History Is Made at Night

- Well, how do you like her? - Oh, she's beautiful, Mr. Vail.

Do you consider her Atlantic trial run successful?

Oh, yes. Definitely.

When will she be ready for her maiden voyage?

Not for a few months yet.

Well, Mr. Vail, building this ship puts you in the top rank of shipowners.

Do you really think she can break the record?

Whenever I give the order.

- Congratulations, Mr. Vail. - Thank you.

By the way, how is the Princess Irene 's namesake?

Well, Mrs. Vail has a slight cold this afternoon.

She's remaining down below.

Excuse me, please.

- Oh, Skipper? - Yes, sir?

Look after the guests, will you? I'm going below to see if Mrs. Vail is better.

Very good, sir.

Oh, Mr. Vail, I think it only friendly to warn you

of a rumor that's going about London

of a little unpleasantness at the Anchor Club last night

involving you and Mrs. Vail.

- May I have the story? - There isn't any story.

Except that Mrs. Vail and I are sailing tonight for the Mediterranean.

Irene.

Irene did not get a divorce to marry another man.

Bruce, I'm certain there isn't another man.

It's becoming an obsession with you.

- No man is gonna take Irene away from me. - Oh, Bruce.

All I want from you is your assurance

that if everything comes off as I've planned it tonight,

Irene will not get her final decree.

Will she?

Bruce, as a respectable attorney, I cannot condone such a cheap trick.

Will she?

The English law provides

that if a divorce claimant remains blameless for six months,

the decree becomes absolute.

Thank you.

But don't do this to Irene. She is not the sort of woman to -

Does Michael understand his instructions for tonight?

Yes, Mr. Vail.

- I understand everything. - Hmm.

You'll enjoy this, won't you?

I need the money, Mr. Vail.

Well, good night, my friend.

You'll feel better in the morning.

And remember this.

You can't drink all the wine in Paris in one night.

It's practically impossible.

Hmm?

Right.

Who's that?

Don't be alarmed, madame. It's only me, Michael.

Michael, what are you doing here? What do you want?

You, madame. I am here to make love to you.

Get out of here.

Get out! Do you hear me?

Don't shout, madame. I hear you.

Michael, unlock that door this minute.

This minute!

Michael, give me that key.

I'm sorry, madame, but I'm only following instructions.

Your husband will be here in a moment and he expects to find you in my arms.

Michael. Oh, Michael, please.

I'll give you my pearls. They're worth ten times the amount he's paying you.

You will, Michael. Won't you?

Too late now.

Don't struggle. It won't be so distasteful.

No!

No noise or I shoot.

Get over there.

Come here, you. Give me those pearls.

- Oh, but... - Quiet!

Get your other jewels.

- Here. - Now.

Here.

Now get your coat.

Coat.

- Put it on. - Oh, but I -

- Shh! - Shh!

- Why did you do that? - I don't know what I'm doing.

Never mind. I do.

Especially with these gentlemen. Come on, turn around.

Go on, hurry up!

- Oh, please! - Shh.

- Do you mind if I do? - No.

Oh, I'm sorry. The clasp is bent.

There.

But why?

- Don't you want them? - But you're a thief.

- I beg your pardon. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

I was in the room next door.

I was putting a friend of mine to bed who had a little too much to drink.

I couldn't help but become very much interested

in that unusual little scene you were playing.

Oh!

The reason I kidnapped you was to return your jewels.

Oh.

Oh, but why did you take them?

Well, if I didn't make believe I was a thief,

my presence would have compromised you, I think, as much as your chauffeur's.

Oh.

- Oh, I'm awfully sorry. - I forgive you.

Where are you taking me?

Well, I would think you'd like to do a little thinking before you go back.

- We're just riding around. - Oh.

All I can seem to say is, "Oh".

Yes, I must think.

- Did you say something about a cigarette? - Uh-huh.

Thank you. Yes, I must think.

Have you thought?

Yes, but I don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Maybe a little drink would help.

- Where? - Leave it to me.

I know the best champagne in Paris.

Tonight, I don't care if it's the worst.

Driver, to the Château Bleu.

- It's still open. Come. - Oh, I love it.

- Oh, look! - Ah...

On...

Wait a moment. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, will you?

Cesare! You're not closing?

No, we are not closing. We are closed.

Cesare.

No, no, it's too late. I work too hard.

- I must go on home, because I can't - - Come, please, please.

Cesare, I want you to meet Miss, um... Miss America.

- From America. - How do you do?

- How do you do, Cesare? - Wait.

Now, tell Cesare what you've come to tell him.

- Uh, well, I - - No, no! I will tell him myself.

Cesare, everyone here knows that you are the greatest chef in Paris.

That is no news.

But would you believe that you were that famous in America?

Well, you are. Isn't he?

Uh, oh, yes!

Oh, yes! Didn't you know?

Why...

Why, you're even more famous in America than you are here.

Yes. Why, we always refer to you as the "Great Cesare".

The Great Genius.

We are open.

Maestro, will you come here, please?

We cannot play. We are too tired. Since 8:00 -

I wouldn't even think of asking you to play, Maestro.

Oh, no. I just want you to meet Miss America.

- Mademoiselle, pleasure. - I would not allow you to play, Maestro.

Oh, no, I have told madame too much about you. You must be at your best.

- Good night. - Good night, sir.

I'm only sorry you're leaving.

I wanted you all to join us in a little champagne party.

- Champagne? - Yes.

No, but you are too tired. You've been playing the whole evening.

No, poor fellows, since 8:00 at night. You know, they have to stay here...

What do you suppose madame would like, something speciale , eh?

Oh, some scrambled eggs -

What?

"Scrambled eggs".

I will order for madame.

But first, champagne for everyone.

For everyone?

Including yourself, Cesare. And make it Pink Cap '21.

Pink Cap. What a cute name.

And now, for the master's greatest dish:

lobster cardinale à la Cesare.

And after that, what do you think you get?

- I can't imagine. - Shall we tell her?

- The famous salad chiffonade. - Oh! Oh, my goodness.

And I will mix the dressing myself.

You will mix the dressing?

Hey, what's the matter? I am the best dressing mixer in all of Paris.

In the entire whole world.

I will mix the dressing me, myself.

I will still mix the dressing.

You will mix the dressing, eh?

I will mix the dressing!

Whoa!

- What's your name? - Paul.

- What's yours? - Irene.

- Hello. - How do you do?

Where do you come from in that big, beautiful America?

Kansas.

You are the first Kansas I've ever met.

Where do you live?

With a woman.

Um...

pretend I didn't ask, will you?

- Would you like to meet her? - No, no, I wouldn't.

Oh, but you must meet her. We have no secrets, Coco and I.

Coco?

May I present the woman I live with. Coco.

Hello, princess.

Oh!

Hello. Parlez-vous français?

Speak English!

Why don't you?

I do. In excellent English.

I hate men.

- Don't you? - Definitely.

Then why did you get married?