We Are All Trying Here (모두가 자신의 무가치함과 싸우고 있다)

WE ARE ALL TRYING HERE

HYOWON MANSION

Where do you live?

I'll scatter 500-won coins for you!

Where do you live?

A while back, one of my students wrote a story.

A girl had finally gotten a chance to go on a date with her long-time crush,

but she overslept and showed up late.

I lost it reading that.

I said to my student, "Hey, if it were me, I'd have gotten up at dawn to get ready."

"I wouldn't have been able to sleep."

"How could she oversleep on the day she was supposed to meet her crush?"

And you know what they said?

"When I feel loved,"

I feel at ease and sleep deeply,

"like I've never slept before."

I slept like a baby last night.

I SLEPT LIKE A BABY LAST NIGHT

DONG-MAN

What are you talking about?

As I said, I slept well last night.

Good for you for sleeping well.

I didn't sleep a wink.

Why?

I sent my screenplay to Eun-a,

but I haven't heard back yet.

I'm nervous.

Is it time for your features to vanish?

PRODUCER BYEON EUN-A

Hey, Eun-a's calling. I have to go.

Oh jeez.

Hello, Eun-a.

Director Lee.

It's a good read.

I'm so relieved.

I was really worried.

Eun-a, you're still at work, right?

Would you like to have dinner?

I already have plans tonight,

so I'll email you my notes.

How are you feeling these days?

These days?

I'm okay.

Doesn't it all show up in the data anyway?

Sometimes,

what the data shows doesn't match how participants say they feel.

Can you tell me how you're feeling right now?

- Excuse me? - How are you feeling right now?

I feel okay.

ANXIOUS

Ms. Byeon Eun-a.

This way, please.

I wanted to tell you something.

We've found another person who shares the same "unknown" emotion pattern as you.

Right here.

The emotional profile matches what you show when you get a nosebleed.

We've only detected it once, so we'll need to monitor it a bit more.

But in any case, there's someone else.

There's even an "unknown"?

Apparently, there are about 20 emotions

they haven't figured out what to call yet.

People who exhibit the same pattern get together to discuss

and decide what to call that emotion.

That sounds like fun.

I like coming up with names.

I hope "unknown" shows up on mine too.

When does "unknown" appear for you, Eun-a?

When I get nosebleeds.

When I feel overwhelming rage,

despair,

and helplessness beyond my control.

That's when I get nosebleeds.

Isn't that just high blood pressure?

I wonder what kind of emotion that is.

What do you want to call it?

"Self-destructive."

For some reason,

that sounds scarier than "hungry."

It shows "hungry" too?

It sure does.

But that's not even an emotion.

It doesn't seem so, right?

But it was the perfect word at the time.

That's when I was blown away.

Whoever named it "hungry" deserves a medal.

I was hurting badly, but even then, I was very impressed.

"Hungry"?

What a great name for it.

You see, I'm crazy about people who have a way with words.

My brother used to write poetry.

He'd always say there are two types of writers.

Those who've read the entire dictionary at least once and those who haven't.

My brother read it three times.

Wow.

He eventually created his own dictionary.

He was passionate about using words to find the truth.

What does he do now?

Well…

I guess

he's welding and drinking,

while still looking for the truth.

A wanted poster is better than a memorial photo.

So attack, don't self-destruct.

Attack.

Attack.

For as long as I can remember,

I've never seen people as just people.

I saw them as masses.

Masses of emotion.

Wow, I like that.

"Masses of emotion."

It's like a person isn't made of flesh and blood.

Instead, they're made from one emotion that keeps building over a lifetime.

I bet we can name everyone here

after an emotion.

- "Wary." - Right.

"Pretentious."

"Arrogant."

"Antsy."

"Resentful."

"Bored."

They really are

all masses of emotion.

There aren't many good masses of emotion.

I've always wondered

why people on the subway look so ugly.

But I guess it wasn't their faces.

It was their emotions that were ugly.

You know why kids are cute?

Because their emotions haven't formed yet.

I see.

Then what about me?

What kind of mass do I look like?

Just say the first thing that comes to mind.

Don't change it.

"Anxious."

You got me.

I'm anxious.

But isn't anxiety just part of human nature?

We exist as separate individuals,

so how can we not feel anxious?

My favorite word is

"serenity."

Calm and peaceful.

I've never felt it before,

but I have an idea of what it's like.

It's a very safe

and very warm feeling.

Like eating tangerines under a blanket in winter, while reading comic books,

but a million times better.

I'm freaking talkative, you see.

You know why?

Whenever I feel a rush of anxiety charging in all of a sudden,

I get loud and talk my head off

to chase it away.

I'm afraid of silence.

I'm afraid

the truth might pop out of nowhere in the silence.

Like boom.

What kind of truth?

When it's quiet…

I feel like a Gollum-like demon will appear…

And whisper in my ear.

You…

Are worthless.

"You…"

"Are worthless."

I don't usually watch

my own films.

Maybe "I can't" would be more accurate.

Because I think I did it all wrong.

But this time, the original novel was so good

that there was no way to get it wrong.

I thought, "I've finally made a film my daughter would be proud of."

Q&A SCREENING

Before being her mom, as an experienced actress,

I've always had that kind of thirst.

Mr. Choi invited us for drinks at Agit.

He says it's his treat.

The man is just ecstatic.

We hit a million in record time,

and now, he's already excited about hitting ten million.

You're coming, right?

I have plans at this restaurant I waited two months to get into.

I didn't think you were the type to wait like that, Mi-ran.

I'm serious when it comes to food.

Why don't we go for a drink? Mr. Choi will be waiting.

Don't say you're "serious" about something.

Just say, "I like food."

That sounds much more genuine.

Using trendy phrases and trying to be "hip," as you call it,

isn't hip at all.

Politicians and actors who lack their own style of expression

never last long.

- Let's have drinks some other time. - Yes, ma'am.

- I'll see you at home. - Take care.

- Good job. - Nice work, everyone.

Stop looking at your phone.

Are you that happy?

You can almost smell success in the numbers.