House of Cards

Tell me it isn't true, Daddy!

It had to be done. It's in the past.

It's over. You understand that?

- (KNOCKING) - Yes?

I think everyone's here now. I've put Mrs. Harding in the garden room. Is that all right?

Anywhere that's convenient. I shall want to take her mind in private later.

- I rather thought you might. Shall we go down? - Hmm.

- Who is she? What's she doing here? - Her name is Sarah Harding.

I imagine she's just here to help, as we all are. Bringing her brains to the aid of the party.

- Has she got anything on under that dress? - Oh, for God's sake. I have no idea!

- You're here to talk about education. - Introduce me.

- She's here to work. - Who for? You, I suppose, you lucky sod.

- Our leader, actually. - Oh.

- I'll let him know you're interested. - Oh, Lord.

Mrs. Harding! I didn't expect to see you here.

It's quite a heavyweight gathering. Half the Cabinet, and their wives.

- Some of them are enormous, yes. - Look at them all.

Press barons, spin doctors, economists, professors. I got 10 minutes' notice!

- What's it all about? - He'll tell you, if he thinks you need to know.

- You don't know, either. - Excuse me.

- I've got everyone you asked for, FU. - Good. All our people.

- What's it about? - All in good time, Tim.

Thank you all for coming here this evening, some at very short notice.

You will all by now have read or seen.

His Majesty's speech to the Charities Commission.

Which was correctly interpreted as a direct criticism of this government and its policies.

I need hardly tell you how deeply this has wounded me personally,

to such an extent that I thought very seriously about tendering my resignation.

But I decided that to do so would be wrong.

We are His Majesty's government, but we are more than that.

We are the elected government of the British people

and our deepest responsibility is to them.

I now believe that my only honourable course in the face of this opposition

is to call a general election.

Go again to the people and say, "Here we stand. This is what we have done."

"And this is where we are going. Will you continue to give us your trust?"

Thank you. I feel greatly encouraged.

I will be taking soundings throughout this evening, beginning with the Inner Cabinet.

And I would like to emphasise that everything you've heard

and everything you hear at Chequers this weekend

is to be regarded as absolutely confidential.

Thank you all very much.

It'll leak. It's probably leaking already.

Half the people here are on a retainer from one ghastly rag or another.

That fool Gropeham, for instance. It's the only reason he was asked.

These days, a nice, controlled leak is the best way to announce anything.

Did you enjoy my little speech? My deep personal wound was a good touch.

I am extremely angry with His Majesty and I intend to do him harm.

I feel exhilarated.

Prospect of a fight, of course,

with the odds unfairly weighted in my favour.

Next to a small war, there's nothing quite like a general election

to stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood.

- Stamper wants to know the batting order. - I'm sure he does.

All right, he can be first. He'll sulk if he isn't.

Stamper, Stoker... Heatherington, Chalcott.

No one else to pad up at present.

May I make a suggestion, Francis?

- Of course. - It's about Stamper.

- Make him party chairman? - He'll want more later.

Don't you feel his thuggish skills are rather wasted in high office?

- Frightening people is Stamper's forte. - Hardly the point.

He'll want more and he'll think he deserves more.

He'll take what he's given. Stamper is loyal and he knows his place.

I think he aspires to yours one day. I think he sees himself as your successor.

Yes, perhaps he does.

It's strange. I can't imagine anyone taking my place.

Nobody could.

Party chairman?

- I was thinking Carling. - A loose cannon. There's no comparison.

Only you can deliver me a landslide.

Thank you, FU. It's good to have one's qualities appreciated.

I shall be honoured and delighted to serve as party chairman.

What is it, Tim? You know you're the right man.

I give you my word of honour. It shan't go unrewarded.

Do this right and you can have anything you want that's in my power to give you.

Tell me what you want, Tim.

Whatever you think is right for me, FU.

And don't worry, I'll sort this one out for you.

And we'll do it right. We'll kick the living shit out of them.

Thank you, Tim.

There have been rumors of a rift between Downing Street and the Palace,

following a speech by the King which appeared to be sharply critical of government policies.

An opinion poll for the "Times", to be published in tomorrow's edition,

indicates a broad range of support...

Sir?

Was it you who leaked my speech and Urquhart's censored version to the press?

- Yes, Sir. - After I expressly told you I couldn't authorise it?

Yes.

Well, I thought you should know... that I won't take any disciplinary action.

The country had a right to know how Urquhart was trying to muzzle me,

and I am very grateful, but don't make a habit of it.

I don't intend to, Sir.

On the other hand, don't be afraid to take the initiative when you... if you were to...

should you sense very strongly that that was what was needed, as it were.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean, Sir.

Um...

I thought we might follow up with something wide-ranging. Television?

- I think you should. - Well, let's take some soundings.

- Is David still here? - He went home early. A touch of flu.

Right, right. Thank you, Chloe.

I feel completely irresponsible.

I ought to go home for some clean shirts.

