Smallville

I need 11 copies of each by tomorrow morning...

...and before my macchiato goes arctic.

Assistants just don't have the stamina they used to have.

Excuse me, Miss Lake. With all due respect, I'm not an assistant.

I'm a reporter.

Of course you are.

Unfortunately...

...Sullivan...

...what matters is that I can see Gotham from my new office...

...and you... oh, well, you, hon, you work below sea level.

At the risk of heresy, I would rather be snorkeling for the rest of my life...

...than destroy a man's career based on rumor.

I only print the truth. And if you haven't noticed...

...I print it on page one, section B, every week.

Ron, I know for a fact that this guy's on steroids. He's a juicer.

I can smell the slow-roasting ink of tomorrow's headline.

Well, you said you wanted someone with their finger on the pulse...

...of the city. Well, I just hit an artery.

Well, if it isn't the steroid stallion.

What? Don't you have some muscle-cocktail mixing to do?

You ruined my life.

And you don't even care, do you?

Oh, please, if you didn't wanna get Red Rovered by the Meteors...

...maybe you should've reconsidered jamming that needle into your tush.

You're pretty quick to get high and mighty.

I think those aminos are going to your head.

And I think you've destroyed enough lives.

I'm not gonna let you destroy any more.

"Hydro"

So I'm guessing you didn't ditch prime time on your social calendar...

...to come and help me research the dwindling pigeon population.

Chloe, Lex proposed.

And?

And I haven't given him an answer yet.

I'm sure that's going over well.

Yeah, Lex and I are in a really great place right now...

...but when I actually heard those words...

...there was something that wouldn't let me say yes.

Something like Clark?

When I was with Clark...

...I would've said yes without hesitating.

I thought that chapter of my life was over.

Lana...

...I think that you need to stop reading between the lines...

...and actually talk to Clark.

Before you're gonna be able to close this book on him forever.

Let's go.

- Scoopgirl? - Hotshot485?

You've gotta be kidding me.

I'm not the one up all night tooling the Internet for Green Arrow pics.

Don't you have a boyfriend?

Do you have the photos?

You got the cash?

I don't get it. Of all the photographers in Metropolis...

...how is that you end up with the first shots of our merry archer?

I have my connections.

No, really.

Oh, well, the guy doesn't get out of the Suicide Slums much.

So I just hung out there for a few weeks.

In my car, with my pepper spray, and the doors locked...

This is it? A bunch of arms and legs?

Nice work, hotshot.

I mean, you didn't even manage to catch one shot of his face.

All these tell me about Green Arrow is that he needs a Band-Aid.

Well, at least you got a good look at that.

Thanks.

Hey, Chloe.

Have you seen the Daily Planet this morning?

No.

Okay.

God, I can't let you read this in the paper.

Lex proposed to Lana.

What'd she say?

She hasn't given him an answer.

It says here it's because of me.

This is true?

Chloe?

I know better...

Look, I know better.

You know, I tried so hard to let Lana go that...

If she marries Lex, there's no going back.

Is it true?

I would double down on the fact that Lana's still in love with you.

- I can't let her do this. - Clark, wait a minute.

It's a lot more complicated now.

What could be more complicated than living your life with regrets?

You didn't have to do that.

I was feeling alone waiting for your answer.

I didn't realize I had so much company.

I don't know what to say.

Then let me.

"When I was with Clark...

...I would have said yes without hesitating."

You know, the worst part of waiting...

...was dwelling on all the reasons why you might be stalling.

At least now I know.

Lex, I'm sorry.

Mr. Luthor, you have a guest.

- They said Lana was here. - She was.

But I'm afraid you just missed her.

I'll come back later.

So you really think you can convince her?

You think you can talk her out of making...

...the biggest mistake of her life by marrying me?

- We both know that you swept in after... - After you crushed her?

You knew she was vulnerable.

And you played her until she thought she was in love with you.

If you really see Lana as that naive...

...you obviously don't think as much of her as I do.

It must be eating at you that she's hesitating...

...wondering why she hasn't given you an answer.

I guess it would.

If I didn't know what the answer was gonna be.

You see, I highly doubt she'll say no, Clark.

Now that she's carrying my child.

So you're telling me...

...you think that Metropolis' most worshipped meathead was murdered?

Hey, now, that's my childhood hero you're talking smack about.

And the one baseball card I still can't manage to snag.

Still?

Yeah, it's an investment.

So why the homicide hunch on this guy?

The obit writer left me Dawson's file to scan his photo.

Preliminary investigation's calling it suicide but...

...how's a guy who's larger than life drown in two feet of water?

Well, his career was over...

...and Lake was right, the coroner's report says...

...Dawson was juiced up on muscle mixers.

Chloe, come on. You're gonna tell me that someone on roid rage...

...is gonna lie down in a koi pond and call it a day?

You said you'd have it ready by today.

Well, that was before you added the Zen waterfall.

I have to get approval.

Approval? Oh, please. This pulp rag lives or dies by my column.

Now, you get it done by today...

...or you're gonna be decorating bathrooms in strip malls.

Get out!

Mr. Luthor...

...now, there's only one reason a celebrity pays me a house call.

Right to the point.

Since you have a unique way of exhuming...

...even the most carefully buried secrets...

...I have a little freelance assignment for you.

I quit doing freelance when I quit fetching lattes...

...for pudgy-fingered newsroom vultures.

Well, I'll let you decide what it's worth to you.

Fill in whatever number you want.

Just get me anything you can on Clark Kent and Lana Lang.

Okay, how long do I have to do this for?

What was it you said?

"Yoga's glorified stretching with chants."

A different perspective from down here.

Yeah, well, this is a good way to strengthen your core, trust me.

I didn't realize that my core was in question.

You really wanna keep talking?

No.

Oh, it's a scratch. Don't worry about it.

A scratch?

How did that happen?

- It was a fencing accident. - With a real blade?

You know, the tip snapped off and caught me.

Trust me, it looks worse than it feels, okay?

I promise.

Thank you for all of the chakra reorganizing, but I have to go.

Well...

Goodbye.

Smallville. Sorry about the article.

It's bad enough to have a broken heart...

...but to have it splashed all over the newspapers.

I guess that's what reporters do, don't they?

Okay, I think that little zinger just ricocheted off Linda Lake and hit me.

Look, I'm sorry.

It's just people keep secrets for a reason.

I don't know.

If you ask me, I think a secret is just a big loophole...

...in the whole "Thou shall not lie" clause.

There's just no gray area with you, is there?

Not when someone I thought I knew better than anyone...

...has been keeping the biggest secret of all.

What are you talking about?

What would you do if one day you realized someone close to you...

...had a serious hero complex?

Hero complex?

Hiding his true identity from everyone he supposedly cares about.

You can't tell me you wouldn't find something wrong with that.

Who exactly are we talking about?

Green Arrow, a.k.a. Oliver Queen.

Oliver.

Jimmy snapped photos of Green Arrow...

...getting slashed in the arm exactly where ollie's arm is cut.

Plus, the time printed on the photos...

...is exactly the same time ollie disappeared on me that same night.

When are you planning to unload this theory on oliver?

I need proof first. Definitive proof.

That's where I thought you might come in handy.

I swear I'm losing my scare reflex because of you.

- Lois asked me... - oh, please, Clark.

Are you gonna tell me why you're digging in Lois' purse, Snoop Dogg?

Wait, let me guess. You're covering for the new pledge of your hero fraternity.

Last time Lois said she had a lead on Green Arrow, she was bluffing.