Last Breath

Storm Yulee continues its way across the UK,

prompting a rare red weather warning

from the Met Office for the strength of winds

battering the coast of eastern Scotland.

Hiya.

Hi.

They want me.

Tomorrow at Clipper Quay.

That's great.

Gives you a month without me getting in the way

-of all this stuff. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I'll probably have the whole place framed up

by the time you're back.

Good. I want video updates.

I want reports. I want to hear all about it.

Yeah. You'll get them.

Daily.

Don't worry. I'll be fine.

I know.

Just remember, it's, uh...

it's like going into space but it's underwater.

What's hilarious is you think I find that comforting.

Humans shouldn't be at the bottom of the North Sea.

I know. I know.

But it is pretty cool.

It's a good thing you're cute.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

-Cute? -Mm-hmm.

Your cute, cool diver boyfriend?

Husband? Fiancé?

Uh, Chris Lemons, one of the divers.

-Chris Lemons? -Yeah.

-Hey. -Hey.

-You all right, guys? -You all right, mate?

How's it going?

-Oh, morning, Craig. -Chris.

I'm just gonna find out about the job.

-I'll tell you later. -All right.

Duncan.

Hello, handsome.

What you got for me?

Well, I hear we got a new captain.

Oh, yeah? Let's hope this one doesn't cancel Christmas, eh?

Yeah, right?

-Nice to see you. -How's the house coming?

-You finish my room? -Yeah, it's going good.

I think we're gonna paint it pink.

Is that okay?

Or green or purple or...

Pink is actually... that's a beautiful color.

You know, a lot of people think it's feminine.

Where you going?

Just taking two bottles of hot sauce.

Okay.

Hey, Stu.

Seen how much helium they're loading on board?

Hmm. It's gonna be a deep one.

Deeper the better, I suppose.

That's 200 feet.

-Hey. -Huh?

-Morning, Chris. -Made the cut.

Yep! Easy there.

You all right, lads?

-How's it going? -Hi, Chris. Good to see you.

So you heard who's on board?

Who's that?

The Vulcan, diver one himself.

Oh, yeah?

I was starting to think he was just a myth.

Well, should be a fun sat if you're on his team.

Excited to get in there.

Yeah, I bet.

Okay.

You lot are gonna be living in our glamorous tin cans

for the next 28 days,

where you'll be pressurized down to 300 feet.

You're gonna be my hands on the seabed

replacing a section of pipeline.

Can't have the gas flow interrupted,

or people's homes will go cold this winter.

Once the job's done, you'll have four days decompression

when your hands can do whatever they want.

Okay. Team C: Nick, Alex and Paul.

Team B is Stu, Kirk and Brad.

Team A is Duncan, with Chris

and that bundle of joy there.

Right, I'm starting blowdown before departure.

Doors close in ten minutes, so get cracking.

David, it's Chris. Nice to meet you.

Just Dave.

Dave. Sorry.

Uh, looking forward to doing sat with you.

Yep. See you in there.

Yeah, see you in there.

-See you in there, Duncs. -Yeah.

Yeah. I see you made Chris feel nice and welcome.

How is the kid, anyway?

Solid.

He, uh, worked as a deckhand

for three years before he got the nod,

but then he did his first five dives with me,

and as we both know, I am the finest sat daddy around.

Good.

"Sat daddy"? Really?

That sounds strange coming out of your mouth.

As an old man, I find I'm a bottom-bunk guy,

you know, just in case Mother Nature calls.

Your, uh... your wife?

Uh, no. Fiancée.

Word of advice: Once that door closes,

everything outside is just a distraction.

Keep your focus where it needs to be, yeah?

Hey. Don't worry about him.

He's a grizzly when he's here, but, you know,

once he gets home, he's a real softie.

He's just daddy to his two little girls.

Christ, you got enough chocolate there?

Just enough for one a day.

Divers, are we good to lock the doors?

Team A standing by.

Team B standing by.

Team C standing by.

Doors closing now.

Doors closed. Stairs away.

96.4% helium. 3.6% oxygen.

Gas ratios confirmed.

I'm turning on the taps, boys.

Let's go for a ride.

I'll never get used to this.

What?

Here we find ourselves

at the bottom of the world.

You are now able to operate

at 300 feet below sea level,

where it will be pitch black and bloody cold.

And remember, should you step outside the chamber

prior to decompression,

the gas now saturating every cell in your body

will expand so rapidly

your vital organs will quite literally explode.

He says that every time.

How you feeling, Duncan?

Aces, amigo.

Aces.

Chris, Dave, you okay?

All right, I'm gonna get some rest.

I'll see you when we come on station.

Grub's up.

For God's sake, show some modesty.

Cover yourself.

Back in the day, though, you know,

when I was starting out, you only needed two things:

little common sense and a good bottle of Scotch.

Here we go.

It really was the Wild West.

Thank God it's not like that anymore.

Yeah.

I guess I'm the last of my kind.

Kind of a relic.

Which explains why they're putting me out to pasture.

What are you talking about?

Well, the company, in its infinite wisdom,

has decided 20 years is enough for me

and, uh, you know, this will be my last rotation.

Really? Wh-Why didn't you say something?

Because I don't want everybody making a fuss, you know,

before going in.

You okay? Is everything all right?

Yeah. You kidding?

It'll be great to have some free time.

You know, I'll take up golf.

But I did think that I had maybe ten more years left.

Or more.

If it's any consolation,

there's a high possibility that all of our jobs

will have been automated in ten years, so...

Oh, yeah, that does console me, Dave. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, I tried.

All right. I'm going to bed.

- Night. - Nighty night.

So this is our last sat together, then.

Yeah. I can't believe it, either.

Why don't you pull a Craig,

get in the hot seat, call the shots?

What?

No.

I-I am not management material.

And I don't think I could handle

watching you guys have all the fun.

Yeah, fair enough.

Hey. Look.

You are a great diver.

You don't need me around anymore.

Right, so the church holds 80 people

and the village hall next door 150.

So, as long as we un-invite half my cousins,

we should be fine.

What else?

Well, I'm looking really cute today.