Wear mine.

I keep remembering things I should be doing. And I don't bloody well care.

That suits you, you know.

- We're going again next week. Come. - Where?

Japan. You'll love it. I'm amazed you've never been.

Look, five-day stopover. I can get you a cheapie ticket, upgrade you to first.

- Champagne all the way. I'll show you Japan. - Oh, I'd love to.

But... I think I've had as much sudden life change as I can cope with for the moment.

- You're not upset? - No. Just a thought.

- There'll be plenty of other chances. - Good.

I couldn't at the moment, anyway. Too much going on at work.

Really?

- I thought you were a civil servant. - Well, only in a sense.

I'm actually... press secretary and chief of staff at Buckingham Palace.

- Bloody hell! - Quite.

- Actually, I should be there now. - Well...

I'm very flattered, David.

I love you.

Oi! Oi! Come over 'ere! Come over 'ere, will ya?

- Do you want any business, mate? - I'm sorry? What?

Oh, no! It's the Old Bill!

- (KNOCKING) - Who is it?

Sarah, I am so sorry I've kept you waiting so long.

- I'm afraid it was unavoidable. - Yes, I can understand that.

But I'm not really very happy. I can't quite see why you got me down here at all.

I don't see why you make such a big point about how urgent it is that I abandon my plans

when you knew you wouldn't see me till midnight.

Sometimes I act on instinct, Sarah.

My instinct was that I might need your talents immediately, and I needed you available.

- What for? - Your intelligence, your expertise.

And your political acumen. What else?

I have been given the distinct impression this evening, not least by your wife.

That my presence here has more to do with my body!

- Oh? Really? - Yes! Really.

I mean, why all this bogus secrecy?

Why do you have to see me in my bedroom? Why not wherever you see everyone else?

Sometimes it's better if people get the wrong impression,

see you not as a political rival, but as something less threatening.

- Perhaps it appeals to your vanity, too? - Yes, perhaps it does.

I do find you a very attractive woman.

I find your cast of mind unusually attractive,

but I take very seriously what you said about your marriage.

And I have more important things in mind at the moment.

Now, how damaging would you say this new poll in the "Times" is,

and what can we do to counter it?

Uh... Well, it's very encouraging for the King.

But the questions were designed to elicit sympathetic answers.

"Has he a right to express an opinion? Is it time for a more caring Britain?"

Whereas, if you phrased it, "Should the King be allowed to intervene

"or interfere in party politics?" you'd get a very different response.

Suppose we ask, "Should we get the country into economic shape"

"before expensive public spending?"

There. We'd get a good result. Anything to do with strong leadership.

Does Britain need strong leadership? Is Francis Urquhart a strong leader?

I could deliver you a poll that says Francis Urquhart is the best man to lead us

and His Majesty should shut up and mind his own business. Nothing simpler.

Good. Very good. Set it up, will you?

We'll get it in one of the broadsheets. Stamper's going to tackle a few editors.

We should have a choice. No announcement of the election yet.

There will be rumors, of course. Get them jumping this way and that.

The King's the unknown quantity. I don't know what the man wants.

You'd think he'd be happy to wave from the balcony and keep his opinions quiet,

after all the nonsense his family have got up to.

God knows what he's doing.

- Perhaps he's just a man of principle. - I'm afraid you may be right.

But if he pursues the course he's embarked on, he'll destroy himself.

Would you really bring down the monarchy if you could, if you had to?

Bring down the monarchy? No.

The idea is abhorrent to me.

But to force the abdication of a particular king, that has been done before.

If the country's good required it of me, I wouldn't shrink from it.

I dare do all that may become a man, Sarah.

How would you assess my chances of success?

If I found it necessary to take that course.

- Do you think I'd get away with it? - You're seriously asking me?

I wouldn't be wasting your time or mine if I weren't serious, Sarah.

I think you could get away with anything if you put your mind to it.

Thank you, Sarah.

Certainly not! You quite misunderstand. The brain is not a sexual organ.

This government is founded on family values.

Besides... a prime minister simply doesn't have the time.

All I said was, if he's so remarkably incisive and bold, and I'm not trying to cast doubt on it,

it would just be a bit more illuminating

if you could remember one or two of the things that impressed you!

- Why are you being like this? - I'm not being like anything.

Since you don't find anything else worth talking about, I'm trying to take an interest.

I'm just trying to get on the wavelength.

I'm sure it is all very interesting. Tell me about it. Give me the inside dirt.

I can't. You must see that. It's all very, very confidential.

- I'm your husband! - And anybody could be listening!

Right. Stella Rimington's over there (!)

- Oh, don't be so stupid. - I don't like being called stupid.

I'm sorry. Look, why don't we just talk about something else?

What I find a bit irritating is your assumption of this insider-ish stance.

It's more than an assumption. It's a parade.

I would be perfectly happy to know nothing about your new job,

except you can't focus on anything but your thrilling new secrets