Impractical Jokers

Joe: First one of season 8.

Narrator: Coming up, what's got Joe jamming in traffic?

You know...

Will Sal unleash the beast?

Let the bad boy out that's in that bad-boy body of yours.

And which losing jokers will get trucked up

in tonight's double punishment?

Sal: Prepare for something amazing.

Hey, mustache, what's up?

Murr: Like a boss.

Sal: I will never forgive you!

Joe: Larry!

Get rowdy rowdy, nowty nowty.

Today we're on the streets of New York City

driving cabs for Brooklyn Radio Dispatcher.

While driving, we've got to do

and say what the other guys tell us.

And as always, if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.

It's cold now, so we're gonna go.

Sal: Well, you guys might be noticing something

a little different about your friend Joseph Gatto.

Yeah, see, he's got the slick new do.

It's a new do, y'all.

For years I have just quietly to myself

wondered where you were gonna go with your next haircut.

What's next. And you've done it.

You've pushed it to the side, and it's becoming.

You look like a mature dad.

I am a mature dad.

You're a dad.

Hello, Redina. Hi. How are you?

Hi. Good. How are you?

Joe, get tangled in that seatbelt, buddy.

So, I'll just lock 'er up.

Nope, sorry.

Okay, one minute -- one second. Hey. Got it.

Are you okay? Got it.

You got it.

You were thinking...

Joe, we put a harmonica in the car.

Just start playing the harmonica while she's on the phone.

So you'd rather do the -- you'd rather do the 150 one?

Yeah, that's what I was saying.

It's more like, kind of like a mellow, upstairs...

I can talk to him.

But downstairs, it's like -- you need, like, a ladder...

Sal: Start getting more obnoxious with it.

...you know? Versus upstairs you can have,

like, 50 people and it'll feel like...

How is she not acknowledging him?

Joe, drop some bad news on her.

My cousin has an ovarian cyst.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Joe start doing it really soft.

Yeah, that's how you breathe.

You look so sad.

"Am I crazy, or are we moving right now?"

Am I crazy, or are we moving right now?

What?

Oh, wait, so this isn't your car?

I'm the driver, yeah.

Oh, but the license says it's someone else.

Oh, that -- no, that's me. This is you?

Yeah, Al Pollard.

I took that picture in the summer.

Joe: Murr, you may realize that there's a speed bag

hanging from your rear-view mirror.

I noticed the speed bag.

That's so you can get your punches in.

Matt? Yeah.

Hey, man. James. How are you?

Good. How are you?

"So you're from New Hampshire, right?"

You're from, uh, New Hampshire?

No, I'm actually -- I'm from Canada.

Punch the bag.

Hey, Murr, pull over and run into that store.

Would you mind if I run in for one second

to grab my thing from right there?

Oh, absolutely, yeah. Thank you, bud.

I'll be right there. Yeah, no worries.

Joe: We put a lot of stuff in this store front.

Just grab all of it and start putting it

in the back seat with this guy.

Okay.

Do you mind?

I'm sorry, bud. Yeah, no, no problem.

Murr: Do you mind? I'm just -- toss it right over you.

Yeah. Just toss everything.

Thank you so much, buddy.

Just get it, right? Thank you so much.

I'm going camping.

Two sleeping bags,

and just the bowling balls just right there.

Where are you guys going camping?

We're heading -- uh... "Brooklyn. Brooklyn."

B-Brooklyn.

We're heading near... Brooklyn.

"One of my favorite animals are up there in Canada."

One of my favorite animals is up in Canada, actually.

"The big antlers, and, uh..."

The big antlers -- what are they called?

The, um...

Uh, moose? "Goose, goose."

Goose, goose. "Yeah, Canadian goose."

Canadian geese. Canadian geese.

Joe: "No, moose, moose."

No, wait, moose!

Moose, yeah. Yeah, moose.

Offer him some.

You want some? No, I'm good, thanks.

"Is it 'cause of my lips?"

Is it -- Is it 'cause of my lips?

My lips -- it's my lips...

No, it's not that.

Murr, there's our our friend on the street there, Adam Shuty.

Doesn't he owe you money?

Get out, punch him in the face, and get back in the car.

Give me one sec, bud.

This guy owes me money.

Just keep an -- keep an eye on me.

One sec.

Hey.

Sal: Oh, my God!

He clocked Shuty!

Sal: No, no.

Look at Shuty!

"Hey, let me ask you something."

Hey, let me ask you a -- a question.

Yeah. "If you went camping..."

If you went camping, right?

"...and when you woke up..."

...and when you woke up...

"...your camping buddy was in the same sleeping bag..."

...your camping buddy was in the same sleeping bag as you...

"...and he was kind of stroking your head

and kissing your ear..." ...and was, like,

stroking your hair and kissing you, right...

"...would you tell anybody?"

...would you tell anybody?

I don't know. Yeah, probably not.

"Hey, you want to go camping?"

That's it? No?

Man: Here you go, buddy.

Hey, how you doing, bud?

Hey, dude. What's going on?

Murr: Q, in the front seat, we, uh --

we put a little prop for you.

Can you, uh, put it on your right wrist, please?

Uh, what, did you go see a movie?

I live in Manhattan. Oh.

I moved there in '86.

I mean, I'm 50, okay?

It's like -- You're 50?

I'll be 50 tomorrow.

Fist bump him. Fist bump him.

Nice. Happy birthday, bro! Thank you.

"Do you mind if I rock out to Smash Mouth?"

Do you want to, uh, rock out to some Smash Mouth?

Smash Mouth? The band? Seriously?

All right.

"So, I've been having this reoccurring nightmare

about Pat Sajak..."

Murr: From "Wheel of Fortune"?

I've been, uh...

I've been having this reoccurring nightmare about,

uh, Pat Sajak...

In -- In what -- In what sense?

Well, I'm there on the show, I do well,

and then he starts stalking me.

Like, I go to the movies,

Pat Sajak is two rows in front of me laughing like a maniac.

"And he keeps telling me, 'Solve the puzzle, bitch.'"

And he keeps looking me in the eyes and whispering to me

and saying, "Solve the puzzle, bitch."

So now I only watch "Jeopardy!"

Murr: "Head's up, by the way.

There's a -- a spider nest in the back seat."

You're not one of those silly guys that,

like, are terrified of spiders, right?

No.

There was, like, a -- they found a nest in the back seat,

a spider's nest.

It's a spider. Step on it.

Then you'd have to hear from all the spiders.

You know, 'cause you can communicate with them, so...

Then I'd have to hear it.

From all the spiders.

Which I can communicate with.

All right, man, thank you so much.

Cool, thanks. It was nice working with you.

Murr: Well done, Q.

Sal, do me a favor.