Cape Cod Cthulhu

How are you, crazy cult film...

Cult fans, man?

I'm Craig Muckler.

I'm King of the B movies.

I welcome you to yet another Polonia Brothers Entertainment

show fest.

I want you to sit down and enjoy this crazy fun film.

Maybe have a joint, or a beer, or pretend

I'm sitting right next to you.

As you know, I'm crazy, right?

After all, this inspired movie is by...

Inspired by Edgar Allen Poe and Lovecraft.

I was told I'm a reincarnation of them.

Certainly my films are.

It's like my cult, theatrical cult film

microwave massacre.

Well, this will be a thrill of a lifetime, this film.

Sit down.

Relax.

And if you don't like it, well it's not my fault.

Oh, and if you're really too afraid of this film,

you can turn it off and watch Microwave Massacre or Malibu.

High.

I will not tell the producers.

Eternal brew the shadows on the surround.

Dreaming of centuries that have gone before.

Great elms rise solemnly by slab and mound.

Arched high above a hidden world of yore.

Around all the scene a light of memory plays.

And dead leaves whisper of departed days.

Longing for sights and sounds that are more.

Lonely and sad a specter glides along aisles.

Where of old his living footsteps fell.

No common glance discerns him.

Though his song peals down through time.

With a mysterious spell.

Only the few whose sorcery secret know.

The spy amidst these tombs.

The shade of Poe.

Boo.

Lonely and sad, a specter glides along aisles.

Where of old his living footsteps fell.

No common glance discern him.

Though his song peals down through time.

With a mysterious spell.

Eternal brood, the shadow on this ground.

Dreaming of centuries that have gone before.

Great elms rise solemnly by slab and mound.

Arched high above a hidden world of yore.

Round all the scene a light of memory plays.

And dead leaves whisper of departed days.

Longing for sights and sounds.

That are no more.

Only the dew whose sorcery secret know

a spy amidst tombs.

The shadow of Poe.

So bottom line, Mark, it's a $3 million

budget.

The sequels to Spookies is box office gold.

If you want to direct, let me know.

$3 million.

I could make 300 movies for that much.

Oh, we just want to make one good movie.

Let me know what you think.

Will do, Frank.

Take care.

Hello.

Jesus Christ.

Scare people often?

Sorry.

Is this still a good Time.

Good time?

Why did you want to meet in the middle of nowhere?

I just wanted to make sure it was safe.

Safe from whom?

See, this is what I want to talk to you about.

You're a filmmaker, and I have a story for you

to make into a movie.

Look, sweetie.

Thanks for the offer, but I don't

finance other people's movies.

Why don't you go write a book or something?

Trust me, you're going to want to hear this pitch.

Does it have anything to do with the 1986 movie Spookies?

What?

Never mind.

Look, if you can pitch me your story

before I'm done with my emails, you have my attention.

It all began just a few weeks ago.

Good morning, Cape Cod.

It's spring break.

Do you know where your daughter is?

Crazy Kenny does.

Hey, that's me.

It's a beautiful, sunny, 87 degree beach

weather day in Cancun, Mexico.

While up here, it's brisk and 38 degrees in the shade

and even colder in the woman.

I see you met my wife.

Tonight's forecast will be dark, but right now the sun

is out and trying its best.

But hey, slow down.

Take a breath.

Keep the window rolled up and relax.

You're in Cape Cod now, baby.

I'll take the wheel.

You just keep listening.

And Crazy Kenny will get you where you want to go.

And hey, if you drive off the road, you are still on the Cape.

So where else other than somewhere warmer,

would you rather be?

Hey, we got the tunes.

We get the motion down by the ocean.

It's Crazy Kenny.

It's time to party, let loose and forget about your day job.

What job?

Sit back and enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me, Sarah.

What the fuck?

What?

It's winter, and this is nowhere south of the Rio Grande.

Levi, we agreed to this.

Everything here is half off.

And it's half dead too, Sarah.

Everybody left for a warmer place.

I like it, I mean, it's not the Catskills

where Dutch and Petey went, but it's good enough.

Exactly, plus, we're here to rehearse, not

get drunk and stupid like Dutch and Petey.

Speak for yourself.

You are watching Outer Cape News.

Good morning.

Morning, morning, morning.

Bless your soul.

Salutations and hello.

What a day we have, another beautiful day,

both spiritually and weather related.

For those who work in an office setting,

you will be pleased to know that mercury is

no longer in retrograde, whoo!

All electronic devices should be in order.

For those of you who rely on the temperature,

high 35, low 22, with the potential of light snow

this evening.

Wind gusts will be primarily in the air.

With more on today's forecast, we'll check back with you

later in the day.

Harbor.

Hey Coast Guard, all clear.

Hello world, and welcome to In My Footsteps podcast.

I am Christopher Setterlund, coming to you

from the vacation destination known

as Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

This week's show is going to be an excellent show.

It's going to be about famous authors who have

visited Cape Cod in the past.

But before we get into that, I've

got a special sponsor, Msfts Gym, trainer Caelen, or her gym.

Msfts in Yarmouthport, Massachusetts.

It's got classes for every body, training,

anything you could want.

Don't just fit in.

Belong at Msfts Gym.

Visit them.

You won't be sorry.

So let's get into this show.

Provincetown has had many, many visitors throughout the years,

but many don't know that two notorious New England authors

of the 19th and 20th centuries both visited there under very

strange circumstances.

We'll start in 1826 with Edgar Allen Poe.

He took a ferry from Boston to Land's End

for what he called an ongoing investigation.

He spent only a few days there, and very little

is known about what he did, what he was investigating.

Now let's move forward 100 years, HP Lovecraft, 1926.

He spent a few days in Provincetown that summer,

wandering the dunes.

He was seen on multiple occasions shopping,

taking strolls.

And much like Poe, it is said that Lovecraft was also

conducting his own research on another investigation.

Now, 100 years later, you've got to ask yourself,

what were they looking for?

This sucks.

I'm so unhappy.

What is it now?

I'm cold.

It's winter on Cape Cod.

What did you expect?

It's beautiful.

Take it all in.

It's cold.

Hey, I think I found something.

Look what I got!

Is it contagious?

What is that?

Weird.

Fitzi.

Let's celebrate inside where there's less wind chill