Axes and Os

Katie.

Katie, come on.

Come on, we have to go, baby.

Come on.

Baby, we gotta get out of here.

Come on.

- Mm, what? - Are you ready?

I changed my mind.

Something came up.

Did you change your mind or did something come up?

Both.

I'm not ready.

Too bad because I'm already here.

Surprise.

I hate you.

Oh, I know,

which is why I came to torture you

with sunlight and a good time.

Leah, I just want to be miserable.

Why won't you let me be miserable?

Because I am not gonna let some two-timing limp dick

sorry excuse for a man

ruin my little cousin's Valentine's Day.

Cute.

Cute.

Ooh, that is sexy.

You have to wear that.

What?

What is this?

No, wait, stop.

Those don't match.

They're underwear.

They don't have to match.

And how did they get so wrinkly?

They do have to match.

No, they don't.

Liv, seriously, the underwear, they're so freaking

Give me that.

This sucks.

I know.

Wrinkly underwear are the worst.

No.

Just feeling like this over some stupid guy.

It's so annoying.

You deserve better.

I don't know...

Yes, you do.

And

you deserve an epic Galantine's weekend

at a luxurious cabin in the one, the only,

Valentine's Lake.

That's so cliche.

That is business marketing, ungrateful.

Oh.

All right.

Let's go.

We're outta here in five.

'Abby's waiting in the Jeep. - Five, I...

Abby, Jeep, five.

Let's go.

Hi, Mrs. Cooper.

Huh?

No, don't worry.

Abby and I are gonna have a great time.

Yes.

Yeah.

Abby's gonna have a great time.

Thank you.

Okay, you know we will.

Yes, I will.

Thank you.

Love you too.

Bye-bye.

Is that my mom calling you?

Just checking in.

Kill me now.

She's been through a lot in the past year, Abs.

Yeah.

Come on, Liv!

Coming, coming.

There you are.

Welcome.

What up, Liv?

So how's the boyfriend?

Abby.

Oh, that's right.

He's a dick.

Welcome to the club.

It's too soon, Abs.

Oh, but not too soon for an epic Galentine's weekend

at Valentine's Lake.

I bet she's feeling great about her love life

right about now.

Whatever.

Beats sitting around all weekend in wrinkly underwear.

Leah, my underwear is not wrinkly.

Don't worry, Olivia.

She checks out all of her underwear drawers.

She's a perv.

- Hey. - Check your email.

I just sent you something.

I got you,

Dawn, shake that ass.

Hey, hey.

My Valentines.

Yes.

Hurricane Dawn.

Exhausted already.

Coming down.

What the hell?

Oh, hey Olivia.

I didn't know you were gonna be here.

What, yes, you did.

I specifically told you this weekend is for her.

Are you sure?

That doesn't seem like something I'd forget.

Yes, I'm sure.

Hmm.

Doesn't ring a bell.

You think I'd remember something like that?

Well, do you remember the comment

that you made about the weekend's theme?

Oh wait, is this the Galentine's Weekend

at Valentine's Lake?

Yes, it is.

OMG.

So clever.

I mean, super cliche,

but never has it ever been done in the history of the world.

Bravo, Leah.

That's really funny because I remember you saying

something a little bit like that last time I told you.

Should we make T-shirts or something,

or how about printed shorts?

Check it out!

You can see the at sign on the butthole.

Ugh.

Whoo!

What?

You like 'em?

I can make a pair for you.

Uh, yeah, no thanks.

Are you sure,

'cause they might hide your wrinkly panties.

Leah, what the fuck?

- Road trip! - Whoo!

Treat for the festivities?

Margot.

What a surprise.

I see you have a renter this weekend.

I do.

Let me guess, a couple of ladies.

It is Valentine's weekend.

You know what that means.

Lots of roses and heart-shaped candy.

The Axeman is coming back.

That's crazy.

An urban legend?

Go ahead, say it.

Margot, it's a tragedy what happened to your daughter.

I'm truly sorry, I am.

But you've gotta forget this nonsense and move on.

Please, it's for the best.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I'll be watching.

Is this for our guests?

I'll make sure that they get it.

Hey, slow down.

How much farther?

We're not even halfway there yet.

Not the kind of exercise

I thought I'd be doing on Valentine's weekend.

Hailey.

Haley, where'd you go?

Hey.

Jesus.

Come look at this.

Whoa, nasty.

Is that a deer?

It's a doe?

Why's it all cut up and shit?

Oh shit.

Is that an axe?