Death Among the Pines

But first here's One For The Road

with their brand new single Welcome to the World.

I like to go day trippin'

Yeah, I do it for fun.

It's like the calm before the storm or the setting

of the sun.

I get a little bit crazy,

whenever I lose control.

There's a burning in my heart, and a fire in my soul.

Who's there?

Look, my car's broken down.

I was looking to try and find the nearest village,

but I think I got lost.

It's two miles down the road.

Oh, look, it is freezing out here. I'm soaking.

Look, I, I just need to come in

and use your phone if that's all right.

We don't have a phone.

Look, look, the temperature's dropped. I'm freezing. Please.

I just need to come in and warm up.

Look, I'm sorry about the hour.

But I've nowhere else to go.

There's a phone box half a mile down the road.

Look, please. It's cold, it's dark.

I'll wet through. If I don't make it

to the phone box, I'm done for.

Look, please. I'm begging you. Just let me in so I can,

so I can try and warm up.

Come inside.

Really sorry about this, ehm.

Someone gave me directions and I think I

just took a wrong turn.

Let me fetch you a towel and some dry clothes.

I'm Angela.

Thanks Angela. I really appreciate this.

Your eh, your husband's not gonna mind, is he?

Help thy neighbour.

I'm pretty sure he said that to me before.

Stand by the radiator.

I'll be back soon with the clothes.

- Do you think they'll fit? - I have a few sizes.

You should be okay.

- This your husband? - Yes.

He's a big lad, ain't he?

Is he here?

Working.

Ah, so he'll be back.

Maybe.

He's not gonna come back and lose his rag, is he?

If he finds another man in his house.

Maybe I should worry about you losing your rag.

Me?

Your knuckles.

Oh yeah. I scraped them when I was trying to fix the car.

I was getting a bit desperate.

I'm no mechanic, that's for sure.

You get changed.

I'll grab some disinfectant. Okay.

You a nurse or something?

Not a nurse.

Ohh.

I'll get you cup of tea as well

You'll need warming up.

Have you warmed up yet?

Yeah. Thanks. I just need a pick me up.

How long were you walking?

Not that long.

You look like you've been lost in the mountains for three days.

You not got a telly?

No. Umm...

My husband hates them.

Dad didn't like them either.

Well, don't worry, you're not missing much.

How do you keep up to date with the news then?

Radio.

Ah, makes sense. Anything good on today?

Celtic won and the weather's terrible.

I know, right?

Oh, your knuckles.

What about them?

I, I forgot the disinfectant.

Oh, don't worry. My fingers haven't quite dropped off yet.

I'm sorry. I got distracted.

Not really used to visitors.

Eddie laughs at me.

Says I should try tuning into Earth now and then.

Well he doesn't know what he's talking about then.

What is it that our husband does?

Why do people always ask that?

It's always what the man does.

They always ask, what does your husband do?

It's never; What do you do?

Well, sorry, I didn't mean anything by it.

It's just what we're talking about him already so

He works at the docks and at sea.

Job to job. You know,

imagine he'll be down at the docks today,

playing poker.

Are you expecting him back at all?

You keep asking that.

He's not gonna come back

and find me with my legs wrapped around your face.

Fucking hell.

You've got a way with words, don't you?

Sorry. Sometimes I have no control over my mouth.

Eddie, when he first moved in,

he took me to the pub.

I told a joke.

It's pretty dark.

He never took me again.

Go on then. What was the joke?

A rabbi, a lawyer and a priest are on a sinking ship.

The rabbi says,

shouldn't we get the kids off first?

The lawyer says, nah fuck the kids.

The priest says;

You think we've got time for that?

Wow.

Told you it was dark.

Hmm, you did.

So you and your dark jokes don't get out much then?

It's alright.

Pub was shite anyway.

Just a bunch of old foggies staring at me.

Yeah. Well, I'm not surprised.

Why?

Well, they probably haven't seen a good looking woman

in about two decades.

You're hungry.

I'll warm you up some stew.

Would you like to catch up with the news?

Oh, eh do you mind if we don't actually?

I've got a bit of a headache.

Oh,

I have some aspirin if you'd like?

Yeah, sure.

Thanks.

You're a bit over-ripe.

You smell like you've done a week at sea.

Why don't you go wash up and I'll sort out your dinner.

It's gonna be a wet one this evening, folks

but to keep you rocking through the night

next up on heavy metal hour,

It's Clementine Nightmare with When Darkness Falls.

Fuck.

Alright?

You look better.

Oh, sorry. The wind and rain died down.

I just fancied a bit of music.

What's this?

Metal

Sounds like someone's trying to strangle a lawnmower.

It's not for everyone, I suppose.

Do you want to have it off?

Bit forward.

Oh no, I, I meant the the radio

Not a music fan then?

Yeah, I like a bit of rock and roll, metal's kinda heavy.

That'll explain the haircut.

Ohh?

Oh, you look like a greaser.

Like you'd probably roam the streets

of Glasgow in a hot rod and a leather jacket.

Sorry if I offended you.

- There you go. - Thanks.

God.

Does your wife not feed you?

I'm not married.

Divorced?

Nope. I'm free range.

How is it?

Mhmm, it's good. What's the texture?

Barley. Yeah, I like to use lots of barley.

We have a stream and some pines in our acreage too,

but we tend to leave the barley for the most part.

Would you like a whiskey?

Yeah, sure.

Thanks.

Did your husband buy you those?

Eddie?

No. He used to call it a waste of good money.

Well, I wouldn't call it a waste.

Flirting with married women

will get you into trouble, you know.

I wouldn't worry.

The rest of me gets me into enough trouble.

So your husband works at sea,

you own a field of barley, a house in the middle of nowhere

You don't like the telly.

You do like whiskey.

And your husband leaves you all on your lonesome.

And?

Oh, and you buy your own flowers.

Not for me.

For Charlie.