Switched at Death

Everything okay?

Yeah, bad time?

Kind of, I'm crunching numbers.

Ooh, he just kicked.

Hey, I am just calling to see if you remember

what day it is today.

Of course, of course I know what day it is.

Ay, what day is it?

- Thursday. - It's Thursday.

Nice try, Gerry, it's Friday.

Asshole.

Where are you?

I'm at work.

It's 1:00 PM, what's up?

Hope that wasn't your boss.

I'm just going to a meeting.

What's going on?

Just reminding you about tonight.

Give me a little credit here Liz.

The only person who's given you more credit

than I have is Visa.

Gerry, you've missed every class so far.

Tonight is about transitioning.

I need you to be there.

I'll be there.

Say it again.

You read me the Riot Act last time, I won't be late.

I'm gonna be there.

Jesus, Liz, I'm going to be there.

I actually want to be there.

I don't see what your big deal is.

Mm.

Where is it?

It is, it is 130 Kent at 7:30.

But look, I gotta go

Try baby oil.

What?

The ink off your arm.

All right, where were we?

Read back the minutes.

Tonight marks the anniversary of one

of the highest profile gangland murders

in Canadian history.

30 years ago, Mafia kingpin Rocco Boitano

was killed by Sal the "Claw" Rossie,

nicknamed for the claw tattoo under his left arm.

Authorities say he used his trademark form of execution,

driving a claw hammer into the back of Mr. Boitano's head

as he and his wife exited a Montreal restaurant.

Sal disappeared and has been on the RCMP's

most wanted list ever since.

Now back to the hockey.

The Claw.

Man I want to be known by just one name.

Like Bono or Beyonce.

Yeah.

Douche bag.

Or douche bag.

Hope you already had kids.

Oh shit, kids.

Fuck, I turned my ringer off.

Someone spot me I gotta get a cab.

Car impounded again?

What about your tab?

I'll get you next time.

This time is the next time from last time.

Yep, douche bag is perfect.

Francois?

Oui.

Hop in.

Can I make another stop?

Yeah not a problem.

Come on.

Come on, Liz.

Hi you've reached Liz.

I can't come to the phone right now.

Please leave a message.

Three blocks straight ahead.

You got it.

Okay here right up here right up here.

Shit okay.

Go down the block, take a left.

Okay.

Yeah, right here, right here.

Here you go, man.

Have a good night, huh?

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It says you cancelled the ride, pal.

You owe me 19.50, man.

Keep the change.

Geez a 20, thanks asshole.

You shitting me.

Really?

Liz.

Liz come on, Liz.

Glad bags my ass.

Hello?

Hey Tommy I need to borrow a cell phone.

Nope.

What do you mean nope.

My dad says never open the door to strangers.

Well, I'm not a stranger.

It's Mr. Etrics it's me.

Especially you.

He says you are strange.

Well, your dad's an alcoholic.

Open the door, you little shit, come on.

Hey, Janet, me and Tommy, we're just...

Yeah, I heard.

Haha, lock that again.

Go put yourself to bed.

At least I have a bed loser.

Watch it mister, you'll get a timeout.

We should bring back spanking.

Hey, I need to borrow a phone.

It's an emergency.

I suppose if the alcoholic's not on it.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, it's like one day, two days, like a week tops.

It's dying of grease fire.

Gerry it's late.

You have to go.

It's a numbers game.

It's like sales, I had that guy.

I heard.

Two more calls.

- No. - One more call.

No.

I stay on your couch.

Two more calls, that's it.

Two minutes and you're outta here.

Gerry, your butt's out the door.

Two minutes, Gerry.

Okay.

You better have a frigging good reason

for calling this late.

Yeah, actually, your wife's a little tight tonight,

so I thought that...

I dunno why I called that guy.

You have to leave now, Gerry.

Oh, Jesus I thought this was Barbara's.

Your underwear's on backwards.

Nana.

Gerry, oh my.

What are you doing here at this hour with your garbage?

Well, Liz and I got into a small disagreement

and she locked me out.

I'm sorry to hear that dear.

What caused it this time?

I think I was a little inconsiderate.

I know that.

But what caused it this time?

Well.

I was a touch late for an appointment.

But you said that if I ever needed a place to stay.

Well, yes, but you know, it's awfully late now.

Well, she obviously didn't consider the time,

so I should put my stuff in the spare room or?

No, that's my sewing room now.

You could sleep on the couch for a couple

of nights if you need to, I suppose.

Where is it?

Well, there and Roosevelt's warming it for you.

Perfect.

That looks extremely comfortable.

It must be.

He never leaves that thing.

Well, I guess goodnight roomy.

Yes goodnight.

Really that's how things are gonna go.

Oh my go on scoot.

I'm late for work.

I'm late for work.

It's Saturday dear.

I think a little breakfast will make you feel better.

Jesus Christ I hate you.

He likes everyone Gerry.

I don't know why he peed on your clothes.

Everyone may I have your attention?

Excuse me may I have your attention?

This is Gerry, my grandson-in-law.

He's going to be staying with me for a couple of days.

Wow, that went well.

I agree, dear.

They really seem to like you.

Where's your bacon and eggs?

In the fridge, where are yours?

You serve them cold?

No on Sundays we serve them hot.

What's that?

Stewed prunes.

Ugh close your mouth.

Why do those old people always have their mouth open?

Why don't young people keep theirs shut?

What's that?

Oatmeal.

Where's the good stuff?