Slay

Fuck, dang it.

Alright.

Who the fuck's doing that?

The hell?

Yeah!

Gotcha!

Son of a bitch.

Robin, look out!

What the hell was that?

Oh, my God, was that a person?

Robin!

That wasn't no person.

Just some rabid animal.

Who let your pussy out of its cage?

So, last night's audience really liked

our number after intermission,

so I think I'm gonna move it up.

We should swap Bella's solo for mine.

No, no, we still need an upbeat number

right before the reading.

Okay, then I'll close it.

Girl, this is not the Olive Wood Show.

Will you quit pitching this?

Robin, as our manager,

you want a killer show, right?

Perhaps we can tackle

this exciting idea tomorrow?

Or,

we vote on it.

Bella!

Yeah?

Should I close the show?

Yes, bitch!

You always slay.

See? Two to one.

We're not making any major changes.

Oh, okay. So, fuck my ideas.

Look here!

Half of these ideas are yours!

And you want to know why?

Because I take

suggestions like I suck dick.

If it's good, I'll swallow.

I've seen her do it.

Yes, diva. Listen to your mother.

Bitch, you just agreed with me!

About what?

About me closing.

Well, whatever Mama wants.

Not you taking the word drag literally.

So, Mama...

Uh-huh.

Y'all been at it a lot recently.

Any issues I need to be worried about?

Girl, there's no issues.

She's just cranky is all.

We're all exhausted and being broke ass

poor ain't helping.

Well, luckily tonight's

not just a generous paycheck.

It's also at a legendary venue.

I don't know how you pulled this one off.

We're here.

Wait, wait, Robin, stop!

The Bold Buck?

Yeah, you girls excited?

Please tell me you're joking?

What?

We've been looking

forward to this gig for ages.

Robin, sweetie,

we've been looking forward

to performing at The Bold Tuck.

Not this dive for

Sons of Anarchy rejects.

Bitch, you booked the wrong venue!

Watch your mouth.

But she's right, sweetie.

You booked the wrong venue.

Oh fudge, not again.

Oh my God, I have zero bars!

Yay, we're here.

Ooh, check out the trade.

Plaid on plaid on plaid, yes cowboy!

It's giving authentic,

Blake Shelton realness.

Well, looky here.

Looks like the

carnival freak show's in town.

You lady boys lost or summin' ?

No, no, we're good.

You need help turning

your asses around or what?

This ass has been turned, lifted,

and dropped more times

than a broadway curtain.

If it was gonna have any more work done,

it wouldn't be by you.

Your makeup and fairy glitter

ain't fooling nobody, fellas.

Bitch, neither is that flashy exhaust

on that entry level hog.

Shut the fuck up, Fatboy.

Evening.

Hello, yes, I'm Robin Banks.

We spoke over email.

Uh, we did?

We're performing tonight.

Y'all a band or summin' ?

We're drag queens, sweetie.

Y'all are in the wrong place.

I wish we were.

This some kinda joke, Dusty?

Yeah uh, Mindy must have booked it.

Oh, fabulous.

May we speak with Mindy?

She works day shift.

The person who

booked us is not even here?

Yeah, looks that way.

Perfect, let's just

get the hell outta here.

No, no, no, no, no, no, don't go.

Look, you were booked fair and square.

And I've got no other show lined up, so

welcome to The Buck.

One moment, please.

Group meeting, group meeting.

Do you see all the daddies in here?

I see why this place is so legendary.

Bitch, we're in the wrong place.

We're not staying.

The crowd looks like they're out for blood.

The money we make

here wouldn't even cover

our medical expenses.

Okay, all right.

Bella? Robin?

I'm with you, Mama.

I'm sorry, ladies, this

is my fault, I should've--

Uh, uh, uh, what don't we do?

We don't shit on ourselves.

Exactly.

Alright, let's go.

Oh my God, it's them.

Be cool, be cool.

We are so excited to

watch you perform tonight.

I'm not even a

little embarrassed to admit

it's been the most exciting

thing on my schedule for weeks.

Well, I'm sorry to break

it to you, but unfortunately--

Unfortunately, we are running behind.

Oh, don't worry about that.

It's not like we've

been waiting.. uh.. I don't know,

our entire lives for

this town to throw a drag show.

Bitch, we got you.

Well, we better go get our seats.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

this doesn't change anything.

Olive Wood

I have to tell you,

I loved your performance

at Ride the Saddle Drag.

You should've won,

by the way. Hands down.

Oh my God, right?

Yeah, Carrie On can't read for shit.

Bitch, thank you.

This is like a dream come true.

Nothing good ever

happens in this shit hole town,

but, here you are.

Reminds you why we do this, right?

Argh, shit.

I did not sign up to

break little queer hearts.

Come on then.

Y'all know it takes me at least

an hour to beat my face.

Ain't that the tea.

This is your room for tonight.

Dusty, was it?

Yeah.

I'm detecting notes

of stale beer and sweat.

My guess is piss.

Oh honey, we've got a fix for that.

Oh, wait.

These uh, these sprinklers

are ancient 'n super touchy.

You can't even make smokin'

old fashioneds anymore.

Yeah, the show is in an hour.

Tucking tape.