The Real West

Okay.

Noah! Breakfast!

Mom, did you know that there are four types of ghosts?

Poltergeists,

funnel ghosts, orbs, and wisps?

I did not know that.

What kind of ghosts

do you think will be at the ranch, Mom?

I don't know.

I guess we're just gonna have to find out.

Oh, man.

I thought you told Noah no devices at breakfast,

or we'd get addictified?

"Addicted." And I'm not addicted,

I'm waiting to hear about tenure,

and I want you to eat up,

because we need to be on the road by 8:00.

Where is your brother? Noah?

You know, you boys are gonna love this place.

There's campfires, hiking, horses...

Noah! Breakfast, please!

Where is your brother?

He's probably still asleep.

-He got home late last night. -What?

Ollie!

-Oops. -Why?

Sorry. Jasmine and I wanted to get a head start

on college applications before football starts up.

And you thought the night before we leave

for family vacation was a good time to do it?

It's my applications, too.

Yours?

Why? I thought we decided you were gonna go to Boulder?

I'm about to get tenure.

It's a great school. You can live at home.

Yeah, it sounds good,

but we thought it might be fun to go somewhere together.

Yeah... I mean... super-fun.

It's just...

don't you think it would be... healthy

for the two of you to, you know, kinda branch out,

meet some new people?

I was kind of thinking the same thing,

but about you.

Me?

You're awesome, but...

you know, it's been three years since Dad died,

and it could be good to make some friends who aren't,

you know... your kids?

Do you feel this way?

I think that it's nice

that you don't have anything better to do

than hang out with us.

Wow. Okay.

Uh, well...

I'm glad we had this little talk.

Please eat your breakfast.

Let's get going.

What's Jasmine doing here?

Uh-oh.

You didn't tell her yet?

Don't be mad at her! It was my idea!

Hey, Ms. Granway!

Hi...

Did you sneak-attack-invite your girlfriend

on our family vacation?

I'm really sorry. I-I meant to tell you,

but I knew you'd be mad, so I kept putting it off.

Noah!

Hi... Sylvia!

Oh, hey, Rebecca. Thanks for doing this!

Uh...

I love our family trips,

I do, it's just it's me and Jasmine's last chance

to spend time together before school starts.

What are you thinking?

Hey! I've never been to a ranch before.

I actually saved up money for this coat

so I could be authentic.

And authentic it is!

Did your parents

plan a vacation for while you were gone?

Yeah, it's more of a belated- honeymoon type of thing.

Hawaii?

Yes! Yeah, it's our first time!

Wow.

Well, aloha!

-Bye, sweetie! -Bye.

- -Thank you so much.

-I really appreciate it. -Okay.

Let's just go inside, Jasmine.

Okay...

Hi! You're here! Welcome!

Fun, hey?

Hi!

Hey! Come here now. Come, come, come!

It's so nice to see you!

How are you doing?

You look so good, sister.

You're taller than me. Oh, my gosh.

Look at you! Hi, baby. Nice to see you, sweetheart.

Ollie, come here!

Oh, hi!

Uh, this is my girlfriend, Jasmine.

Jasmine, this is Grandma Maureen and Aunt Cassidy.

So great to finally meet you guys.

Noah always talks about how awesome his family is.

-Aw! -Oh, that's so sweet!

Well, you're welcome here. More, the merrier.

Uh, we'll go take the stuff out of the back.

-Okay, great, thank you. -Wow, you're so cool

to let Noah bring his girlfriend on the trip.

Yeah, "so cool"

he basically told me I need to get a life.

-Oh, that's so weird. -Okay.

Okay, you leave your sister alone.

She's doing the best she can.

This place is incredible.

Isn't it?

Yes, and this was your sister's idea,

in honor of you getting tenure.

Well, I mean, that hasn't happened yet, so.

Stop being modest.

Aunt Cassidy, I drew you a picture.

Wow.

Ranch ghosts can play the harmonica.

Wow! Is that what this is?

No.

It's a ghost holding a flower.

-Purple flower. -Flower. Right there.

Ghosts also have a strong sense of smell.

-Oh, wow! -I didn't know that.

Well, I love it,

and I'm going to hang it in my room.

Right! Speaking of rooms!

Okay, boys, you're gonna be in the Wrangler Room,

um, Auntie and Mom next door...

and Jasmine, don't worry, we'll find you a room.

Okay. Let me take one. Let me take one.

Let's go! Here, I'll grab that for you.

-Thank you so much. -Let's do this!

Yeah!

Family at the ranch!

So... Jasmine seems nice.

Yeah. She's...

Nice.

You know, I just wish they weren't so... serious.

Wow! Pot callin' the kettle--

No. Okay, Shawn and I, that--

we were different, our whole-- that was different.

-Totally different. -Yeah.

Mm.

Oh, I just, maybe I'm in denial that he's growing up so fast,

and he really likes her,

so I should probably get to know her.

Mm. That's the spirit!

Besides, I'm really glad that Jasmine crashed,

because I have a surprise of my own.

I thought you dumped the performing artist?

Oh, I did.

No, this is my new squeeze.

Okay, we met in New York,

and we totally hit it off,

and get this-- he's from Colorado

and happens to be in the area for work,

so I took it as a sign that we should take a vacation here.

I thought you picked this place in honor of my tenure?

Two birds!

Besides, I couldn't actually tell Mom and Dad

that I came here for some guy,

otherwise they would think I was jumping into something.

-You're unbelievable. -No, which-- I'm not, I swear!

Oh-- Uh...

That's Aaron. He owns the ranch.

Good morning, ladies.

How can I help you?

Uh, we were...

Uh... looking for a room.

That's right.

Ah. We're all full up.

Let's see if we can work something out.

Welcome to the Biscuit Room.

We can set you up a cot in here,

but that's about the best we can do.

Uh, it's, uh, it's great.

I will go grab my bags.

You know what, Jasmine?

This is gonna sound selfish...

but, uh, I want the room.

You know what? You can bunk with Cassidy.

Really?

Yeah! Yeah, it'll be great. It'll be an adventure.

You know, cooks used to sleep off the kitchen.

Right? Breakfast at daybreak.

Meat and potatoes, coffee, you know, biscuits--

that kind of thing-- it'll be great.

Thank you, Ms. Granway. I really appreciate it.

I will go unpack, and I'll see you later.

Bye.

Seems like you know a lot about ranch life.