Mauler

Why? Why is it so difficult?

Mom.

You said you don't like it...

Ah! Ahh.

Mom! Mom!

Don't you feel bad.

They both had what was coming to 'em.

Understand?

Kitchen.

I always hated your mother.

Didn't make no bones about it, neither.

She was a first class gold digger bitch,

looking to get her hands on my family money.

She was unclean.

And your father

was just like his father.

Cursed with a soul as black as night.

But not you.

Not you.

You're my good boy.

You and me?

We have an understanding.

Sometimes

you gotta do the Devil's work to earn God's love.

The law's gonna come around asking questions.

I'm going to tell them that someone came into the house and did what was done.

I can lie just fine when I need to, but you?

You're just gonna lay low here for a while.

Maybe a long while.

I'll say you were taken.

It's my house anyway.

So you're just going to stay here and no one will be the wiser.

I'm gonna be your momma now.

And I'm going to raise you

to do what needs doing.

Now.

You repeat after me.

God is good.

God is good.

God is good.

God is good.

God is good.

God is the Alpha and the Omega.

God is the Alpha and the Omega.

And he anointed me.

He anointed me...

To serve

as the instrument of His will.

To serve as an instrument of His will.

A-fucking-men.

Here we are.

So this is the place?

This is the place, Jada.

Huh.

It's a nice neighborhood.

Looks like your intel is good, Stevo.

Intel? Okay, Marine Corps Barbie.

Okay, so your party info

got us past the gate and now...

The party is real, Jada.

It's just down the street.

The name I gave that security guard is also real.

It's just someone who's not actually going to the party.

And we came early when they change shifts on purpose.

Have you been paying any attention this whole time?

See, I'm a little drunk and a lot high.

So... no.

Yes, preach it girl.

You basically just grabbed us, like you always do,

said, “we're going on an adventure!” and then rattled off

something about a contest at some boujee house.

Yeah, I didn't get the whole contest thing.

- What, I didn't either! - Cut the blue wire...

Oh!

Hello? Good morning.

- Oh sorry. We're here? - Sleepy.

Yes. We're here.

And Stevo was just about to explain the contest!

Fine.

I'll explain for you sassy bitches one more time.

Language, bitch!

Okay, look.

There's a secret contest on the dark web.

If you can prove that you stay from dusk 'til dawn

in a house where a grisly murder happened

and survive...

You move onto another challenge.

And eventually the winner,

or winners, get $25,000.

I don't know about y'all but for 25K I will do all kinds of freaky shit.

Anything. Period.

- Yeah we know. - Yeah.

And this place scores 100 on the freak-o meter.

Look, all we have to do is send some photos and videos as evidence.

Are we down to make some easy money or what?

Wait. How did you even find this place?

Because, Jen. I am a goddamn genius.

Stevo? Genius?

How'd you find it, for real?

Hm?

I found out from someone who I know,

who is definitely not my father.

And who may or may not have recently been appointed as the main realtor

to oversee and sell this swank estate.

Who just happened to have the whole file of the entire history of this property

for the last 50 years.

Which I accidentally saw

when I opened it and studied every word for the last three days.

And you stole the key, motherfucker.

I borrowed the key, bitch.

While the man who is not my father

was sleeping with his new girlfriend.

Becky.

Who's a total fucking cunt by the way.

What happened in the house?

Oh, you want deets?

I got deets.

This is the Clay House.

Not only were a husband and wife brutally murdered here,

but the old lady who owned the place was some sort of

religious fanatic.

And she had a ton of guap.

Well, a couple of days ago, she was going to grab her mail

in the driveway, and she just drops dead.

She was the mom of the dead husband.

Back in the day.

She said some crazy fucker broke in

grabbed this sledgehammer from the garage

and just bashed the dad's head in.

And then he choked the missus.

Oh and

they had a kid.

Per the grandma, the whacko took him

and they never found the poor little shit again.

Damn.

That's actually really fucked up.

Language.

Wait wait wait. Hold on. Hold up, hold up.

So the grandma's dead.

This nice house is empty.

And all her stuff is still inside?

Yes, to everything you just said.

Who knows what this old brat has stashed away in here?

So you didn't bring us all the way out here

just to take some pictures and maybe try for a shot at 25K?

The 25K is just icing on the cake.

In the meantime, I've been promising you guys an adventure.

And this is a fucking adventure, guys.

No one's even going to know we were here.

Tomorrow they're going to come at 9am

and take everything away from the house.

That means we have one night to get in and take something for ourselves

and secure the bag.

See, that sounds

like one hell of a score for one night's work so...

I'm in with one line of coke and a bag of tortilla chips

because I get hungry.

Finally some excitement.

I am just...

I'm so sick of being bored.

This is a terrible fucking idea.

Jada. You can't go back to jail.

Who will mom kill if we get caught?

You. Yeah.

- Me? Me? - Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm supposed to be looking out for you.

Whoa, no one is going to jail.

We get in, do what we need to do and get out.

Easy.

I got this.

Jen, this is going to be so hot.

Sexy danger, sexy money.

Sexy me.

Come on.

If anything happens, we'll just take care of the boys like we always do.

- True. - I think you have that backwards.

Um.

Last time you and Stevo got in trouble

who was it that bailed you out?

I think it was, I think it was us?

- It was us! - It was us!

That's what I thought.

Yeah. You got nothing.

Why are we bringing them again?

Okay. You idiots do what you want.

I'm staying in the car.

That's good, because we might need a getaway driver.

What do you mean “getaway”?

We came in through a gate.

You want me to crash it?

Who am I?

Dominic Toretti from Fast and Furious.

Toretto.

Torett-o.

- Whatever. - Ow!

It's all good, Jen.

Once we're done, we're just going to roll out of here like nothing happened.

'Til then, we just stay low.

Get inside and we'll be fine.

See. Another Stevo master plan at work, Jen.