The Other Guy

Oi, what even is the World Bank?

You know what - I don't think I have an account.

What's money, though? Like, it's...

It's pretty weird, when you think about it.

Mmm.

Oh, you got your tax return, did you?

Yeah.

It's not often I see four digits in my bank account.

- Ow! Bro. - That was bad.

You know, money's pretty much just credits in a video game

dished out by corporate criminals

in cahoots with the government. Fuckin' totally.

Nice one.

Nothing's real, though, is it? Like...

That's not real. That's not real.

It's all just the essence of a memory.

Fuck! We're getting robbed.

- We're getting robbed! - Calm down.

It's probably just a mum who's gotten lost

looking for a yoga studio - happens all the time.

Hey, Aaron.

Aaron...

Real estate.

Real estate? Is he hot?

- Oh, hide the drugs! - The drugs!

Come on! Shit.

- Jesus. Oh, fucking hell! - Sorry.

- Hey, Aaron! - We'll be up in a sec!

- We were just having some... - Yep, we're coming!

..smashed avocado.

And we were just discussing the...

..Dow Jones is on the rise.

Bro? You know Dow Jones is having a good week?

Why doesn't anybody answer their phone

or, you know, open their mail?

I thought you were all dead.

I've actually got some pretty mean blisters

from my work shoes.

You hear horror stories

about old people exploding in their homes.

It's like when you microwave spaghetti

and forget to put the lid on.

Anyway, the RTA has filed a request

to redistribute Henry Cowper's bond.

So may I assume the band is breaking up?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, Henry's out and I'm in.

Right. Well, if neither lease-holder

actually lives here,

then the owner will evict you immediately.

Yeah, but Liv lives here still.

- She's just... - She's at the markets.

She's buying roses and sourdough bread.

Uh-huh. Well, you'll have to supply

Henry's portion of the bond.

- Me? - Yeah, four weeks' rent.

Fine.

That's if Olivia Collins still lives here.

Hey, don't worry, Azzamatazz.

We'll get your bond. We'll get your forms.

We'll bring Liv along to prove it

and she'll bring you a pork and fennel sausage roll.

Look, guys, sorry, I can't be relaxed about this stuff.

This is how you get meth labs in your rentals.

- (DOOR CLOSES) - Eugh!

Worst day.

- Yeah. - Eugh.

- Eurgh. - Eurrrgh!

So why aren't you on the lease?

Uh, remember those lunchtime supermarket deli

- taste-testing tours? - Mmm.

Wasn't 'cause I hadn't tried ham before, alright?

- Zero dollars. - Eh.

Hey, that reminds me, um...

..can I borrow $1,200?

What happened to Miss Tax Return?

Term deposit.

And you know how the New World Order gets about redraws.

- (AJ LAUGHS) - Oh, my god.

Three bank statements? They're so nosy!

No, no, no, no, no. You are paying your own bond, Stevie.

It's been three weeks - you've spilt more beer on the floor

than beer in your mouth.

Oh, no.

Um...

..Henry has to sign this too.

FUCK!

Fuck.

Um... What is this?

Just trying to pay for my flight home.

- You want some punch? - Yes!

What, are you drinking sangria now?

- Cheers. - Is this sangria?

Oh, you are gonna love me.

Oh, it's weak.

See?

Get the fuck out of here! Are you serious?!

It was right at the back of the drawers behind the panelling.

I was gonna give it to you at The Point, but...

Mother's Day?

Fuck. Fuck! Sorry.

20 years. Jesus.

My mum gave me this watch just before she died.

Yeah, I know, you muppet. I used to think it was attached to you.

Oh, that's not for sale! Sorry.

Uh, so, anyway,

AJ needs you to pretend to still be his girlfriend

so the real estate agent thinks that you still live there.

- Fuck, Stevie! - What?

Hey, we should sell some shit. Make us some monnay!

It's not ideal, I know, but...

You just want me to sign a lease on a house

in a country in which I don't even live.

You know how much I hate moving!

The only thing worse is cleaning the oven

and when you move, you've gotta do both.

Uh, I wouldn't know.

All Aaron has to do is turn on the radio

to know you're single, AJ.

You talk about it constantly with your...

..oh, 600,000 closest friends!

Alright. Alright. It's not like we have to make out

in front of him or anything, OK?

Oh, OK, thanks. I'm glad.

Busy on Saturday, AJ - moving.

Maybe you should think about doing the same too.

Fuckin' hell.

How much are these slides?

Oh, they're 40 bucks. She's dreaming.

I don't get it!

She cheated on you. She owes us.

Ah, she'll come good.

Let's just worry about Henry.

Come on, I'll do it for you.

I kind of love the drama.

That'd make me as pathetic as him.

OK. Well, you need me, you call me, OK?

I'm off to the bank.

Hello, Stevie.

What have you done?

Hi, Mummy. Nothing.

What... I thought you said you'd quit.

I did! Three weeks.

I'm congratulating myself.

OK. Hey, so that money that I lent you,

um, something has come up.

Just give me a minute, darl.

Just going to the shops, are we?

Oh.

I suppose we...we could have a cup of tea first.

Fuck.

Well, you could have chosen a better day, darl,

to ask for money like that.

I lent you the money!

Don't borrow it off me if you don't think that...

Borrowing money off your own daughter now, Wilma?

- (BANG!) - Stop killing the moths, Glen!

You leave marks all over the cupboards.

She's banned herself from all the casinos.

If she can't get to the pokies, she goes online.

Why don't you tell Stevie how we had to cancel the internet?

$3,000 in one month.

She goes round to all the neighbours

and asks them for their wifi passwords.

What? Mum! Backpackers do that!

Oh, Christ.

I'm going to sweep the driveway.

- (BANG!) - These bloody pantry moths!

We've tried everything, Stevie.

Doesn't matter how many you kill,

you'll still find one in your cornflakes.

At what point do you just give up?

Get this thing out of the house.

It's like a slot machine in her pocket.

So, it's the first time that Sam and his man Richard

get to celebrate Mother's Day,

thanks to their beautiful daughter Violet.

But more importantly, it's the first time for you, Mrs Wu,

that you get to celebrate it as a grandma.

You must be excited!

You know, the last thing my father ever said to me

was "You will bring light into this world.

"And that light will continue to shine."

When I look at Violet, she's a jewel in our eyes.

Aww! Stop it, I'm gonna cry.

Alright, you are listening to Fade FM

- with Sam and AJ. - (MUSIC PLAYS)

That was a lie. He said, "Never marry a white man."

Oh! Savage.

Hey...my dad is not a white man.

Uh... - Who would have guessed?

Can we not do this, please?

AJ and Sam back with you on Fade FM.

And during that short break

Sam's mum has just revealed to us...

- No! - ..that...

..she would like to date a brown man.

That's not what she said! That's absolutely not what she said.

Yeah, she wants to date my dad.

Oh, nup!

If he's your father, I'm sure he's very good-looking.