Robot Chicken: DC Comics Special

Robot Chicken, for one hundred episodes

they defiled every entertainment brand in the known universe

Now, their greatest challenge writing the cocktail

of the most iconic characters of all time, not counting Harry Potter

The DC comics superheroes

Some of them are super than others that guy just talks to fish

Hey!

This is the Robot Chicken DC Comics Special

Hashtag RCDC

- Oh boy, the invisible jet - Hurry up, Aquaman!

- Let's go, buddy - I'm coming!

Sike!

Last one at the party can't fly

He will be the last one at the party, because he can't fly

Fine, I'll just swim there

Silly punks

Batman owns the night now taste fear...

Wait, wait, what? Oh God!

Oh, my back just snapped like a pack of uncooked spaghetti!

You just walk up and break my back without saying a word

Booh!

Booh on you, sir

That's Bane

And now, "Real characters from the DC Universe"

Hi, I'm B'Dg

I'm a member of the Green Lantern core

Can you believe it folks? He really exists

Huh...

Do you guys want me to say anything or?

Tune in next time, for another edition of "Real characters from the DC Universe"

Lois, you helped me defeat general Zod, Superman too

But now, you know I'm Superman I have to kiss you and make you forget

Why would that be one of your super powers?

You should hear yourself sometimes, Lois

What, why am I standing here with Clark Kent

when I should be chasing the scoop on Superman

I should really use that power more often

My beautiful hair, I'll never forget how you took it from me Superman

Adventure comics n°271

- Oh really? - Superman!

I'll destroy you... what are you doing?

- I can't remember why I hate you - Oh yeah, I know

You might want to close your eyes

I run my fingers through your hair and I kiss you, bro

And you won't remember a thing

Don't trying run away

Another job well done

I should have thought this through

Oh, well

- Hey, how's it going? - Right, right, right

Oh, come on!

Welcome everyone to the grand opening of our newest exhibit

The Blue Star of Egypt

All right, people, we all know what's coming next

Let's see if we can at least make it through a round of hors d'oeuvres

before the first supervillain shows up

Apparently, there's a salmon bagel bite

Everyone, freeze!

Sorry to be so cold-hearted but Mr. Freeze is stealing that ice

I was not expecting paprika

A-plus effort, honestly

Everyone, chill out!

Or Captain Cold will put you on ice

- Come on! - I thought we had a schedule worked out

This is my day

I have a new assistant I'm still bringing him in

Everyone, stay cool!

It's about to get downright to bone-chillin' in here

Thanks to Icicle

I just walked into a cluster fuck

You guys, you have to try these salmon thingies

Focus, Captain Cold

Clearly there's not room for three cold-themed villains with freeze rays

I guess you two Snow Jobs will have to change gimmicks, then

It's not my gimmick, I'll literally die in warm temperatures

My cryogeneticly frozen wife is my entire reason of living

My name is Victor Fries, for God's sake

It's "Freeze", but you spell it "fries" like French fries, weird

- It's German - Well, I ain't changing, you dick

Everyone, freeze! Oh, for fuck's sake

- I completely forgot about Chillblaine - You and America, buddy

It took me six years of research to build my freeze ray

How do you high school dropouts keep making them?

Are they as easy to build as ham radios and I'm just an asshole?

Guys, we've demolished a lot of load-bearing walls in here

Well, those villains are going to the cooler thanks to Ice and her amazing freeze powers

Cool

I'm glad you guys could come all the way to Earth-C

Me and Captain Carrot didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things but...

no one deserves to die like that

I never met the Captain or his "Zoo Crew", but...

since you vouch for him, I'm glad to be here in their time of need

Why didn't you tell me they look like cartoons

Wait

I'm good

Dammit, sorry

If you can't keep it together you need to leave

I know, I know! For the love of... it's a turtle wearing goggles

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm... I'm sorry, its just... that... pig... looks so sad

I can't, I can't, I'm sorry, I can't!

