A Family Upside Down (Una famiglia sottosopra)

A FAMILY UPSIDE DOWN

"All happy families are alike,

each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way".

I didn't say that, Tolstoy did.

It means there's an infinite number of ways

families can make life hell for themselves.

For example, your family

might find itself on a roller coaster

that's dangerously similar to your own life.

First a slow, tiresome climb followed by a sudden,

sharp drop until the moment

the only thing you can think is,

"Please, let me get off!"

Off what, though?

And this is us.

Everything OK? Well...

Are we riding the Colorado Boat?

One moment, sweetheart, I don't feel so great.

I want to ride the Colorado Boat!

Sweetie, we've already done a lot, why don't we take a break?

I want to ride the Colorado Boat!

Let's ride the Colorado Boat!

My daughter Anna. Since it's her birthday,

she has decided she can double her usual dose of whims.

Let's go!

Leo, lose that joint.

My wife Margherita, who seems incapable of looking at me

without letting slip some heartfelt criticism.

It's a cigarette. Lose it, I said.

How does she notice every time?

My son Leo, who's probably so wasted

he doesn't even know where he is.

Because you stink like Amsterdam!

My daughter Alice,

the sweetest of legendary creatures:

Half teenager, half smartphone.

And my mother-in-law Rachele, who's... how can I put this?

Hey, what's the rush?

She's my mother-in-law.

Wait for me, please!

5 MINUTES

What's wrong? Nothing. Why?

Your face. Uh... the ride... Whatever.

Listen, when are you planning to assemble the bookcase?

What bookcase?

The one that's been sitting there

for two months waiting to be assembled.

You've had time, haven't you?

Are you rubbing it in that I'm unemployed?

No, absolutely not, I just want to understand

how come it hasn't... been assembled yet.

I told you, a couple of screws are missing.

Maybe, if you go to a screw shop, you'd find them.

You quit! It was your choice.

You really want to have this conversation here, now?

Mom, I'm thirsty.

I'll go get some water. Perfect.

Still... room temperature.

No, what water? Why not?

It's our turn. Five minutes to go.

Ali, please. We can't die of thirst.

That's enough! Stop it!

We're here to make your sister happy, not to drink water.

I'm going. Ali!

Excuse me, sorry.

Thank you.

No, sweetie...

Sorry, no. Forgive me,

it's your sister who's being difficult.

I'm just a little nervous.

Oh, it's our turn. See? Let's go.

Please, this way. Thank you.

Well? Let's wait for Alice.

We've been here for two hours.

Alice doesn't give a damn about the ride.

Look, sorry, can we wait one second for our daughter?

Ma'am, if everyone did that... Did what?

One second, she's coming. Ma'am, the line needs to move.

Please, let's get on this boat.

You go. On my own?

If you care so much.

Please, can we get into this log?

This log, as you call it, needs the whole family.

That's how it is.

Please, the line needs to move.

In the end, you find yourself alone inside a log

on a fake river, making a wish that everyone secretly makes,

but no one will admit...

Why is he riding alone?

The wish to get another family.

ARE YOU FREE ON MONDAY AT 5 P.M.?

Mom, can I get this? No.

Come on, please! I love it, and it's my birthday.

No, your birthday's tomorrow. It's hideous. Let me see.

It looks like us.

Please, Mom, it's beautiful.

Come on, Anna, put it back, it's ugly.

WHAT ABOUT DINNER? FOR A CHANGE...

YOU KNOW THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

Shall we go? Yes.

Hi.Hi.

Can I have a gin and tonic?

No, sorry, we don't serve alcohol.

You don't serve alcohol? We don't serve alcohol.

What do you serve?

Fruit juices, coffee, milkshakes.

Come on, gringo, you must have a beer back there somewhere, no?

For starters, my name's Paolo, not gringo,

As I said, I'm sorry, but we don't serve alcohol.

Milkshake?

Milkshake.

It's easy, sweetie.

If Giulia starts with 50 markers and ends up with 32,

how many markers did Luca take from Giulia?

A thousand?

What do you mean, a thousand?

Darling, can you put out that cigarette, please?

Close the window. It's freezing in here.

Sweetie... Mom's right.

Think about it carefully, take your time.

It's not difficult.

Come on. It's easy.

Leo, can you get the door? Why me?

Why not?

Who said it's always you who gets to decide?

Will you please open the door, Leo? Thank you.

Hello.

Hello.

Where have you been?

I went for a nice walk.

Yeah, a walk?

I ordered room service. It's pouring, didn't you notice?

Anna has to finish her homework first.

Homework you should've got her to do yesterday, by the way.

It's her birthday, she's in 2nd grade.

She could skip homework, perhaps?

Her birthday's tomorrow.

50 minus 32? 18.

Thank you. You're welcome, sweetheart.

I'm going to get changed.

What else do you have to do?

What are you hiding, Anna? Nothing.

Anna, what are you hiding?

Under your sweatshirt, what's that?

Really, I don't have anything.

Really, let me see.

Anna, did you steal this? What is it?

That's cute.

Did she steal it?

Yes. She wanted it at the souvenir shop,

I said no, and she stole it.

All right, Mom, calm down, it's a snow globe.

What are you talking about? All right. Alessandro!

Ale?

Your daughter stole a snow globe from a souvenir shop.

OK, DINNER IT IS. MONDAY EVENING

OLÉ!

What... What's wrong with you?

Leo. What's wrong? Did you smoke too much?

Mommy?

Leo, I'm here.

What is it?

You're not my mommy.

Mommy. Mommy.

Oh, God, it's a nightmare. Mommy?

Mommy?

Honey, I'm here.

We're both having a terrible nightmare.

Don't worry, go back to sleep.

Are you really my mommy?

Yes. I am.

Now close your eyes

and everything will be alright, you'll see.

I promise.

Mommy.

What is it, love?

Why do I smell like grass?

Because

in this nightmare you're a 14-year-old who smokes weed.