Chairman of the Board

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TRIMARK HOME VIDEO

THAT'S IT. YOU'RE DOING FINE.

KEEP PUSHING.

YOU CAN DO IT, HONEY. BREATHE.

BREATHE.

HEY! THAT'S ME!

WHEN I WAS A BABY, OF COURSE.

HI! MY NAME'S EDISON.

THAT'S MY DAD! NOTICE THE RESEMBLANCE?

AND THERE'S MY MOM.

MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I HAVE A HYPERACTIVE IMAGINATION.

BUT I SWEAR, AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER,

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BECOME AN INVENTOR.

SOME KIDS WANT TO BE DOCTORS WHEN THEY GROW UP.

OTHERS WANT TO BE LAWYERS OR PRO BASEBALL PLAYERS.

NOT ME.

BEING AN INVENTOR IS JUST SOMETHING I WAS BORN TO DO.

IT'S A BOY!

OH, MY EDISON.

YOU WERE INCREDIBLE LAST NIGHT.

OH, YOU ANIMAL.

STOP IT.

MY WHOLE BODY IS STILL TINGLING, EDISON.

I WANT YOU.

NOT THIS MORNING, GIRLS. I NEED MY SLEEP.

I WANT YOU.

WHY DID I EVER BUILD YOU?!

[ALARM CLOCK PLAYS BUGLE CHARGE]

OH, EDISON.

GOOD MORNING AND WELCOME TO YOUR NEW DAY.

YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO GET OUT OF BED. 10...

TO SLEEP.

Clock: 9...8...

7... GOING TO SLEEP.

GOING TO SLEEP. 6...5...

4...3...

2...1...

HAVE A NICE TRIP. COCKA-DOODLE-DOO!

LIFT OFF!

AAH!

I'M UP.

MISSION CONTROL, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

OUT HERE IN SPACE.

ROGER, 10-4, COPY 1-8.

MISSION CONTROL, THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD UP HERE.

EVERYTHING'S SMOOTH AND DANDY!

ROGER. COPY. WE GOT 10 SECONDS TILL WE OPEN THE POD BAY DOORS.

NEGATIVE, COMMANDER. WE HAVE AN ALIEN IN YOUR VICINITY.

WHOOP. WHOOP. WHOOP. HOUSTON, WE GOT A PROBLEM!

THIS HIDEOUS SPACE BEAST JUST DEVOURED 6 OF MY MEN!

UHNNNN!

NOW, THIS IS YOUR BATHROOM, AND THIS IS YOUR SHOWER.

AAH! IT'S THE ALIEN!

OHH!

MRS. KRUBAVITCH, PLEASE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

MAYBE WE SHOULD COME BACK LATER.

OH, NOW, DON'T YOU WORRY.

I'LL HAVE THIS PLACE FUMIGATED AND STERILIZED

AS SOON AS THE MUTANT IS GONE.

AAH-AAH-AAAA!

THIS, MY DEARS, THIS IS THE KITCHEN.

IT LOOKED BETTER WHEN IT WAS A CRACK HOUSE.

BUT ALL THE APPLIANCES ARE INCLUDED.

OH! OH! OH! OH, THE DINING ROOM.

COME TO THE DINING ROOM.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE BEAUTIFUL DINING ROOM.

HO HO! DUDE! THAT'S GNARLY,

HOW YOU SHOT THROUGH THAT TUBE.

YEAH. REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I ACED THAT TSUNAMI

OFF THE COAST OF GUAM WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN.

IT'LL BE PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL WHEN WE BURN ALL THIS JUNK.

WHAT'S UP?

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM. COULDN'T YOU JUST--

MRS. KRUBAVITCH! WHAT IS GOING ON?

YOU'RE BEING EVICTED.

THAT'S WHAT, TURD BREATH.

EVICTED? WHY?

WHY? BECAUSE YOU SCUM-SUCKING, SALTWATER-CLOGGED,

LARD ASS, DEADBEATS, SLACKAHOLIC FREELOADERS

CAN'T AFFORD THIS PLACE.

YOU CAN'T EVEN AFFORD CLOTHES.

NICE DUCK.

COVER YOURSELF, MAN.

ON 3. 3.

THANK YOU.

YOU MORONS OWE ME 3 MONTHS' BACK RENT.

WAIT!

3 MONTHS! THAT'S TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

IT'S BEEN EDISON'S TURN TO PAY THE RENT. THERE.

TELL ME YOU DID NOT SPEND THE RENT MONEY

ON ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR GADGETS.

OHHH!

