Impractical Jokers

Warning, the following program contains scenes

Of graphic stupidity among four lifelong friends

Who compete to embarrass each other.

Narrator: Coming up, what's got joe talking trash?

Let's go, you absolute pieces of garbage!

Does murr have an unbridled past?

I used to be a wild stallion.

And which losing joker will have to play it by ear

In tonight's punishment?

What?

Sal: Prepare for something amazing.

Hey, mustache, what's up?

Murr: Like a boss!

Sal: I will never forgive you!

Joe: Larry!

I kidnap squirrels in my neighborhood.

Today, we're at topgolf,

Posing as actors shooting a role in their newest commercial.

The catch is, it's not a real commercial.

It's just an excuse to pair us with another actor

Who thinks it's a real commercial.

The goal is to do and say

Whatever you're told by the other guys.

If you refuse,

You'll never work in this industry again.

Basically, we're just gonna get some b-roll.

We have some food. We're gonna maybe take some shots.

Our producer, jay miller will be playing

The role of the director today.

I'll go first. There you go.

Just scream right before you swing,

"let's go, you pieces of human garbage!"

Okay, here we go. You ready?

I'm ready. Let go.

Jay: And action.

Let's go, you absolute pieces of garbage!

Uh, cut.

Joe, who exactly are you yelling to?

The pieces of garbage. The pieces of garbage.

You could see how it's odd.

Agree to disagree. Yeah.

I'm gonna give you a line and you'll deliver it to joe.

Be like, "I'm having the best time.

Topgolf."

Joe, mouth the words as he says them.

Okay, here we go. And action.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

Alright, cut. Cut.

Were you mouthing the words while he was saying it?

Was I? Yeah.

Uh-huh. Oh, I was?

I'm so into it.

Joe, pinch your right nipple as hard as you can

In order to not say something.

Do it again. And action.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

Slap yourself to keep serious.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

Keep going till you feel like we got a good one.

You know, I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

You know, I'm having the best time. Topgolf. Murr: Pinch your nipple. Slap yourself.

Chew on some chips.

You know, I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

Alright, cut. Cut.

Yeah, so you guys ready?

Just beat the crap out of your own balls.

Right. Here we go. Action.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

Joe, do whatever you got to do to keep a straight face.

And action.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

I'm having the best time. Topgolf.

Alright, that's a wrap. We got it!

Oh, god. Thank god.

My nards.

Keith, right?

James. James.

I'm just gonna see. We're just gonna get loose.

If you guys want to get -- loose up a little bit.

Legit critique his look from head to toe.

What are you looking at, murr? What are you looking at, buddy?

Keith. James.

Talk to me about the choices that have been --

Are you gonna tidy up for the shoot or...

Why, am I looking rough?

Do some improv exercises with your new buddy here, murr.

Let's do some improv to warm up, okay?

Let's do, like, shadows. You know, like --

Right?

Guys, what the are you doing?

Okay, action.

Murr, talk to him all politely and then just squeak in a,

"hey, keith, leave some fries for the rest of us."

So you said you're from connecticut, right?

Do me a favor, keith.

Just keep some fries for the rest of us, right?

I'll do what I please, james.

Thank you.

You know what? We're actually just gonna use keith.

Oh. Yeah.

If we can cut you from the scene for a minute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Sure.

So, keith, you're watching great golf here.

Just give big reactions to it, alright?

And action.

Now, murr, you're gonna slowly inch behind him

Like, on your phone, and just try and horn into the scene.

Got it.

Mimic him, murray. Mimic him.

Keith, big reactions.

Hey, hey!

Ohh!

That's it! That's it!

Hey, hey, hey. What the are you doing?

I knew he was back there the whole time.

No, I told you to get out of the scene.

I mean, it was a great shot.

But the shot is me, brother. Get over there.

Murray's being out-comedianed on his own show.

You're the straight man, murr.

You're the straight man in this scene.

You're funnier than me.

Can we get a replacement for this guy?

He's really kind of messing with my scene.

Sal: Q's in a commercial! Oh, look at him. Wow!

I hope it doesn't go to his head.

Brandon, right? How you doing? Yes, sir.

Murr: Q, tell the director

That this is a nice change of pace for you

Because you're usually typecast as an imbecile.

This is a nice change of pace for me.

Yeah? I'm usually just typecast as, like, an imbecile.

Really? Yeah.

Jay: We're gonna start in 2 minutes. Okay.

Brag about how many dead bodies you've played on tv.

Imbeciles I get and dead bodies.

I was on five episodes of "law and order: Svu."

Yeah, you play corpses and anything or just...? No.

I've never done anything like that before.

No. It's cool 'cause you get the lay there all day.

Really? Yeah.

Alright, so we're gonna start with

You guys just hanging out around the table.

Act natural.

Q, get in the oddest position you can.

Looking good. Alright.

And action.

Brandon: What's going on? Okay, yeah. How's it going?

They are making these strong.

Got some watered-down sprite over here.

No, I'm acting. I'm acting.

It's not really alcohol.

Oh, no, no. I know.

Oh.

Jay: Alright, cut.

Where are you from?

From russia. Russia?

Q, get confused as to when you're acting

And when they're acting.

You guys aren't acting right now, right?

Right now? Yeah.

No. 'cause he said cut, right?

I want to make sure we're relevant.

Maybe I'll shoehorn in some politics.

I just wonder if, like, we've done enough

That was socially relevant already.

Should I try and inject some politics into it?

Do you naturally talk about politics?

No.

You're standing like, "okay, just be natural."

She's making fun of you!

Jay: Alright, guys, we're ready to go again.

Q, as soon as he yells action, be like,

"so, who'd you vote for?"

Jay: And action.

So who'd you guys vote for?

Nope. No, no.

I know both of you voted for, right?

So basically, we're shooting some b-roll today.

We want to see you guys just being friends,

Having fun. Loose, fun at topgolf.

Let's see you hit a ball. Oh, cool.

Jay, say this -- "so, clearly,

There's no world the two of you have ever been together.

So you're just cousins? You're cousins."

Okay, so clearly there's no world

Where the two of you guys would be together.

So. Okay.

You guys are just cousins, alright?

Okay. Great.

Look at the face. I love it.

Yeah. Let's get you guys up at the pub table.

This is some b.S.

This is not the way a real commercial works at all.

They filed you, too? They did.

The wardrobe guy gave me these pants, actually.

Actually, the wardrobe guy gave me these jeans,

Because I spilled coffee on my nards.

I had spilled coffee on...