The Great Escaper

Two cappuccinos, two bacon sarnies, Mick.

Keep the change.

Funny, eh? Don't think I've ever seen you with cash in your hand.

- There he is! - Oi, oi!

What time do you call this?

What are you boys orderin'? Whoa!

- - Three. Three of everything, Mick!

You didn't wait for me coming up the dyke, did ya?

Cheers, mate.

Cup of tea and four sugars, please.

You've gained a bit of weight, Harold?

- -

All right, dear?

Yeah.

How you doin'?

Edith!

There you are.

Where did you think I'd be?

I hadn't seen you for days.

What?

I thought you were dead.

Morning, Bernie. Nice walk?

Hey, did you happen to see...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold your horses.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

Only I haven't got my face on.

- I've seen it without. - 1973.

It's not happening again.

He's only gone and gotten a big bar.

Ooh. He had a load of new gear in.

Black Forest gâteau, he's got.

We can't have that, of course, because it's German.

Oh, Bernie!

Well, if you wanna flog chocolate bars, don't start a bloody world war.

Okay, it's safe. You can come in.

Right. Soon as we've had some grub,

I'll take you for a spin along the front.

When we get back, we'll play a bit of whist,

and I think they've got a male stripper for you.

What?

I made that last bit up.

You all right?

No, I'm not.

I'm bloomin' old.

Oof!

- Here you go. - Oh! Thank you.

Bernie, what's that?

Oh, you've seen it?

It's Torremolinos.

Well, I know that.

What's it doing there?

It was a happy holiday. Do you remember the donkey?

His name was Pedro.

And he took a real shine to you.

His name was Manuel, the donkey.

Pedro was the owner.

And he it was who took a shine to me.

Ah!

Come in, unless you're bailiffs.

Did they put something in your tea in that caff this morning?

Hey, Rene. How you doin'?

Oh, very well, thank you, Judith.

Well, it's good timing. I've just made some tea. You want a cup?

Oh, I'd love one, Bernie, but we got an inspection.

Ooh.

You can't say I didn't make you an offer.

Now, what can we do you for?

I rang them straightaway.

I'm really sorry, Bernie.

We left it too late.

Left what? What are you on about?

The trip to the beaches. D-Day.

Bernie?

Well, I... I'm sorry. It's my fault.

I should've got more organized.

They do a very good show here.

I'll go there instead, eh?

Thank you for tryin'.

Yes, thank you, Judith. - No probs.

Bye. - See you later.

Right.

Brew.

Then beach, eh?

We're lucky to get a sunny day.

[BERNIE AND RENE CONTINUE CHATTING INDISTINCTLY]

- Oh! - Hello, love.

- You all right? - Fine.

I... I didn't disturb you, did I?

Oh, no, no.

- I was awake. - Oh.

Takin' me pills.

Oh, now what are you grabbing out of there?

No, I... I'm putting it back.

- Oh. - Yeah.

I'll do the rest in the morning.

Can't seem to, uh... settle.

I should have had a run.

Just go.

To France?

Why not?

Well, you can't. They make it up into one big trip.

That's the way they set it all up.

You can't do it on your own.

But you would.

I couldn't leave all on your own.

But I'm not on my own.

- I've got nurses around me all day-- - That... that's not the point.

Your health has not been great lately.

And now is no time for me to go charging off for an adventure.

Unless you have to.

That's okay.

Thank you. - Adele!

Bernie.

Early walk this morning?

Yes.

See you later.

Yeah. See ya later. Mmm...

Blimey!

Shut up.

This is the final call for the 8:15 sailing to Ouistreham.

All passengers, please, the 8:15. This is your final call.

P&O Ferries would like to extend a warm welcome

to all veterans and their families traveling to--

Are you lost, sir? Would you like a ride?

Oh, don't mind if I do.

I'm a veteran myself, actually, helping out for the weekend.

- Keeps me out of mischief. - Yeah.

So it is all right if I have a little look at your ticket?

Here you are.

So, wait, so you're standing the whole way?

- Yeah. - You don't have a seat?

I couldn't get a seat.

Well, in that case, I suggest you get hammered at the bar.

That's a good idea.

Yeah, get legless, like me! Oh?

Yeah, I trod on a mine in Helmand five years ago.

- What? You trod on a mine? - I've only had the new peg six months.

- Blimey! - Who were you with, by the way?

Royal Navy. Leading Seaman.

- Yeah. - Sparks. Bernard Jordan.

Jam? - Sorry?

Do you fancy a bit of jam?

Ooh, yes, please!

How are you gettin' on? With both of you being in here?

- You got enough space? Well, I have.

But then, I'm tidy.

Just look at the mess he's left down there.

Oh, thank you.

I still think he shouldn't have done it.

I have to be here because of the nursing,

but... he could've stayed in the house for a little bit longer.

He misses ya!

- Oh. - Well, he told me.

Mmm-hmm.

Where is he, anyway?

- Sorry? - Bernie?

Oh!

He's out.

Ooh, my! How delicious. Mmm.

Okay, that's you done.

- You've got your dosette box for later. - Uh-huh.

I... am out of here.

Okey-dokey.

See you later, Rene. - Bye for now.

- You all right there? - Yeah.

This way. Yes, thank you.

The ceremony is tomorrow and...

We're gonna hang out The washing on the Siegfried Line

If the Siegfried Line's still there

Mother dear, I'm writing you From somewhere in France

Hoping this finds you well

Sergeant says I'm doing fine A soldier and a half

Here's a song that we'll all sing It'll make laugh

Pa-ra-ra, pa-ra-ra Pa-ra-ra, pa-pa, pa-pa

We're gonna hang out The washing on the Siegfried Line

Have you any dirty washing Mother dear?

As we've nothing more to say, let's have one more round of applause

for Lizzy Lou, Annie Daisy and Lady Jane, The Candy Girls.

You all right?

I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

Man should be able to do... Well, certain things in... in peace.

I... I was worried. You... you seemed in a spot of bother.

No, no, I'm... I'm okay.

I ain't got me sea legs yet.

And I'm ex-Navy!

Sure. Arthur. Arthur Howard-Johnson.

It's a bit of a mouthful, I know.

Bernie. Bernie Jordan. Pleased to meet ya.

Would you like another? I was just going to the bar.

Unless you want to get out onto the deck, do you? With the rest?

Uh... no, no. No, thanks.