The Naughty List of Mr. Scrooge

Hmm.

Weird.

What the...?

Is it blood? Ugh!

"Dear Mr. Scrooge, what will Franny Lang do

with all those brains, and so many things left unsaid

when come Christmas Eve she has no head."

What the fuck?

Ugh, God!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ew.

Hmm.

Hey, it's Tabby. Leave a message.

Tabby, it's Franny.

Sorry I've been a total flake. Like, work is beyond.

But, hey, I just got this weird gift tonight.

It's like memorabilia from Drake U.

You know, uh, like one of Glen's papers

and, like, other weird shit.

Oh, maybe Chandler's fucking with me, you know,

'cause I told her I wasn't gonna go to her stupid party.

Anyway

are you going to that? I mean, well...

And has any weird shit happened to you this week, or...?

Well, look, just, just call me back, okay?

Oh!

Hi, guys.

Hello!

Well, guys, eat up, because you're gonna get real hungry

when I'm in Palm Springs.

Yes, 1128 Lake Circle Drive. Please hurry.

There we go. There we go.

Okay, yes, yes. Okay, both of you lean. Yes!

I love the leg up. Okay!

I'm loving this right now.

We have not one, not two, but three sexy Santas.

Okay, ooh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Okay, really use both of them. Use both of them.

Yes!

Okay, okay, who's been naughty?

Me, I've been a naughty girl.

- I think we got it. - Great, thanks, guys.

All right.

- You wanna come look? - Yes! Let's see what we got.

Oh, my God, Tabbs.

These are so amazing.

I'm gonna have so much footage for the entire holiday season.

My agent and my followers are gonna love these.

Oh, good, good. I'm so happy, seriously

it was my pleasure.

Okay, so you have to let me pay you.

No, no, no, absolutely not.

Everything that you've done for us,

getting him signed with your agent and everything,

seriously, it-it's the least I could do.

Paying dues for your boyfriend...

Aww, what a kind and gentle giver you are.

Look, seriously, just please don't allow yourself

to get taken by the takers, okay?

You have to save some love for yourself, girl.

- Seriously, you look gorgeous. - Thank you.

Holiday happy hour over the hill.

Calling all sexy Santas.

- You in? - I am in.

Oh, gosh, he's not the brightest tool in the shed,

but he is the gift that keeps on giving.

- Uh-huh. - Girl, Merry Christmas

to you and to me.

- You have fun, okay? - I will.

- Bye. - Bye, I love you, girl.

Uh, hey, excuse me, what was it?

- Uh, Tabby? - Yeah.

You got a great eye and great eyes.

Has anyone ever told you that?

Hmm... actually, only my boyfriend has, but

you haven't even seen the pictures yet,

um, m-mister...?

Uh, Jonathan Rose, but you can just call me Jonny.

Oh, okay, Mr. Rose.

Maybe I could take you for a drink

and you could show me the photos.

Hmm, or maybe you could just take a look at them right here,

because I do have them all

right here, and I personally am a big fan of transparency.

Hmm.

You know what? I might take it back.

It's amateur hour, if I'm being honest.

Hmm.

- Who's being naughty now? - Hmm.

Look, maybe Chandler's fucking with me

'cause I told her I wasn't gonna go to her stupid party.

Anyway, are you going?

Or did any freaky shit happen to you this week at all?

Just call me back, okay?

Hi, you've reached Franny Lang.

I can't get to the phone right now, but leave a message

and I'll call you back.

Uh, so did she say what was inside the gift?

No, she just said that it was weird.

Is she going to the reunion thing your friends are having?

Hmm, I guess not.

I don't know, maybe I won't go either.

What? Why not?

I thought you were looking forward to seeing old friends.

No, I mean, honestly, I just

I wasn't really expecting Chandler

to actually like go through

with the whole dumb reunion thing.

We haven't seen each other since graduation.

Then shouldn't it be fun?

Yeah, I suppose it would be

about as fun for me as Christmas is for you.

Uff, whoa, okay.

I mean, that's not really fair.

I mean, my mom died giving birth to me before the Holidays

and yours is like a fun college reunion party.

I mean, can you really compare the two?

I'm sorry. It's just...

Yeah, the end of college was just, it was rough.

So I've been just kinda scared to go back.

- So I'll go with you then. - No, you, you won't have fun.

Sure I will.

Plus you're always there for me, so let me be there for you.

We'll go and face your fears together.

- It'll be an adventure. - Okay, fine.

And if it sucks, we can leave. No regrets.

Okay. No regrets.

And if it is fun, we get Scrooged.

Did you really just say that?

Hey, pulled the car around.

- You ready? - Yeah.

I almost forgot my Secret Scrooge gift

for the gift exchange.

Ooh. What's in there?

- Bah humbug. - Uhh...

Oh, my gosh. You really are a bah humbug.

He had it right. Christmas sucks.

Ooh, but I do love chocolate covered cherries.

Okay, well, that is actually part of the gift,

which you cannot have because everyone loves them,

so people are gonna be killing each other

over who gets to have them first.

A holiday bloodbath. Now that I can get into.

Oh, my gosh.

Wow! This is incredible.

Yeah, this house was built

at the turn of the 20th century.

It's been in her family for years.

Babe, you okay?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. - You don't look fine.

There's just something I kinda wanted to talk to you about.

There's something that happened back in college

with my-my boyfriend.

Whoa!

Is your ex-boyfriend gonna be here?

Um, no.

No, but it's just like I'll...

- Tabitha Banks? - Tabby.

You can call me Tabby.

- And you are? - Jonny. I'm Tabby's boyfriend.

We weren't expecting you.

Do I know you from somewhere?

Tabby, you came!

- Chandler! - Wow.

You have now changed to the perfect picture of innocence.

Oh, and you look amazing, as always.

I know. Can you believe I don't use any Botox or fillers?

Would you believe I sleep in a deep freezer at night?

Very therapeutic.

Mm-hmm. Who is this handsome devil?

- Oh, this is my boyfriend. - Jonny. It's nice to meet you.

Tabby finally has a boyfriend again. Wow!

Nice to meet you.

Well, thanks for hosting us.

This place is really cool.

Yeah, only Tabby didn't let me know she was bringing anyone.

Sorry, I probably should have told you

ahead of time that he was gonna be coming.

Guys, I'm totally kidding. The more the merrier.

No, the Crisp Family Chateau is your family chateau.

Oh, all right. I see you already met Marty.

He's our on-site house manager.

He can get you anything you need.

Marty, I think their bags are in the car.

Yes, and, uh, please make your way inside.

The wind is picking up.

We're expecting a bit of a ground blizzard.

Ground blizzard? What-what's that?

It's when a harsh, cold wind picks up all the snow

and blankets the ground with black ice.

Reminds me of when my mom comes to town.

Come on.

Oh, uh, I'm gonna grab our bags, okay?

Yeah. Okay, I'll meet you inside.

Wait, wait, wait. It's cold.

Tabbs, do you remember when we met as froshes at Gamma House?

Oh, my gosh, I do. How could I forget?

I think you said you wanted to give me a makeover

because I was, um, uh, too much like a-a-a freshman,