King of the Hill

Summer.

It's what America does best.

Heck, we were born in the summer.

Oh, my goodness.

Will you look at this outdoor sofa and coffee table?

Wow.

See, the trend today is to make your outdoor space

feel less backyard-y and more living room-y.

Come on, Hank.

Sit with me.

Dream with me.

Well, I'm a guy who can sit on just about anything,

but this furniture is gotdang lovely.

Let's buy it. All of it.

What? Well, I...

I... This is all happening so fast.

I don't... Don't fight it.

I need new pots for the summer.

I'm planting hibiscus to attract hummingbirds, bees,

anything, really.

I'm thinking, "new hammock."

For me, laying and swaying in a hammock

is like a steady morphine drip

without the risk of renal failure.

Is that what I think it is?

Sancta Madre de Dios!

Hank! Hank!

It's beautiful.

This will, no doubt, be the best summer of our entire lives.

Yep. Yep.

Well, I tell you what, man,

I'd love to just chill back and dang ol' grill and chill, man,

but I'm gonna head up to Canada this summer, man.

Canada?

A man only has so many summers, Boomhauer.

Why would you waste yours in a country

that's dismantling its Navy?

Talking about house-swapping with an ol' Canadian family,

for, um, eh?

House-swap?

There's going to be Canadians living here,

walking around, touching things

for three whole months?

You're going to be gone for an absurd amount of time.

What if we all make new friends or get remarried?

It could happen.

Love is funny.

Have fun.

Hope you got your shots.

Boomhauer, don't you dare come back a hockey fan.

Well, man, you know I got to do what I dang old got to do, man.

Miss him. Miss him.

Ripped By mstoll

Yep.

Yup.

Yep.

Look, I know we all miss Boomhauer,

but he wouldn't want us crying in our beer.

It looks like

the Canadians are here.

Boo!

Now, be polite, Dale.

We're Americans.

We're the world's welcome mat.

It doesn't matter if they're from Canada, Laos,

or, God forbid, California.

Right now, they're from Rainey Street,

and it's our patriotic duty

to show them what good neighbors are all about.

Fine. Whatever.

Holy jeez!

This looks like one of those spicy motels.

Well, we wanted something different

than the lake this year.

I think we got 'er.

Oh, dear.

I'm just going to slip this young lady

behind the Chesterfield.

Hello and welcome to the United States.

Peggy Hill, at your service.

Hank Hill. Good to meet you.

Gordon Huskins. It's a pleasure.

Oh, sorry.

This is my wife Maureen and our son Ollie.

How tall are you?

Four foot eleven.

Oh. Right on. That's 150 centimeters.

Hey, I sound tall in Canada.

I wonder if I'm thinner there, too.

Keep talking.

That's a good-looking T-shirt you got there, Gordon.

You in the mower business?

Oh, I wish.

But I've got a thing for McCullum mowers.

Canadian outfit. Ride high. Ride strong.

Ride McCullum.

Now, that's a slogan.

Maureen, this is for you.

And join me, won't you, on a 50-state tour of America?

Here's Texas barbecue sauce,

Washington apples,

Vermont maple syrup.

Oh, that's so nice.

But we always travel with our own pure maple syrup.

It's like they say.

"You don't want to drink the water in every country." Eh?

Uh-huh.

I am telling you, Hank,

those Canadians are not who they pretend to be.

That woman insulted me and every maple tree in Vermont today.

Peggy, they're probably not used to dealing with neighbors.

Canada is vast.

They might go months without seeing another person.

Oh, Hank. You're just easily enchanted

by anyone in lawnmower apparel.

That's why I wore my John Deere beefy-T on our first date.

No, I'm a good neighbor. That's all.

I can handle this.

Remember when that old widow couldn't take care

of her yard anymore?

Who forced her to move?

I did.

: Hello. My name is Suzette.

I live next door.

Yeah, man, dang of bonjour, man.

Here. I brought you some coffee crisps, huh?

Huh. We need to properly position the kegerator.

Some place where I can keep one eye on the grill

and one eye on the game.

I might need to lay down some chalk lines

to make sure I get the angles right.

Eh! How's it going, everybody?

Maureen made a nice tray of her brownies, eh?

So, what do you say? Let's get at 'er!

Well, thanks, Gordon.

Hey, we're going to watch Super Bowl XIII later.

The Broncos' "orange crush"

versus the Cowboys' "doomsday defense."

Want to pull up a chair?

Oh, thanks, but you know,

I prefer the fast-paced Canadian three-down system.

I mean, American football is a real snoozer, huh?

Enjoy your nap, though, eh?

I'd like to put that chuckle of his in a sandwich

and make him eat it.

He's okay, Dale.

That must be how they trash-talk in Canada.

With little chuckles.

Tell you what. Peggy's dying to throw a party

to break in our new patio furniture.

I'll invite the Canadians.

You'll see. They're regular folks.

But enough of that.

We need to build a bar worthy of housing our kegerator.

With this sophisticated new furniture,

I feel like we should be talking about art or-or politics

or-or this new furniture.

I'm confused, Aunt Peggy.

I feel like we're inside, but I'm pretty sure we're outside.

Thank you, Luanne.

Yeah, it's a lovely outdoor couch,

but I'm starting to get a little rash.

Probably all the petrochemicals in the synthetic fabric.

Looks like everyone else is doing fine.

It might be that your skin isn't used to

warm sunlight and friendship.

You might be right.

Because these bugs don't seem to hate it, either.

Ooh, all right! It's going to be that kind of party.

Gentlemen, I know you've all been waiting patiently

and now, to commemorate our first draft beer of the summer,

I present to you your very own personalized frosty beer mugs.

Grab one.

These will be kept here for you, always chilled, always ready.

Uh, wow.

Gordon, I'd be honored if you'd use Boomhauer's.

Cheers, everybody!

Well, I guess it's a fine beer,

you know, if you're not into flavor, but you love

going to the washroom all night.

Oh, sorry.

Maureen's giving me our secret signal to leave.

Good to meet all you.

This mug is Boomhauer.

Gordon left him for dead in those geraniums.

If you ask me,

I think America's building a wall on the wrong border.

This can't be right. Nobody's that rude.

There has to be some kind of cultural misunderstanding.

Uh, how can I help you, officer?

This your house? Yes, sir.

We received a noise complaint.

Noise complaint? Nobody's making any noise here.

I get so angry

when people aren't respectful of their neighbors.

Did you ever stop to think

that maybe there's a bigger world out there