Alibi

— Looking good.

—Morning. —Morning.

Sorry. I should have come Thursday,

but my daughter was taken into hospital.

Oh, dear. What name?

Stephen Clay.

On—call doctor's going, "Nah, it's just a temperature,"

and me going, "That girl is poorly!"

Two hours later, 999.

St. Mary's.

—Appendicitis. —Which ward?

No, not by the time they'd got her open.

Bloody peritonitis.

—Could have lost her. —Which ward?

-18. —18's geriatric.

And I'm warning you now, I am not in the mood for this shit!

Now...

have you done any paid work since you last came to see me?

—Yes'? A bit.

—Couple of days plastering. —Earning what?

£50 a day. —

£75.

Wendy. Go start unpacking for a change.

Look, Graham, I've done that.

No, it doesn't. Just get him.

No. Rob.

— — Sorry.

I know. I'll pay.

—There better be spares. —Only just.

—Well, we've got some glasses. —Don't worry. We've got plenty.

—Yeah'? What, that match? —I'II make sure, Mr. Brentwood.

Yeah? All right.

Yeah, Rob, look, these disco lights.

I've seen traffic lights change color faster, really.

Thank God you've arrived. Come on in.

—Parked 'round the back? —Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, but God knows where. It's pitch black.

Well, that's the whole point, isn't it?

Linda isn't supposed to see the cars outside.

It might get swamped. Unlike yours, mine gets cleaned.

No, no, no. Mine gets cleaned. Does it not, Steph'?

You were gonna leave it at work, weren't you?

— -All right.

Grab a drink. Thanks.

You're welcome.

I'll get some more from the kitchen.

Would you like one?

No.

Would you like one? Right.

These days, Williams High Grade,

but value for money, you need to get it wholesale.

You know —— 21/2Iiters —— Ah.

"You see, value for money,

you've really got to get it wholesale."

—Did you get a drink? —

Where are the rest of them? Really! Look.

We're gonna get 15 minutes' clear warning at least.

As soon as she leaves the auction,

I've got three people ringing me up.

Not two, but three. Relax, okay?

I'm just the tiniest bit worried.

—She's here, she's here! Okay.

Ah! Ooh!

Greg?!

Why is every bloody phone engaged?

Surprise!

Oh!

Oh, you smart ones!

You had plans!

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, my...

—Oh, my God! —

— Happy anniversary!

Happy anniversary!

Congratulations. Mm.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not rushing you.

I'm not rushing you.

When was this planned?

It's taken a while.

Look.

Beautiful...

...and expensive.

"Expensive" implies more than it's worth,

and I don't know what could be.

I was in the bank four hours ago,

asking for more time on the mortgage.

Linda, do please be quiet.

Please wear it.

I think it's beautiful. So are you.

Stuff the mortgage.

Absolutely no rush at all...

but we're all waiting for you.

[Mid—tempo music plays, indistinct conversations]

— —Listen, ladies and gentleman,

please.

I've saving the dullest till the last.

Well, no, that wasn't, actually. I've got my greeting here.

Quick, somebody get some music on.

Come on, Greg! You'll spoil it.

—Nobody wants a speech. No, tough.

Really. Tough. It's taken a week to write this.

And it's still rubbish, you know.

— Oh!

All I want to say is, thanks for coming.

Thanks for keeping it quiet. Pretty successful, I thought.

I knew nobody had told her, because she wouldn't be here...

'cause she never, ever wants to be the center of attention,

so she just wouldn't have turned up.

But, seriously, every year of our marriage

has been a bit of an eye—opener for me,

and I wanted to celebrate tonight

'cause it's the most I've loved her.

It's a rod for my own back, I know,

'cause if I love her more each year, it's, um...

Next year's do is gonna cost

—an absolute bloody fortune. —

If he asks you next year, you tell him a big no.

But you know what? I really don't care,

'cause she's worth every penny.

To Linda!

To Linda!

To Greg and Linda.

To Greg and Linda.

Hey. —

—Oh, come on. Aw!

Nah, think what you like.

It's our tune, and we're sticking with it.

—Linda. -Oh.

Good luck.

Hello! Listen.

Listen —— Oh, God, you've multiplied.

Uh, no, this is just a huge thank—you,

'cause it's, um —— It was stunning. The food was stunning.

So a big thank—you, and, um...

I'm actually bankrupt now,

—so what do you want me to wash? —

No, listen, this is —— Here it is. All in order.

Scrutinize without embarrassment.

There's an extra 20 quid for each of you,

and I'm saying that aloud, so he doesn't spend it

on a tumble dryer for the missus.

Honestly, that's more than generous.

No, no. Excellent work, fair reward.

If we all believed in that, there'd be a lot less fighting,

wouldn't there? Or is that religion?

—Thank you. Pleasure.

Anyway, good night. Thank you.

Okay, I'm giving money out in the van, okay?

Did you get that, Marcey'?

Right. Yeah.

Yeah, we're coming up to Canfield, I think.

I'll ring when we're about 10 minutes away.

You're slurring your words.

Who'd you go out with?

Well, you've had someone 'round,

or you wouldn't have been drinking.

Come on, who is he?

Carl!

I've left my bag behind!

—Car|! -What?

—Back at the house. —You had one when you came out.

No, no, no. My handbag.

I had it in the bedroom where we got changed.

—Can you turn 'round'? —Ah, no, Marcey, love, I can't.

Everybody without cars got people waiting.

But my keys are in there! My phone's in there.

And they won't let me in work without my security pass.

Take a vote.

If it's okay with them, I'll do a U—ie.

Look, I'm gonna start walking towards Broughton.

Well, I'm not happy about it, either.

It's bloody freezing,

but the guy in the kiosk wouldn't let me in.

Give me the driver's name so I know who to expect.

Okay.

Give us a call when you're ready, yeah?

Hello?

Hello?

Mr. Brentwood'?

I'm from the catering company.

Mm.

Mr. Brentwood'?

— —

Hello?