black-ish

Dre: No matter how you grow up, summer is a season of change,

and this summer was no different for our family.

Junior moved on from his gap year...

Junior: What's good, NYC?

And was now out on his own...

What's good, Chi Town?

Managing social media for Migos.

What's good, Sam Peterson's Bar Mitzvah?

Jack and Diane were headed for 8th grade,

so they were finally done with those school uniforms

that made them look like tiny black missionaries.

Mm-hmm!

Ooh!

Looking good, Diane.

I didn't ask. Eh...

Sprinkle in a few earth-shaking life events...

Earthquake! Everybody up!

Babe, I'll get the kids! I'll get the kids!

I'm coming!

Babe, the Clippers signed Kawhi!

And Paul George!

Ah! Everybody up!

I'll get the emergency champagne!

This is our year!

This is our year!

Yep, the Johnson family was finally ready to settle down

after a crazy summer.

Pops: Ha-ha!

Great news, y'all!

I'm getting married.

Oh! My God.

What's that you say about getting married, now?

I'm getting married!

What are you talking about, you're getting married?

I didn't even know you were seeing anyone.

What are we, friends?

Mom, i-is Pops dying?

Mm, no, sweetheart. He's fine. Right?

Either way, I'm gonna need a black dress.

I'm fine.

Diane, Jack, I'm fine.

In fact, it's the best I've felt in years.

Well, congratulations, Earl.

Well, thank you, Ruby.

Mm. I had no idea you would react that way.

What are we, friends?

Now, who is this girl

whose life and credit you're about to ruin?

Her name is Lynette, and I gotta tell y'all...

she's the one.

And how do you know?

'Cause every time I see her,

Anita Baker's "Sweet Love" plays in my head and my heart.

Hmm. Do you also smell burnt toast?

Because that could be a stroke.

What's your con, old man? Hmm?

What is she?

The heiress to Tommy Bahama or something?

Better yet,

does she need one of your kidneys?

Better not. Those kidneys are mine.

It's the only thing I won in the divorce.

Thank you very much, Johnnie Cochran and Associates.

Huh. I know y'all got questions,

but you'll just have to wait 'til you meet Lynette

Friday at family dinner.

Ruby: Mm. Everybody be there.

Excuse me. I have to change.

I'm late for something called "tapas."

You know, it's great that he's finally found love.

What he found was a 25-year-old yoga instructor

with low self-esteem whose name is Love.

Dad, that's the best-case scenario.

It's probably one of those twins Zoey hangs out with.

Guys, Pops will be Pops.

All we have to do is get through this dinner.

Okay. Oh.

Baby. Yeah?

Can you make sure we have some Martinelli's in the house

just in case this girl is too young to drink?

Mm. She may not be old enough,

but if she's with Pops, she drinks.

Hey, Quavo.

Yeah, I'm home.

You know how I do.

Keeping it juicy.

Oh, sorry, Quavo.

Yeah, no, I'll catch you on the flip side. See you later.

Sorry, guys. That was one-third of the Migos.

The Quavo third.

But can we go back to how you're "keeping it juicy"?

And then never go back there again?

I like you guys. You keep me grounded.

So, it has been a hot minute.

How are things going in the real world?

Well, uh, here on Planet Earth,

we make sure people don't wear shirts

that make them look like the Kool-Aid Man.

Oh, you sweet, stupid baby.

Your little jabs...

you know, they don't hurt like they used to.

You know you're talking to Diane, right?

I'm cool, Jack.

You know, hanging with rappers,

it helps you to develop a thick skin.

Too bad your mustache didn't get the memo, Longhead.

See? Don't even feel it.

Shh.

Gotta take this.

Hey. Cardi B!

Yeah, Junior J. Here.

He is out of the house one summer,

and he thinks he can disrespect me? Mnh-mnh.

You got that Diane look like you're about to do a murder.

Go get my kit, Jack.

I don't think that seems...

Get my kit!

Oh. No need to... say anything else.

I hear your dad's getting married,

so I got him two tickets to Disneyland

for Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge.

Now, whether he takes me or I take his fiancée...

and it can happen if I focus...

someone's gonna be drinking some blue milk.

You're probably gonna have to take somebody else, Charlie.

I doubt my father's getting married.

Oh, no, Dre.

I owe Jabba too many credits to just be venturing alone

in the wild frontiers of Batuu.

Hey, there he is!

We, uh, we heard the news.

Old Sex Factory Johnson

snagged himself a young bride, huh? Mm-hmm.

And with no money, to an American woman.

I mean, the degree of difficulty... Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Wow! Okay, guys...

just calm down, alright?

As soon as she drags him to a Ty Dolla $ign concert,

it's over.

My pops is not the marrying type, alright?

He needs his freedom.

People can change.

Unh-unh. Not my pops, man.

Well, hey, maybe your dad just needed

the right circumstances to change, right?

L-Like after a breakup, where she changes her number

and... you change your body weight.

Stevens: Change can be hard...

unless we're talking about climate change,

which is not real, okay?

Summers are supposed to be hot, everybody!

I knew a guy who wouldn't change for anything.

Unless he got angry.

Then he'd rip his shirt off, turn green,

and wreck a city block.

Charlie, are you talking about the Incredible Hulk?

Absolutely not.

Talking about this drunk Irish guy.

Love Fitzy.

See, you gotta have your white friends, Dre.

It's all about balance.

I don't have to worry about any of that, alright?

Because the day my dad changes

is the day he starts feeding the homeless.

Outstanding, Dre.

N-Now that we have solved your problem,

we can move on to mine.

Connor is in Iran.

Not again.

Oh.

Those idiots could say all they wanted,

but after 45 years of life with Earl Johnson,

I know that man better than he knows himself.

Hey, Dre, Bow, this is Lynette.

Thi...

Lynette!

Hi!

Isn't she lovely?

Hold up, um... Huh?

So, Lynette's mama is also named Lynette?

Okay, stop it, sweetie. Oh, okay.

Oh, it is so great to finally meet you! Oh...

Look at this! Okay!

Alright. Oh!

Oh, my goodness!

I am so blessed.

He hasn't kissed me since "Motown 25"!

What the is going on here?!

As the night went on, the surprises kept coming.

There was Lynette, Lynette's grown-man son Doug,

and a Pops I'd never seen before.

He made her a plate. Yes.

You comfortable? Mm-hmm.

I have never seen that man

put anything on a plate for anybody.

That is so sweet.

Yeah, you would think that.

Oh, go away.

So, Lynette, you know, Pops has been real quiet

about this whirlwind romance you guys have.