Wrong Numbers

That was the Rosebud in Indiana.

I didn't know you had a Rosebud in Indiana.

That sounds like a business trip.

That's not supposed to.

No, I love it. What are you

thinking that we would do this?

We will want you to be there in

September. September.

And I'm glad that you came in for this.

Oh, yeah. It's an honor.

I'm going to wrap this up. Get the check.

No, no, no. I got it. I got this. This is

my treat. This has

been a wonderful treat.

Thank you for the wine recommendation, by

the way. It's fantastic.

I hate blind dates.

Excuse me?

Oh, I said I hate blind dates.

I'm sorry to hear that didn't go well.

That is an understatement.

That's too bad. You two

look like you're having fun.

You were watching us?

Not in a creepy way.

That's what you say.

I want to give you a break. I wasn't

exactly engaged here.

It was a business dinner,

and my mind may have wandered.

Well, I'm glad that

we could entertain you.

Oh, God, you weren't

listening to us, too, were you?

No, no, no. I couldn't hear

you at all, unfortunately.

So what happened? You didn't like him?

No, I did like him. I mean,

I liked him a lot, actually.

So what's the problem?

Oh, no. He didn't like me.

Come on, I find that hard to believe.

Well, that's because you don't have a

list of about 100

boys who have rejected you.

A hundred boys? Really?

You kept the list?

Well, it may not be like 100 exactly, but

yeah, it's getting pretty close.

Well, how'd you two meet?

We didn't meet. I told you

that. It was a blind date.

God, no.

Sorry. You didn't mean to offend you.

I just thought that's

how you meet nowadays.

Nowadays? Oh, God, what

are you, a hundred years old?

No. My roommate set us up. Well, my

roommate's boyfriend, actually.

I mean, that's what

makes us so humiliating.

And what do you mean?

They're probably

laughing about it right now.

I mean, he probably called them on his

way to the restaurant.

I think that's a little

paranoid, don't you think?

It's not paranoid if it's true.

God, I want something

sweet. Have you seen our waiter?

Um, you know what? It's

probably getting ready to go home.

Do you think I can still

order dessert and Irish coffee?

Um, probably. I mean,

it's probably worth a try.

Did you think our waiter was gay? I mean,

incidentally, because I

totally got that vibe.

I, I, maybe so.

Okay. I'm gonna go drag him

down. Did you want anything?

No, thanks.

Okay. Be right back. Do not go anywhere.

Wow. That was quick.

Yeah, he was on the phone

with his boyfriend, I think.

I didn't want him to, like, you know,

hang up on him or anything.

He was sweet about it, though. He said he

could put it on the same charge.

So, do you want anything? You sure?

Because it's on me. I mean, well, him.

No, no, thanks.

God, we should order, like, 50 desserts.

I like your style.

It's the least he can do, don't you

think? I mean, buy me

dessert and Irish coffee?

Absolutely.

Can I ask you something?

Sure. Go ahead.

How do I look?

What do you mean?

I mean, you know, the way that I'm

dressed, like, do I look good?

Um...

What? What's the matter?

I'm not really sure what to say.

Just be honest.

You look amazing.

Oh, God.

I know, right?

I mean, when I got dressed tonight, I

thought, "My God, this is it," you know?

Like, I look better than I've ever looked

and I'm ever going to look again.

I mean, everybody must

have a night like that, right?

A night where you reach the absolute apex

of your physical appearance.

You know, and so I thought, if this is

true, if this is the

summit of my youthful beauty,

then this night must

mean something, you know?

It must be a magical night, like, filled

with destiny, and then

maybe this blind date,

this boy would be someone special.

I mean, maybe even the person that I'd

marry and with whom I'd have

extraordinary children with.

Well...

What? You think I jinxed it?

It's a lot for a first date, you know?

You didn't say all that, did you?

God, no. I'm not stupid.

God, where is my

dessert? I'll be right back.

I mean, look at this thing.

You've got to help me with this.

Oh, wow.

Here, I got you a fork.

That does look good.

Mm-hmm.

All right, just a taste.

Oh, wow. That's really good.

Uh-huh.

Do you think I'm an ego maniac for

thinking that I'm so beautiful and

tonight must be a night of destiny?

What?

Come on, don't be so smug.

I think you're a romantic.

Mm-hmm.

And you. And there's

nothing wrong with that, but...

When you get to be my age, fewer and

fewer nights are remarkable and

destiny is only

discernible in retrospect.

I don't know what the hell that means.

Neither do I.

Hey, this is supposed to be

your key lime pie. Come on.

I guess I am romantic. I mean, if we

don't invest meaning in our

relationships, we're

no different than dogs.

Oh, I'm Emma, incidentally. I don't even

think I know your name.

I'm Jack.

But I'm not silly about it, you know. I

mean, romance. I mean, not more than most

girls. I have my fantasies, of course.

But, I mean, Andrew, for instance, he

worked as an auditor for

an accounting firm downtown.

Now, does that

occupation stir my loins?

No, not exactly, but I still like to

know. I still wanted to see him again.

Well, maybe he sensed that.

He sensed what?

That your loins weren't stirred.

Uh, but I liked him,

though. I liked him a lot.

So, what did you guys talk about?

Um, college mostly. He went to IU, and I

had a bunch of friends who

went there. Well, not so much.

Friends of people who

hated my guts in high school.

So, why did they hate your guts?

I don't know. You'd have to ask them.

Maybe because I'm so

beautiful, smart, and sexy.