The Other Guy

AJ.

AJ! AJ!

AJ!

Are you even listening to me, man?

Oh, fuck. I've missed my cue, eh?

I will, ah...I'll back-announce.

Are you serious? The show's over.

You just, like, mumbled for three hours.

Fuck, I'm a bit hungover, eh?

Dude, you've been hungover, like, every day

for the last three years.

Hungover AJ, he's got fun stories, he's fine.

But this, like you hitting your head on the microphone

'cause you're so fucking tired, 'cause you've been this wrecked

every day since you got back from Sri Lanka,

like I can't work with that.

Calm down!

In the '90s they were doing lines of coke in the bathroom.

I'm just trying to bring some life back in the station, cuz.

Something needs to change, AJ.

So I'll press the buttons tomorrow.

No, I mean, like, I can't keep doing this.

I don't want to keep doing this, alright?

Like, every day you find some new way to screw things up.

I'm moving to afternoons.

Yes!

I would love to... I'd love afternoons, yeah!

Have you been listening to anything I've said

in the last three minutes?

I need to stop running from my problems

using drugs and alcohol?

Fucking... No. OK, we have a meeting at 11:30 with Kelly,

and if you would like this to still be a thing

then you need to be there.

But I am fuckin'... I'm done.

Thanks a lot. Have a good day. Bye.

I've been chewing these for years.

My teeth are still no whiter.

I just want this one as well.

Fuck off.

Oi! Dezzy's in Underwater World.

- Excuse me, mister. - My coin jar's gone.

Well, I didn't steal it, if that's what you're thinking.

That's not what I'm thinking, alright,

but you have had a lot of friends around recently.

Oh, fuck, you can talk.

Do you know this house smells like different cheap perfume

every day?

Yeah, well, it is MY house...

- (MOBILE RINGS) - ..Stevie.

What is that supposed to mean?

It means you've got a pretty on-again, off-again relationship

with paying the rent.

I contribute in other ways.

I went and got us coffees the other day, didn't I?

Yeah, with coins from my coin jar.

- Answer your fuckin' phone! - Hmm?

AJ, fuck! You should've seen the squid I just seen.

It was so slinky, eh.

What?!

WHAT?

Jerk.

Heaps less clickers in Underwater World.

- Get back there. - Check ya.

Oh, 'sup, dolphins?

- Seen the bull shark yet? - Nuh.

- Fuck! - Yeah, there it is.

Oh, what a toothy cunt.

OK.

OK, so, you visited the pharmacy

in the Green Village shopping mall, is that correct?

Yes.

Olivia, explain out loud into this recording device

the items you were attempting to take from the store

when you were approached by security.

Some men's regrowth foam.

- And a forehead thermometer. - (POLICEMAN SNIFFS LOUDLY)

OK, dude, you gotta try nasal douching.

Alright, it sounds gross but it is so good for your sinuses.

Can you be quiet? This is recording.

And the third item?

No, I wasn't trying to steal that third item.

A Fertilitest home pregnancy test.

Don't, AJ, just...just don't, OK?

Four days and I'm out of here.

They're fuckin' dreaming if they think I'm going to court.

They can come find me in Ireland.

You're late?

Sri Lanka, yeah.

That was a dip.

Well, a dip is enough if there's stuff left on your thing

from when you last wanked.

Damn, I was bored that afternoon. Bored three times.

Listen, come to mine after work.

I want to be there when you do this.

It's my going-away thing tonight, AJ.

I don't care, alright? Duck out, make an excuse.

It's not going to take long.

Fuck!

AJ!

Oh, no, are you serious? I'm, like, 10 minutes late.

AJ, your absence said more than enough.

No, you don't understand. I need this.

No, you don't understand. She means everything to me.

So I need this job for her. 'Cause I can't risk this.

The station, they've put us on leave for two weeks

and I'm gonna come back to do arvos but it's just me.

What?

They're still looking for weekend shifts

so if you want to give up your Saturday nights

or any nights

but I'm sorry.

Cha! AJ!

Ha, AJ!

No, don't be like that!

AJ!

Yo, can you see me?

Or do bald dudes only see other bald dudes?

What?

You heard me.

Dog Murphy.

@DogMurphy, son.

Doggy with the good hair. You know who this is.

- What's goin' on there? - Fuck off.

Chill out, bruz, I'm just gammen'.

It's not funny, fuckhead, so shut the fuck up.

Bruz, what's your fuckin' problem, man?

You, you fat fuck!

Oh, fuck.

Hey. Yo.

Oi. (WHISTLES)

Hey. (LAUGHS)

What just happened?

Bruh, I knocked you the fuck out.

Man, that fat shit, you know, getting all mouthy.

I don't take that shit lightly, man.

I've got a history of heart disease in the family.

Where am I?

Shit, I thought you were cool.

I am cool. You just can't come to my work and make fun of me.

It's one thing to do it online.

Bruh, I'm just helping you fucking keep it real, man.

I don't need your help to keep it real, dickhead.

Clearly you do.

Bruh, I'm holdin' a fundraiser tonight, man.

Mum and the aunties are putting a feed on.

There'll be singin', dancin'.

You know, I figured if I drove here,

hit you up, explained everything,

you'd come back to Toorney with me

and host the night, you know? AJ, MC.

Are you fucking crazy?

Why would I help you? I fucking hate you!

I hate you!

You are a pest.

One of the lads killed himself last week, man.

Like, a good kid. Part of the community.

Now, his parents are struggling. We all are.

Maybe you should've been a better friend.

You're fucking ice-cold, man.

Ruthless.

Ruthless! That was dark.

It was like dark in your heart. Not anywhere else.

- What? - (SPITS)

Oh, shit!

Do you have a car?

I've got a Toyota Camry.

I, um, I fell off my skateboard.

Hold up. You're black?

So what happened this time?

Just some deadshit in the street.

Oh, come on.

When I first came here as a student...

..I'll tell you something.

They used to say some things to us

but you just put your head down

and you keep walking

because those people, they've got nothing to lose.

Yeah, well, I've lost everything, mate.

You should listen to him.

He is, like, actual black. Proper black.

I don't know what happened with you.

You must be adopted.

Liv, um...

- ..thinks she's pregnant. - What?

Nup. I can't trust her, man.

Oh, you can! You just don't.

No, nuh.

It is all drip feeding.

First it was a kiss and then it was once.

And now it's years.

- Just drip. - No.

Drip.

Drip.

It's impossible to avoid pain, AJ.

You have worked so hard to avoid it.

So hard that you're in more pain than ever.

Stop avoiding it.

Stop avoiding him.

Ah, I don't want to alarm you...