La Tour Montparnasse Infernale

DON'T DIE TOO HARD

- Good one! - Thanks.

- One niI. - No, two niI.

- Two nil? - Two nil.

My turn.

The pushchair!

Ha, ha. We can't have the same sense of humour.

You've got a stain.

Bird brain!

My goodness!

- That reaIly made me laugh! - lt would. It was very funny.

Extremely funny. I've never seen anything so funny!

We're wasting time.

Redo it. I've a Pure Power class tonight.

I'm not wasting time here. Back to work!

To work yourseIf!

I make the decisions.

AlI right, but l decide next.

Do as you like.

Sorry, Mr l-make-alI-the-decisions. Here come the decisions.

Here they come yourseIf!

Hang on!

What's wrong?

- l just cleaned that. - So?

It's re-dirty. It's re-soapy.

WelI redo it, then!

There we are...

- What now? - l've cIeaned it twice.

- So? - l did it once, it got dirtied up,

I re-did it, it got re-dirty...

That's strange.

It's fresh. Very fresh.

It can't be.

Someone's dirtying my window.

- Behind what? - Be quiet!

Behind you. On three...

One...

two...

three!

He's gone. He got away.

He heard you and vanished through a secret trap door.

Shit!

- Where is he? - There. Underneath.

That's amazing.

He's good.

RealIy good.

Very, but you're not thinking! You're taIking baloney!

It's just you and me on this cradIe. Must I say this every night?

Look. Watch this.

Who's doing that?

I am. It was me just now.

Do you see? It was me dirtying it up.

It was you dirtying it up just now!

Fine! Now l know who it was

I can cIean it in confidence

without being disturbed.

- They're stiIl there... - They're always there.

The IittIe one's in Iove with me. He's been after me for 2 months.

He gave me some cheese cubes.

How?

He stuck them to the window.

It's the thought that counts.

He has the amazing gift of being able to lip-read.

Or so he thinks.

HeIlo.

You're sweet but a tiny bit dumb.

What did she say?

You're sweet but a tiny Breton.

She Ioves me. She caIled me sweet.

She also caIled you a tiny Breton!

Better a tiny Breton than a big bird in the bush.

You asked for it!

Here are the reports for your cousins.

Thanks, SyIvie. You can go now.

ShouIdn't I stay for the board meeting?

You go and enjoy your weekend.

You're spared the clan gathering.

AlI right...

I hope you get on better with Mr Lanceval this year.

My uncle's a bit edgy sometimes...

But slapping you because of the coIour of a file...

It's nothing to addle an aardvark about!

What?

Have a nice weekend, SyIvie.

Hang some mice each end, Séverine.

OK, if you say so.

What do you see in her?

- She's not my type. - ReaIly?

I'm not surprised. Your type doesn't exist.

Have you seen your face? Your arms?

They look Iike skyIights!

Are you saying l'm skinny?

Yes!

In 6 months time,

I'lI have a body Iike his.

Peter MacCaIaway. Thanks to his high proteIine diet.

- ProIetine? - ProIeIine.

It may be hard to say

but my muscles are like boIsters.

I mean bouIders.

- BoIlards. - Boilers.

- That's bogus. - My muscIes are bogus.

Shut up a minute, wiIl you? Not bad.

How are you?

You okay, dimwit?

Dine out?

Dinner?

You and me?

That's right, you ape.

The eighth?

That's tonight! She asked me to dinner!

See you tonight.

So, you're perfect are you?

Never brained yourself bowing,

while cleaning the Montparnasse Tower windows?

Get up! Wake up! Here we go!

Watch carefulIy.

- What are you doing? - Over 14kg of water.

RealIy?

Be careful...

It's completeIy safe.

Jean-Louis?

How oId are you?

Just my Friday evening joke.

It's no fun guarding an empty tower.

Before everyone goes l like to...

The big shots arrive in 10 minutes.

Go easy on the jokes.

Mr Lanceval won't be amused.

The onIy reason you didn't Iaugh was

I wasn't wearing my costume.

I'lI kiIl 'em in this!

A bit of advice, if you vaIue your job.

Don't worry. l understand.

It's aIways the same with big wheeIs,

they wheely get you down!

HeIlo? Montparnasse Tower?

I don't get it. I did it with two buckets before!

I'm reaIly sorry.

- Did you say something? - No, Mr Lanceval.

A greeting is considered civil.

HeIlo!

Moron.

I'm sorry?

Nothing.

I said, have a good trip...

in the Iift.

ChiIdren...

Zey are kummink up, Miss Laancevaal.

I'm sorry. They're coming up.

Good evening, uncIe.

WelI, weIl, welI...

I hear my aunt's ilI and won't be coming.

It's not serious?

That's a good bIue. You've done it right for once.

Now I'lI be Iate for dinner with Marie-JoeIle.

In fifteen minutes it's my second Pure Power class.

In fifteen minutes it's my second Pure Power class.

It's butt scuIpt tonight.

It's butt scuIpt tonight.

A bit more important than dinner, wouIdn't you say?

A bit more important than dinner, wouIdn't you say?

Don't start that or we'lI be here alI night

and it gets reaIly boring, your kids game.

Don't start that because it soon... and then...

goes on for ages... and afterwards...

it's a kids game. So stop that now.

Got your mother's proxy form?

Here, father.

Let's go straight to this semester's resuIts.

The figures, Stéphanie.

I'm a jerk.

This poo is deIicious.

You're a bit like a president.

Reception? Open up.

Hoping the heroics are over,

pIease return to your seats, put out your cigarettes and shut up.

Why did it do that?

- Did you touch something? - No.

If you must fire inside, avoid the windows.

If you want to make a noise,

do it with this.

This,

is for this.

What's going on? Something's wrong.

I hope Marie-JoeIle's on time for dinner.

Is it aIl right? Is it over?

Can we go home, pIease?

Something's wrong...

What are you doing? Are you crazy?

CaIm down!

Are you nuts?

Am l not studying Pure Power?

That means I'm trained to intervene.

There!

What shaIl we do?

What we'lI do is...

Rule one, weigh up the situation.

See what's going on.

By St Augustin, God of the Bee Gees...