Teenage Bonnie and Klepto Clyde

POLICE COMMISSIONER PETER BAKER TOLD REPORTERS OF HIS PLAN

TO CRACK DOWN ON THE CITY'S RISING CRIME.

BAKER'S GET-TOUGH POLICY ROSE TO NEW HEIGHTS

WHEN HE MADE THIS REMARK...

I BELIEVE THAT CASUAL SHOPLIFTERS

SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT.

IN RESPONSE, THE MAYOR'S OFFICE--

HEY, HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?

WE'RE CLOSED.

BUTT-FACE, WE NEED FOOD!

WE'RE CLOSED.

LET US IN, OR WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS!

NO WAY, MAN. WE'RE CLOSED.

HEY, PAL!

WOO! BURGERS!

COME ON! HURRY! HURRY!

GET IN THERE! GET IN! WOO!

ONE SOLITARY FRIES, FOUR LARGE SHAKES,

TWO BLOODHOUND DOGS, A COUPLE JAILBIRD RINGS,

UH, SOME FELONY FRIES,

AND A, UH...

HOT CHERRY PAROLE PIE.

WOO!WOO!

I CAN'T SERVE YOU. I'M ALL SHUT DOWN.

DICKWEED, WE WANT FOOD. WE AIN'T LEAVIN' HERE HUNGRY.

KICK HIS SKINNY ASS!

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME, CREEP?

COME ON, KICK HIS ASS!

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

HIT HIM! HIT HIM!

CLYDE.

CLYDE.

OH HA HA HA!

CLYDE?

DID YOU EVER DRINK TOILET WATER? EW!

I THINK CLYDE NEEDS A SWIRLIE.

SWIRLIE! SWIRLIE!

SWIRLIE! SWIRLIE! SWIRLIE!

SWIRLIE! SWIRLIE!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

CLYDE HERE IS OUR CHEF.

YEAH. COOK IT UP.

TO THE GRILL, CLYDE.

TO THE GRILL, CLYDE.

YOU GOT A LIGHT?

UH, NO. SORRY.

OH, OH, WAIT.

WAIT.

AH!

AAH!

ALL RIGHT! CAT FIGHT!

WOO! CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!

AAH!

YEAH!

BREAK IT UP! HEY, BREAK IT UP!

I'M OUT OF HERE.

YO, BONNIE!

HEY, DUDES, WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

ALL RIGHT! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

LET'S MOTOR!

COME ON!

COME ON!

MOVE IT!

ROCK-'N'-ROLL!

YEAH! WOO!WOO!

ROCK-'N'-ROLL!

WOO!WOO!

CLYDE, ARE YOU UP YET?

YES!

BREAKFAST IS ON THE TABLE.

I'VE GOT TO RUN. SEE YOU LATER.

COMING.

I'M MEETING WITH THE MAYOR THIS AFTERNOON.

HE'S GIVING ME

YOUR LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION.

DAD, I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE.

WE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE.

YOUDISCUSSED IT. YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME.

THAT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO DISCUSS.

YOU'RE GOING TO COLLEGE, AND THAT'S THAT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

SO WHAT TIME ARE WE GOING TO SEE MOM?

I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE TIME TODAY.

IT'S HER BIRTHDAY.

I WAS THINKING

MAYBE WE COULD GO OUT THERE THIS WEEKEND.

I'LL HAVE THE CEMETERY

PUT OUT SOME FLOWERS TODAY.

HOW'S THAT?

YOU'RE GETTING TO LOOK

MORE AND MORE LIKE YOUR MOTHER EVERY DAY.

IN DOSTEYVSKY'S CRIME AND PUNISHMENT,

THE PROTAGONIST RASKOLNIKOV SEES HIMSELF

AS AN EXTRAORDINARY YOUNG MAN,

THUS GIVING HIM THE RIGHT TO COMMIT ANY CRIME.

IT IS THIS TWISTED THEORY OF THE EXISTENTIAL SUPERMAN

THAT IS THE BASE OF RASKOLNIKOV'S TRAGIC FLAW.

YEAH!WE'RE OUT OF HERE!

LET'S GO.

GOT A LIGHT?

OH, LET'S GO. BYE.

NICE LIGHTER.

NO.

IT'S YOURS, ISN'T IT?

NO. I DON'T SMOKE. I GOT SOMETHING OF YOURS.

THANKS.

SO WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

FUCK OFF.

THAT'S A FUNNY NAME.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

YOU TOOK MY LIGHTER. I'M IMPRESSED.

LET'S ROCK.

YOU DIDN'T SAY YOUR NAME.

LET GO, YOU GEEK.

YO, BONNIE, COME ON!

BONNIE.

PERFECT.

HEY, BONNIE, YOU WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE?

GET OUT OF HERE, CREEP!

WHAT?

BONNIE, WAIT! I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

WHO'S THE DORK?

DON'T KNOW.

BONNIE!

YOU TWO HOLD IT.

I SAW YOU LIFT THOSE TAPES.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW THIS GIRL.

I SAW YOU LIFT THOSE TAPES.

LAY OFF. LET GO.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

BONNIE! THERE YOU ARE.

ARE YOU BEING A BAD GIRL AGAIN?

MY SISTER HAS THIS PROBLEM.

IT'S AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE FAMILY.

HAVE TO WATCH HER.

I DON'T KNOW THIS GEEK.

BONNIE! IN ADDITION TO BEING A KLEPTOMANIAC,

SHE'S ALSO A COMPULSIVE LIAR.

SHUT UP, YOU ASSHOLE!

YOU GUYS THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER?

I'D BE HAPPY TO PAY FOR ANY DAMAGES.

GET OUT OF HERE. TAKE HER WITH YOU.

IF I SEE YOU TWO IN HERE AGAIN,

I'M CALLING THE COPS.