The Facility

At the roundabout, take the second exit.

You have arrived at your destination.

Where? Where's it? You have arrived at your destination.

This is nowhere. This is not my destination!

Are you lost?

Yes, I'm completely lost. I'm looking for a clinic.

Is it Limebrook? Yeah.

I'm going there, too.

Oh, um, do you want a lift?

Dr. Mansell to reception, please.

Dr. Mansell to reception, please.

No privacy in these places, hey? Shit.

Do you often spy on women getting changed?

Whenever I get the chance.

That's what attracts me to hospitals, the weak and the vulnerable.

You know how to make a good impression.

You like spying, too.

I take photos.

Of hospitals?

Of Whatever I like.

Bathrooms.

Some of the other volunteers have already arrived.

Hi.

And this is Where you'll be staying.

I'll let you get settled in.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Um, I need to ask a question, could I get the payment up front?

No, you'll be paid on completion.

No, it's just that I...

You won't need anything while you're here. Free food, free bed,

you may even get some ProSyntrex promotional goodies.

How do you do your boot?

Looks nice.

This'll do.

Good morning. Morning.

We've booked a suite with a sea view.

Welcome to Limebrook.

As you're all aware, this is a Phase 1 trial over a 14-day period.

Now the trial is a double-blind,

so we're all a little bit in the dark as to the nature of your treatment.

You'll each be administered 2 milligrams of a substance we'll be referring to as Pr09

with subsequent daily top-ups of 1 milligram.

Now, please, don't leave the building,

eat only and all of the food provided.

And please stay within the communal areas.

Get a good eight hours sleep every night.

No smoking. No drinking. Or any other medication.

No sex. No strenuous physical exercise.

This is like being in my ex-girlfriend's parents' house.

It's all in the directories provided,

and believe you me, you'll have plenty of time to read them, okay?

You're saying no sex.

Does that include masturbation?

No, I'm serious.

Why are we all the way out here?

It's easier to maintain a controlled environment away from the city.

We've found in the past that people like to sneak out at all hours for a kebab.

Solitary confinement, then?

Do you have Wi-Fi?

We'd prefer it if all the dialogue was kept within the clinic.

That's also why there's a phone amnesty, so...

But I need it for work. This is your work for the next two weeks.

You could use the phone in the dining room

between 8:00 am. And 8:00 pm.

Just dial 0-9 for an outside line.

Great. Oh, and...

I'll need a sample from each of you,

so wee now, or forever hold your peace.

We'll start with Jerome.

The big dog.

And the rest of you we'll be seeing you at hourly intervals.

And once you've filled out your forms, you can go and relax,

and wait to be called. Thank you.

Pr09, the drug to be issued.

This one? One signature, please.

Thank you.

Just bear with me. That's all right, take your time.

Yeah.

Just relax your arm. That is relaxed.

That's it, is it? Pr09?

Yeah, this is it.

So how old are you? Don't mind me asking.

19.

Bit young to be doing this, aren't you?

Hmm, dunno.

Haven't got anything else to do.

Is this your first time doing this? Yeah.

It's gonna be a long two weeks. I know.

I'm looking forward to it, it'll be like a holiday. A holiday?

You don't have to hide away in there, you know.

We've got two weeks together in this honeymoon suite.

Oh, no, no sorry,

I was just going to get changed.

Hey.

Hi. Hi.

How much do you know about this place?

I've heard about it.

Good reviews. Not Michelin star, though.

Get ready for 14 days of intense boredom.

Speak for yourself. Place seems pretty decked out.

You got pool table, computer games,

nurses...

All right?

And can I have the patient number? Thank you, Madeline.

Okay, it's 2500274135.

Thank you very much.

Over to you, Madeline.

I'm just going to listen to your heart.

Okay, just going to go under your top. Okay.

Sorry if my hands are cold. It's all right.

Right. Madeline, I am giving you one phial of Pr09.

Yep. Katherine Strong, number 128,

Uh-huh. Okay.

And 204, signed. That's all.

07. Nearly with you, Katie. Can you sign mine, and I'll sign yours.

How do you kill time in these places?

Pool tournament.

Come on.

Can't we settle in first?

Playing pool is settling in.

Arif to the treatment room.

Arif to the treatment room.

That's me.

Dose number 128-1013.

Is it... It's only supposed to be 2 milligrams, isn't it? That's correct.

That'll be 2 milligrams.

Can I have the time, please, Madeline?

It's 3:00.

Three o'clock.

Do you use like another clean syringe, or...

Yeah, that's afresh syringe, and a fresh needle,

and I'm just going to clean your arm, as well.

And Bob's your uncle.

Very good, that's all we need for now.

Okay, thanks. All right.

You heading back to the games room? Yeah.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Need a hand?

No, it's okay.

See you later on. Bye.

So you're a farmer's daughter, eh?

What makes you say that?

I can read the signs.

What's he on about?

That's pharma, as in pharmaceuticals.

It's just a term used amongst volunteering circle for female guinea pigs.

Oh. One who professionally sacrifices her young,

supple, perfectly-formed body

for the advancement of medical science.

Sure he needs a guinea pig.

When I get home I'm gonna buy two guinea pigs, and call them Joni and Morty.

Might even do tests on them.

Uh, I read somewhere once, that people in Peru actually eat guinea pigs.

You know, like, raw.

What?

You ever tried guinea pig? Tastes like chicken.

Carmen to the treatment room. Carmen to the treatment room.

Oh.

Smells like vodka. Does it?

Ooh. Mmm.

Do you want to hold that down,

might be a little bit of blood, but...

Get you a plaster.

- Is that it? - Yeah, that's all we need, thanks.

Do I get to go now? Yes, you do.

Yay. Thank you very much.

All right, see you shortly. Thank you.

Testing, testing.

This is so cool. I love retro technology.

They're not obsolete. Lots of people use them.

So what does your editor expect you to uncover?

It's for a series of articles called "The Last Resort."

I was gonna run pieces on call girls and drug dealers...

I'm honored.

Sorry.

I can't help you anyway.

Maybe At or Adam's your story.

Oy! I've got two shots.

Oh, yeah, we're playing that rule that...

Yeah, playing the actual rules of pool, mate. Keep up.

Yeah, I know, I thought...

Look, do you know the eight-ball rule?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I... No.

If I win before you've potted a ball,

you've got to run round the whole hospital naked.

Fuck off. I'm not kidding.

Derek to the treatment room.

Who the fuck is Derek?

Derek Paul Mortimer.

Could do with getting this up a bit more, you know.

Really? Or you could just sit up for now.

Oh. There you are. Sorted.

Last time, it was pretty normal.

Should be right round about 120 over 80, or something like that.

Let's have a look, shall we. Might vary depending on my diet, or stress sometimes.

Or depending on what kind of food you give us in here, you know.

Well, you're just about dead on, there. Bob on, eh.

Thanks then, Morty, that's all we need.

Is that it? Okay. Yeah, it is.

Thank you. And we'll see you next time.