Upload

Is it... a little...

sparse?

Yeah, yeah. I'll keep building it out.

But, uh, it's a lot for me to code all by myself.

Once we upload me,

I'll have all the time in the world though, so...

I guess so.

Also, um, I may have spent

a little too much time on the recliner,

but it's gonna be my command center,

so this baby had to be perfect.

It heats, cools, massages

and, uh, well, reclines, obviously.

Oh, does it dispense lotion and tissues, too?

Why would...

- Very funny. -

I'm not gonna be doing that here, okay?

A lot. I'm gonna be...

Like, I'll do it a normal amount, okay?

Not a weird amount.

Come here.

This is just temporary, okay?

You're gonna win your case.

One day, we'll have free upload for everybody.

I know.

I just wish we had more time.

Me, too.

What'd you add?

Uh, a couple more batteries and solar panels.

Worst case, I have a friend

leave us in some canyon in Arizona.

It'd last 200 years.

No maintenance.

That's so sweet.

But I'm going to misplace that way before

- it's time for me to upload. - Yeah.

I'll be in the junk drawer next to the batteries.

Okay.

Should we do this?

I guess so.

Tomorrow will be one month.

Mm-hmm. Makes sense.

How do you want to spend your last 20 minutes in a body?

Excuse me? No cuddle?

Oh, I just want to make sure your avatar is perfect.

You know? There were some things I missed last time.

Like what?

Like...

...that little curve in your neck.

- This one? - Mm-hmm.

And your smell.

- You creep. -

Well, at least I get to go back to ten percent body fat again.

Oh, no, no.

I-I like you this way.

- More to love. - Don't even think about it.

- Okay, Nora? -

I am dead-ass serious.

- Ten or less. -

What if we push my upload a little?

Nathan.

I feel great, okay?

What's one more day?

Okay, if something happens to you tomorrow,

I would never forgive myself.

Nothing's gonna happen to me.

Mm.

- Sure. - Yes!

- Okay. - Ooh.

I mean, you know, why shouldn't you have

a real send-off day like everybody else?

Yeah, I didn't have one the first time around.

- Fun. - Hmm.

All right, we'll do all your favorite things.

Oh.

Oh, it's just past midnight.

Happy upload day.

You and Norma spent quite a lot of time together

in the memory parlor the other day.

Must have been hard for you to stay faithful.

You know, the two of you in that small space.

And she's so pretty.

Eh.

- Brownie? - Yes?

I promise I am not going to be mad.

I just need to know the truth.

Did anything happen?

Ingrid, I promise.

Nothing happened.

Okay.

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay.

Flesh Nathan and I almost kissed.

Ooh.

Feels so good to have that off my chest.

Honesty is the best policy.

Well, if we're being totally honest,

the same thing happened with Nora and me, too.

We almost kissed, but I decided I want to be with you.

I'm glad we can be so mature about this.

You piece of shit!

- What? - Oh, my God!

You just admitted the same thing.

It is different! He is you!

Nothing happened!

Oh, but it almost did. You said "almost."

- Almost, and then I chose you! - But if...

- You know what? - What?

You're right.

I'm not gonna say anything else about it.

I'm good.

You say you're good, but you're not blinking.

I'm so good.

You don't seem very good.

Oh, shit.

Angel.

- Whoa! - Calm down.

Do you still have Norma's avatar

that you used for our dinner party?

Y-Yes. Why?

Okay, get it ready for me.

I'm going in.

And when we're together, it is great.

She's sweet, she pays for everything,

and she just gets me.

But then on the other hand, she is into some sketchy shit.

And when I say sketchy, I mean sketchy.

Sketch. E.

Sounds pretty sketchy.

Well, why don't I meet Karina? I'm a great judge of character.

Didn't you get catfished by a terrorist?

One time!

She was a colonel in the Revolutionary Guard,

and she was beautiful.

Well, he.

Turned out not as attractive as in the photo.

But I guess that doesn't matter.

Part of me will always love him.

I don't know.

I don't want her to meet any more of my friends.

It gets weird.

That is the first time

that you have admitted that we're friends, you know?

Progress.

Hey. Ivan.

Am I interrupting?

Hmm? No, no, it's, uh...

it's just the warm-up.

Real show doesn't start till everyone's

- nice and limber. - Gross.

Uh, hey, I just wanted to say thank you, okay?

You really came through with the Choak drive. The stuff...

Oh, man, geez, keep it down.

If anyone finds out that I took Choak, I'm toast.

Okay, fine. I'm sorry.

I'll leave you to your, uh...

Bird watching.

- -

Hey, if you...

- -

- Hey, bud? - Ah.

Hey.

- Did you hear any of that? - Uh-huh.

If anyone finds out that I took Choak, I'm toast.

Oh, okay, okay, I-I need you to delete that

right now, please.

I can't. It goes against my programming. Sorry.

How about we keep it a secret, huh?

Don't tell anyone, okay?

- Why would I do that? - Because.

Because... of the most important human programming of all.

The Golden Rule.

"Treat others as you want to be treated."

If you had a secret,

you wouldn't want me to tell anyone, right?

That's an elegant piece of code, sir.

I will keep your secret.

Oh, thank you.

But I have

this sudden desire to tell someone though.

- Why do you think that is? - Just don't!

- Understood. - Okay.

That makes me want to say it even more though.

So weird.

Item 1066.

Blue Man Group? You know what?

I also think NSYNC would be cooler, but...

who has $10,000?

Wait, so they're clowns?

Oh, sorry, mimes. Excuse me.

Oh, that sounds hilarious. Can I get two of them?

Oh.

Okay, well, um...

Hmm.

Oh, what about "Blue Dude Solo,

not affiliated with Blue Man Group"?

Okay.

How long of a weird dance, and will he meet us at a park?

Book him.