Vacation Friends 2

Oh, I think I forgot my headphones on the dresser.

Ugh. Now I gotta look for a Brookstone.

All right, what time's our connecting flight?

I don't know.

- You don't know? - Mm-mmm.

Okay, Marcus, if you're sick, just tell me.

Look, I'm not sick. I'm on vacation. I told you.

- While I'm on vacation, I'ma just float. - You just gonna float?

- Yep. - Okay.

You trying to tell me you don't currently have

all of our connecting flights saved in your phone?

Not at all. Floating.

Okay. They change our gates on us. You still floating?

Look here, baby. They could put us on a whole nother shuttle

- to a whole nother terminal… - Hmm.

…and I'll be fine with that.

- Ooh. - I'm floating, baby.

That might be the single sexiest thing you've ever said to me.

- Come here, Mr. Parker. Yeah. - Look at you, I like that. Mmm.

Attention, Marcus and Emily Parker.

- Please come to the TSA immediately. - What?

You have failed to notify your airline

- that you are registered sex offenders. - What?

- I repeat. - What?

Depraved, nasty-ass sex offenders.

I knew it had to be them.

Ha!

- Will you put that thing down? - What the fuck is wrong with y'all?

So happy to see you!

Look at us. All together again.

You guys, we have been so stoked for this.

- I know. - We really have.

I mean, Ron and I have been to all the best places in the world.

Yeah.

- Reno, Orlando, Panama City. - That's in Panama.

- Mexico City. - It's in Mexico.

But never the fucking Caribbean!

It's all because of you, Marcus. Thank you.

Look, we just wanted to give you guys a real honeymoon. You deserve that.

Plus, I got a really good deal, so it was a no-brainer.

But just so you know, no cliff jumping this time.

You say that when you're sober.

No, I'm serious, for a specific reason, you know, um…

- I'm so excited. Girl, you tell them. - You want me to tell them? You tell them.

- No, you tell them. - Um…

Well, Marcus and I, um…

We're going to start trying to have a baby.

We trying to have a baby.

Fuck me in the ass. That's amazing.

Yes. You two are gonna love being parents.

It is the best thing that has ever happened to us.

I mean, you wouldn't even believe how different our lives have become.

I mean, we've grown up. We've really settled down. You know?

We're so boring, I don't even recognize us anymore.

I mean, look at me.

Never thought I was going to be one of those overprotective helicopter dads,

but that baby is all I think about.

He's obsessed.

I don't mean to alarm you,

but I just found this crawling under our table.

I believe it's yours?

- He's crawling? - He's crawling?

- That's fucking amazing! - Holy shit!

It's your first time!

- Good job! - He's a prodigy! He's amazing.

Honey, you're the most amazing baby in the whole world.

We love you, Marcus.

So where is the guest of honor?

- Two o'clock. Coming in hot! - Whoo!

Yo-ho-ho!

That's right! Whoo!

- Yeah! - I can't believe you made it.

I can't believe it either.

And a million thanks for the invitation.

As a hotel manager, it seems I am forever the host but never the guest.

We are so happy you are here. We had to have you.

Please. An all-expense-paid vacation

in exchange for some light babysitting with my favorite little man in the world?

Of course I'd drop everything.

Plus, it's the Caribbean, the land of love and romance.

Who knows what awaits an exceedingly single man like myself?

But now, if you'll excuse me, I must powder my nose.

- Bye! - Classic Maurillio.

Such a sweetheart. Watch this.

Stop that man! He has anthrax!

The TSA is a stupid fucking job.

And all of you guys have no fucking sense of humor.

You need to have a good laugh.

I was having a fun time!

We've reached our cruising altitude.

Feel free to move about the cabin. Enjoy your flight.

- Baby, what is that? - It's an ovulation tracker.

Is it weird that you have my ovulation cycle on your phone?

I'm just trying to stay on it. So we don't have to guess.

We know exactly when it's ready.

- You are ovulating. - Baby, shut that...

Gotta figure how to turn these notifications off.

