The Apostate (El apóstata)

Hello.

Is Father Quirós here?

Is he dead?

You made a vow of silence?

Christ! For how long?

Thanks.

Father Quirós?

Good morning.

Good morning. Are you here to confess?

-No, I came for something else. -Come in and sit down.

How can I help you?

I need a baptismal certificate.

Were you baptized here?

Yes, by you. I also had my First Communion here.

Do you remember when you got baptized?

September of '78.

Then the record should be here.

In the books.

What's your name, son?

Tamayo. Gonzalo Tamayo.

The son of Ernesto Tamayo...

and Carmen Santamarina?

Yes.

Why do you need a baptismal certificate?

To apostatize.

Dear Javi, I have finally begun the proceedings.

I went by the church to get the baptismal certificate.

Did you know Father Quirós is still wearing the red ring?

I remembered that when we kissed his hand,

we always tried to see our reflection on the ring's stone.

Do you think we were looking for a divine sign?

I really miss those days when you lived in Madrid, you bastard.

I've got so much to tell you.

Since I've decided to apostatize,

lots of things are happening that I can't control.

Look, the other morning I was asleep in bed...

-Hi. -Hello.

What's up?

-Poor Carlos! -What about me?

Don't annoy me, too. He's so immature!

-So, it's over? -I don't know.

And I got the apartment.

-That's good news. -Yeah, great.

The perfect moment to doubt everything.

Hey, Pilar, can you put that paper back on the floor?

It's a reminder.

I have to re-do two invoices for my father.

If that's not there, I won't remember.

Were you asleep?

No, don't worry. I have to go to work.

Try to sleep, my love.

There's some food in the fridge that grandma made,

if you're hungry.

-All right. -OK.

Yes?

-Gonzalo? -Hello, mother.

-Are you awake? -Yes, I am.

-Is anyone with you? -No, I'm alone.

You sound weird. Are you sick?

It's just very early.

-I'll call you later. -OK, bye.

It was impossible not to desire my cousin.

Even as a child, she was beautiful.

I was ashamed to tell you that one day I couldn't control myself

and asked my grandmother for permission to marry her.

I lied and said the Pope had to marry us, for it not to be a sin.

So, I needed her authorization.

-"Will you let us, grandma?" -"Of course, sweetheart."

-Hello, Gonza. -Hello, Antonio.

Did you know Galván and Toti were expelled from class?

Why?

For doing that tickling thing in class.

We've talked about that, haven't we?

Yes, it's something you do in private.

One day I did it eight times, and a friend, eleven.

Eleven times? No way.

Shall we start with your homework, or do you want to read?

Let's read.

Start here.

From "Moriel".

Do you know if women are ticklish, too?

Sure, in their own way.

And my mother?

Yes.

-Did she make cookies? -Yes.

Thanks.

How do you know?

-Know what? -About my mother being ticklish.

I don't, I just guess so.

Why do you ask?

I don't know.

-What did you hear? -Nothing.

Carry on.

"Moriel was a bit depressed.

He no longer had the strength to face misfortunes,

and his scorn for events

slowly turned into an almost superstitious terror

that grew with each new blow he received.

The corruption was invincible,

and it seemed easier to destroy that generation than to convince it."

-Gonzalo? -Yes.

-I'm Bishop Jorge. Good morning. -Good morning.

The beadle told me you want to apostatize.

Yes.

I have the application and the baptismal certificate.

-And are you in hurry? -Now?

No, not particularly.

Traditionally apostasy was carried out by an act.

A symbolic act.

The person who wanted to apostatize

stated his decision to abandon the Catholic faith in front of the altar.

Then, he had to leave the church walking backwards

while he looked at the altar.

That's lovely.

-Take one. -No, thanks, I don't...

So, tell me, why do you want to do this?

-There are lots of reasons. -You can tell me what's going on.

My parents betrayed me. I was not allowed to choose.

-My baptism was involuntary. -Naturally, so was mine.

The Catholic education I received did me no good.

Many of the things they taught me have been counter-productive.

What things?

Why was the spirituality you learned counter-productive?

Well, it was never about spirituality.

It was more a matter of scaring us with superstitions,

of control as opposed to reasons.

And then there are the dogmas, the monotheism,

the idea that things happen in a determined way.

It seems like an unnatural way of conceiving the world,

which leaves me no space.

There are other things,

like, if God orders you to be poor,

how do you end up being rich?

We all have what we've been given, son.

Your doubts have led you to bitterness. That's very normal.

Great men of faith have doubted.

It's good that you're curious,

but you forget that hatred is an illness cured by words.

As St. Ignatius said: "In dubiis non est agendum."

-In cases of doubt, do not act. -Do not act.

Doubt,

-desolation... -Yes, I understand.

But I don't know how to believe in any of that.

Much less in a vengeful, suspicious God.

Gonzalo, let me advise you.

You'll be a good Christian.

St. Augustine was just like you. And God's inspiration

converted him into one of the Fathers of our Church.

You, too, will hear the Lord's voice and be converted.

You will love what you now hate.

You will love the nobles,

protectors of the industries and an example of good customs.

You will love the kings, images of God on earth who enforce the law.

And the friars, poor, humble creatures

who teach good doctrines and comfort the afflicted.

If it were as you say, Father,

and their aim wasn't to exploit people, I would love them.

But it doesn't seem right to continue being a part of something

with which I don't identify.

Do you think I feel totally represented by the Pope?

Do you feel represented by the president?

-By the king? -No, not at all.

And do you stop being Spanish because of that? I doubt it.

So, tell me. By what do you feel represented?

-By myself. -Of course.

And tell me, have you told your mother?

My mother? No, she still doesn't know.

I see. And you want to continue with the process?

Yes, I want to be erased from the baptismal records

and from any other record there is.

Don't worry, Gonzalo. We'll make a note in the book.

Great. And then what?

You have to wait for the letter from the archbishopric.

But can't you...?

No, no, you submit the documentation,

and we'll send the letter to the address you give us.

You start the process over there.

Hello...

How much?

Thank you.

FAIL

Professor?

Professor!

Look, Tamayo, philosophizing isn't forcing the classics

to say whatever you want. There are absolute truths!

Then, why think?

For the Greeks, there was only one sin:

excess, hubris.

Human beings must accept that mediocrity is their natural condition.

Isn't there always a hidden meaning in things?

And to discuss that in depth

I've invited you to attend my class again, next year, as you know.

"Idols of the cave."

"Great is the audacity of ignorance."

-Hi. -Hello.

Could I have a couple of steaks?

Yes, would you like veal or aged beef?

-Veal. -Veal.

How would you like them, thin or thick?

-Thin. -Thin.