The Bad Orphan

9-1-1.

You're the owner? Chief Thorpe.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through.

- Thank you. - Any idea how it started?

Why don't you ask her?

- Your child? - Foster child.

I think she might have started it accidentally.

It was no accident!

That girl hates us!

She's a little girl.

That's what she looks like.

I don't know what she is.

- Morning. - Good morning.

- Hey, put a sweater on. - I'll be warm running.

- Well, are you running now? - Fine!

Oh, and keep practice short,

because the air quality is just below orange.

I don't want you ingesting all those toxins.

Mm-hmm. Yes, mom.

I'll be the healthiest girl on the team.

Probably in the school.

Maybe I'll never die.

Well, if that happened, I wouldn't hate it.

What are you doing today?

Uh, I have an open house at noon.

The Palmer house over on Sherman.

What do you have going on?

I'm working with Oliver in the den.

We gotta get our drawings in front of the city council

pretty quick.

Three other architectural firms

have already submitted bids.

Thank you.

- Hi, guys. - Hey.

- Hey, you ready? - Yeah.

Oh, honey, and just for my calendar,

what time is your track meet on Saturday?

Okay, mom, you don't need to come to every meet.

I...

It's at 2:00 pm, Mrs. Long.

Thank you, Derek.

I'm sorry.

Am I embarrassing you

in front of your friends at your track meets?

No, not at all, I think it's wonderful

the way you insist on witnessing every moment of my life.

Good. 'Cause I love it.

- Bye. Bye. - Bye.

It's scary how well she's turning out.

Where does that confidence come from?

I thought everybody under 18

was being destroyed by the Internet.

- Oh, my God. - What?

It's the adoption agency.

Hello.

Yes, this is Jessica Long.

Yes, we are more than ready to...

Yes.

No, I just, um...

Uh, sorry, we...

This is the fourth adoption we've had fall through

in three years, so I'm...

No, I don't, I don't think it's your fault, Maya, it...

Oh! I...

It may not be what you had in mind

but there's another possibility.

Everyone wants a baby,

and they are thin on the ground these days.

Would you be open to an eight-year-old girl

with special needs?

I mean, I know we've only talked about babies

but... an older girl needs love too.

Would we be able to meet her first?

Of course. How about tomorrow?

Talk it over. And...

Something to bear in mind.

You're both in your 40s.

Most birth mothers prefer to place their babies

with younger parents, and it's only gonna get worse.

The door you're waiting for may not open.

Uh, give us a few minutes. We'll call back.

- All right. - All right. Thank you.

Okay. I...

Okay.

We're not gonna get a baby.

We're not gonna get a baby.

And I think that maybe this girl could be

what we've been waiting for.

But it's two leaps, you know? It's just an older child

- and one with special needs. - I know. I know.

I just...

It's a risk.

Anytime you adopt, and I just...

You can't...

You can't solve every unknown before you commit.

You just can't.

Okay.

- I love you. I love you. Okay. - I love you too.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Oliver,

am I the kind of person that needs to

figure out every angle before I commit to anything?

Oh, yeah. Big time.

- Really? - Are you kidding?

You're Mr. Spock.

It's like, "Oliver, the odds of us selling this project

are 23.6 to one."

Look, some people run hot, some people not.

That's why I do all the pitches.

You analyze while I jump up and down.

Anyway, so w-w-what's this all about?

Well, you know, we've been trying to adopt a baby.

Today the agency suggested an eight-year-old child

with special needs.

Oh. Wha-what does Jess think?

You know Jess. She's been dreaming about

- a child in her arms. - Yeah, well...

Now maybe the dream comes true.

Yeah, well, what do you think?

Well, I'm right there with her wanting another child.

Ah, but she's ready to dive into the deep end

while you're checking the pool for issues?

You make me sound incredibly boring.

No, no, no, no, it's just that

you... look at things from another angle.

It's like, if Jess's first thought

is a little girl in her arms,

what's your first thought?

We need to start making the house accessible for her.

See, and that's why you guys make the perfect partners

for this adventure.

Mm.

Thank you so much for doing this.

Of course.

- Ooh, yes. - Oh, Lani, no.

- I know, I know. - Why?

If you don't want me to sneak them,

don't make them look so tempting.

How do you do it, Jess?

Well, everything from scratch.

No processed ingredients.

Never trust anything from a package. Okay.

How does Karl feel about adopting this girl?

Uh, he's open to it, but...

I mean, you know Karl.

He's got to write a dissertation

in his head first.

Jess, why is this so important to you?

You've done such a great job with Rhiannon.

But in a few years, she's gonna be going off to college,

and here you are, signing up for re-enlistment.

What about freedom, travel, exploring new things?

So, what, I should just take a cruise, learn French?

I mean, nothing is more important to me

than being a mother to a child who needs me

and protecting them in a world

that can be so dangerous in so many ways.

But they need to figure it out.

I mean, I can't think of anything

that's more important than that.

Okay, then I'm here for you.

Even if it's not what I would do.

I mean, look at this place.

The Palmers raised three kids here

and yet they're selling it

because they can't stand how empty it is.

Jess, I love how you make up things in your head.

They're selling this place so they can move to Carolina beach.

Okay, no... That is what they tell everybody.

- But I know the real agenda. - Mm.

No, no.

Spoken like a mom.

Hey! That's mine.

Did you get this from Mrs. Allashine's purse?

I thought you wanted a baby.

Does the idea bother you?

- Why would it bother me? - Well...

She'd take up a lot of our attention.

Okay, great. I need less attention than you're giving me.

Okay, but it doesn't bother me. Seriously.

You know, I always wanted brothers and sisters.

And I kind of like the idea of having a sister

I can get to know before I go away to college.

Oh, college.

Well, don't expect all your fantasies to come true.

'Cause only children envy kids with siblings

and kids with siblings think they're in hell.

- Oh, God. - Mm. Okay, Karl.

And the grass is always greener...

Well, sure, but we don't need to go

all the way to hell to make that point.

Please feel free to look forward to having a sister.

I think it's a good idea.

I mean, I thought you guys were gonna

have me changing diapers, so.

Well, here we are, complicating everything

and teen reactions are so simple.

How will this affect me?

I'm not complaining.