- Your friend was very inappropriate - We're so sorry Little Cheese

Little Cheese

I just don't see how you could let it get this bad

It's the swamp thing baby you wouldn't understand

Bane broke my back

but years of training allowed me to heal in record time

Now, let's see what the joker... oh my god, no!

Like a string of firecrackers my fucking back

I felt the soles of my feet touch the back of my head on that one

That's Bane

And now, "Real characters from the DC Universe"

- Hey there, I'm Firestorm - Can you believe it, folks?

- Take a good look at this douche - I'm... Firestorm

The nuclear man I was in the Justice League

His hair is actually made of fire

Bet he blows through his comb budget pretty quickly

- But I'm really popular - We'll be back next time for...

"Real characters from the DC Universe"

- What are we doing here, Lantern - What's the matter?

You're a little rusty with the ladies?

If anyone's gonna score tonight it's the man of steel

Haven't you been courting Lois Lane for like fifteen years

- Do you ever score? - Watch and learn

Hey ladies, you look like you could use a non-threatening guy pal

who would never push your boundaries

And while you're at it, could you co-sign my loan for a late model Corolla?

Got a pen?

Not even I could get to the friend zone that fast

Class is in session, people soon as I get this suit off

Hold on there, money bags you gotta do it in costume

Yeah, that's the rules we all have to be in costume

What? I'm dressed like a giant bat

Well, fuck you guys, I'm getting wasted

Got a couple Piña Coladas here just for the ladies

Looks like you could use some just for men

And you bitches can pay for your own drinks

Name's Aquaman, I know how to talk to tuna

Martian Manhunter? What are you doing?

I have a life outside the team, you know

- You are the worst, you are the worst - Aquaman got manhunted

I'm outta here there's plenty of fish in the sea

Did he mean that metaphorically or...

I do not just call when I've been drinking

Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom

And this new plan will crush the Justice League once and for all

But more importantly, it's time to draw names, for secret Santa

- It's team building, people - Shake it up, shake it up

I got Leonard Snart who's Leonard Snart?

Is he the kid in the mail room with the B.O.?

Everyday I'm like, "I smell the mail coming!" and sure enough...

I'm Leonard Snart

How could I forget?

I think that kid's name is Glenn

Somebody is going to get a big surprise

A new rule this year everybody no exploding toys

I'm literally the only one affected by that rule

I still have a scar in my forehead from Christmas 2004, you dumb butthole

It's... it's how I express love

Has everyone drawn a name?

God, what smells like a turd lovers pizza?

Hey guys, we doin' secret Santa again this year?

Non noncommittal mumbling the gift that keeps on giving

I have a glandular condition, you guys

This is not my fault, you think I don't try? I shower everyday

I shower everyday

Learn more about Glenn and his battle against body odor

right after these commercial messages Ladies and Gentlemen

I don't know how to break this news in any way that make sense of it

so I'll just give you the facts as I have them

Glenn killed himself during the commercial break

My God, what was that?

I don't know but I'll find out Mr. Jordan

This is so cool

Not quite "Independence Day" cool, but much cooler than "Battle Los Angeles" cool

If Battle Los Angeles was zero cool and Independence Day was 10 cool

then this would be about a 7 cool

I am Abin Sur

It's a 9 cool

- From the Green Lantern... - Exposition Youpi!

- The ring, the cosmic ring... - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh

- Has chosen you as its new master - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh

Al Jordan

Last words spoken in its native tongue

We'll tragically never know what Al Jordan means in English

Watch this ring is glowing and seems to be taking over my body

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Ok, ok

Could you please stop screaming?

Thank you

You will be trained to use your ring by Kilowog

It's like scratching a chalkboard against another chalkboard

If you are attacked, the ring will respond to your thoughts and imagination to protect you

Begin

Cool, I dodged it, protect me, Selena Gomez

I meant weapons, you Poozer