Oh, my God. You're ovulating? That's awesome, Em.

No, no, no, no. It's just... It's the test run.

If you need to, you can do some inseminating in the bathroom.

You up for it?

- No, I think we're done. - No, we're good. Yeah.

Are you sure? Kyla and I just did it in the back one. It was great.

And I would definitely not use the front of the plane facilities.

Disposing of a fulfilled diaper during turbulence was quite challenging.

Hey, I... I noticed something a bit odd before I left.

As I was making my seat selection, I asked to be placed closer to you all,

and the agent said that you and Emily are not on the returning flight.

Are you aware of that?

What? Pfft.

Yeah, I'm aware, 'cause we staying for a couple extra more days.

Just a little longer.

And do lots and lots of inseminating?

Ah. I see. Excuse me.

You didn't tell them.

Did I actually tell them why we're going? No!

Marcus! Why?

Look, man, they gonna be long gone by the time I get into my work thing.

- You mean your meeting? - It's not just any meeting, baby.

It's an interview to build a fucking five-star hotel. Okay?

- Look, the CEO is flying in for this. - Sir, sir, sir!

I can't let those animals anywhere near her.

What happened to the guy that was just floating?

Baby, that's... that's what I'm doing.

I'm fucking floating. And that's what I'ma do for five days.

I'ma float with their out-of-control ass, okay?

And then they gonna leave, and I get right in business mode again.

Keep everything separate, and I'm relaxed.

Why can't you just take a Valium like the rest of us?

What the shit?

- This is nice! - Oh, my God!

God…

- Holy shit! This is incredible. - Oh, my God! Amazing!

What are they doing letting us in a place this nice?

I know. They really fucked up.

- Mimosas! - Oh!

- Hi. Thank you. - Welcome.

Look how nice this place is. Could you imagine Parker Construction…

building a beautiful hotel like this in Chicago?

This hotel has two different sushi bars.

Did you see the full meditation temple on the way in? What?

Helicopter pad. This hotel has a fucking helicopter pad?

Guys, we should get a helicopter so we can land it on the helicopter pad.

Yes! Baby, how the fuck have we not heard about this place?

Strange name though. The Kim Wae.

Oh, Kim Wae, it's a Korean ownership group.

How'd you know that?

Uh…

I read about it before I got here, because I...

Before I get to places, I like to, like, read up on it.

You do the same thing, don't you?

- No. - Marcus!

How the hell did you get us in here?

I was talking shop with the manager.

He said this is booked out five years in advance.

He... He said five years, huh?

I guess... I guess I was lucky. You know?

It's so weird how lucky you get sometimes.

Mm-hmm. Very weird, ain't it, baby?

You know, so I'm about to go take a shower,

because I feel a little funky sitting on that plane.

Whoa, hey, Marcus. I just opened this.

Bruh, look, you gotta pace yourself, brother.

We got five days here.

This is 12-year-old El Mirador Grand Reserve.

This bottle of rum is like 700 bucks. And there's a note attached.

"Thank you for being so accommodating. Compliments of the group."

I love compliments, and I love rum.

And I love compliments.

Given the information in front of you, is there any scenario

where we don't drink this rum right fucking now?

He does have a point, baby.

Yeah.

All... All right. Yeah, okay, one shot.

If we do one shot, it can't kill us, right?

Shots, shots, shots, shots!

Whoo!

- Cheers! Fuck it. - Whoo!

- Yeah! Ah! - Mmm.

Yeah, I made it!

Yeah!

Whoo!

To everyone here! To everyone!

Yeah!

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- I fucking love you! - I fucking love you!

What?

Here you are.

- Sort of. - Hmm?

I was wondering where you ended up.

- Did we... Did we sleep out here? - Oh!

We should get some brunch going.

- Ooh, a menu! - Oh, my baby!

Oh, come here, sweetheart.

- Oh, God… - Thank you for watching him last night.

Hi!

Aw.

Man, we went hard last night.

You should've seen Mommy talk her way out of getting arrested last night.

You would've been so proud.