GUYS, I'M SORRY! BUT, GUYS, LOOK, I'M TELLING YOU

THIS IS THE SURE-FIRE WINNER.

IT'S THE PET ROCK FOR THE NINETIES.

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT

THE ANATOMICALLY-CORRECT FANNY PACK.

LOOK AT THAT MAN. THAT'S NASTY.

NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S PERFECT FOR NUDE BEACHES.

OH, AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE GLO-GUNK,

FOR NIGHT SURFING. OH, YEAH.

THAT COST US ABOUT, WHAT, 2 MONTHS' RENT?

REMEMBER THE NIGHT WE ALL DIPPED HER, HUH?

LET'S NOT FORGET

THE HANDY-DANDY KETCHUP HELPER.

OVER 11 SOLD!

AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER BOUGHT 10 OF 'EM.

THOUGHT YOU GUYS LIKED THEM.

WE LOVE 'EM...

BUT THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T.

WE GOT BOXES OF YOUR GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEMES

OUT IN THE GARAGE GATHERING MAJOR DUST.

NO MORE MS. SUNSHINE FOR YOU THREE.

I WANT MY MONEY NOW!

I'LL TAKE CARE OF CUJO.

MRS. KRUBAVITCH, LOOK, WE GO BACK A LONG TIME, RIGHT?

WE HAVE THAT WARM, PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP.

CAN I CALL YOU MOM?

YECCH.

WE LOVE YOU.

THAT LOVE CRAP DOESN'T WORK WITH ME.

OK. I'M GONNA LEVEL WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT?

WE'RE KIND OF GOING THROUGH A NEGATIVE CASH FLOW SITUATION,

ALL RIGHT? KIND OF A PERSONAL RECESSION.

BUT, HEY! HOW ABOUT THIS,

A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF THESE?

MY FAVORITE INVENTION.

A SLURPY CUP WITH A HEATER ON IT. WATCH.

THIS WAY, NO BRAIN FREEZE. BRILLIANT, HUH?

IF I DON'T HAVE MY MONEY BY THE END OF THE MONTH,

I'LL HAVE YOUR SKANKY, DINGLEBERRY-RIDDEN ASSES

TOSSED OUT OF HERE.

YOU GOT THAT?!

YES, SIR.

YOU OK?

THAT WAS INTENSE.

YEAH. SHE SURE KNOWS A LOT OF ADJECTIVES.

TRUST ME, GUYS.

I'VE GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL.

IT TOOK ME MONTHS AND MONTHS,

BUT I FINALLY GOT THAT MEETING

AT THE GADGET CITY COMPANY.

THEY'RE GONNA GO NUTS FOR MY IDEAS.

Edison: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS ONE?

IT'S A BLOW DRYER FOR BALD GUYS.

I CALL IT THE "JIMMY BUFF-IT."

NEXT!

WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

NEXT!

OK. HOLD ON. I GOT MORE. HOLD ON TO THIS.

CHECK IT OUT. IT'S A BASEBALL BAT FOR BASEBALL PLAYERS.

YOU SEE, THIS WAY THEY CAN GRAB THEIR NUTS

AND STILL CONCENTRATE ON HITTING THE BALL.

NEXT.

DON'T WORRY. ONE MORE.

NO. I MEANT NEXT...

AS IN GET...OUT!

I STILL GOT PLENTY MORE STUFF.

HAVE I SHOWN THE SLIGHTEST BIT

OF INTEREST IN ANY ONE OF YOUR IDEAS?

NO, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST PLAYING HARD TO GET.

LOOK, LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU.

I'M AFRAID YOU ARE NOT GADGET CITY MATERIAL.

YOU SEE, WE CATER TO THE FAMILY MAN,

THE BUSINESS TRAVELER,

THE NORMAL EARTH-DWELLING HUMAN BEING.

NOW, FRANKLY, YOUR INVENTIONS...

YEAH...

SUCK!

OK, ONE MORE, OK? AND THEN I PROMISE I'LL GO.

LOOK, NOW, I'VE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.

DON'T FEEL LIKE WEARING ALL THAT SLOPPY BUG SPRAY?

JUST WEAR ONE OF THESE. THE BUG ZAPPER HAT.

NOW NO MORE PESKY INSECTS RUINING YOUR FAMILY PICNIC.

AND, LOOK, IT EVEN WORKS WITH KILLER BEES.

FLY! BE FREE!

TRY NOT TO BE SCARED. THEY CAN SENSE FEAR.

DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, WITH TY'S $102.37

AND MY $50