iCarly

Morning, Carly. -Morning.

Hey, you know what I hate? -Mornings?

Yeah.

That's not your locker. -Then explain this.

I traded it with Arthur Gradstein.

Why would Arthur want your locker in

between those two big sweaty wrestlers who fight all the time?

He didn't.

Which is why I gave Arthur Freddie's locker

and made Freddie take mine.

I'm telling you, this is an illegal move!

Yeah, but that's different from this!

Guys, seriously... -That's the same thing, dipwad!

Dipwad? -Okay, okay, time-out.

All right, seriously, you guys. You're crushing my sack lunch!

This violates so many rules. Stop it, you guys. It hurts.

Get off! Quit it! -Hey! They're giving away free meat

in the parking lot! -Stop it!

Free meat?

Protein!

Look what they did to my pudding cup.

Give me your hand.

Carly. -What?

Jake Krandle and Stephanie Jeffers broke up.

They broke up?

Hey, is it true? -Yeah! They broke up last night.

Which means that Jake Krandle is single

for the first time since third grade.

Wait. Wait. Wait a minute!

So we're all gonna lose our minds

just 'cause one of us has a tiny chance to date Jake Krandle?

That answer your question? -And shattered my ear drum.

In five, four, three, two...

I know, you see

Somehow the world will change for me And be so wonderful

Live life, breathe air

I know somehow we're gonna get there And feel so wonderful

It's all for real

I'm telling you just how I feel

So wake up the members of my nation

It's your time to be

There's no chance unless you take one

And the time to see

The brighter side of every situation

Some things are meant to be

So give your best and leave the rest to me

Leave it all to me

Leave it all to me

Just leave it all to me

iCarly S01E04 iLike Jake

It doesn't matter. -Yeah?

It's more than just cool. It's really cool.

Back up. He can't see us. -I know.

Okay, it's so not like me

to get all crazy about a hot guy like Jake Krandle.

But... -But, oh, my God, he's so hot,

I wanna bake cookies on him.

I'd eat those cookies.

If you like him so much, go say hi to him.

What?

You can't just say hi to a guy like Jake Krandle.

What if he says hi back? Then what do I say?

Just say, "I'm sorry I hit you in the head with an apple."

Why would I ask...

Carly did it.

I think you accidentally threw this at my head.

Yeah.

Apples can be slippery. Stupid Fuji.

Well, I should probably get to class.

Wait. -Okay.

You're Carly Shay, right?

Yeah. Yes, I am. How do you know my name?

From your web show iCarly. -You've seen it?

Yeah, you're really good.

It's weird, I kind of feel like I'm talking to a celebrity.

That's weird, 'cause I kind of feel like I'm gonna throw up.

For real? -No, no, it's fine.

I meant throwing up in the good way.

Right, right.

So, we should hang out sometime.

Something wrong? -No, I just swallowed my gum.

But, yeah, we should totally hang out.

Maybe you could come by my house

and I'll show you where we shoot the web show.

You shoot it at your house? -Well, apartment.

Or I guess it's more of a loft. It has an elevator.

You're really funny. -Yeah, well.

I'll see you around. -Yes, you will.

What did he say? Tell me everything.

He said we should hang out sometime!

Actually, I feel that teachers should give us more homework.

More homework and more discipline. -Yes.

Discipline is very important.

I think it's a priority in school...

So, that's supposed to be your body?

Well, yeah.

You know, if I looked like this.

It's like you're twins. So why no head?

That goes on later. Okay, you ready to splatter paint?

Okay.

And... Wait. We need music. -Yeah, we do.

Okay, ready? On three. One... I can't wait!

Like this? -Yes! You are the splatter master.

Cool. -Try closing your eyes.

Incoming! - Yes! Feel the music. Be the paint.

How can I be the paint? -Paint doesn't ask questions.

Good technique.

I got it. -Okay.

Hi, Jake. Jake?

Hey, I was in the neighbourhood...

Wait here! -Listen, if this is...

What's going on? -I have to make myself attractive!

How's it going? -Why are you here?

I just stopped by to see Carly. -Okay.

There. You've seen her.

Now why don't you just scurry on out of here?

Hey, sorry about that. -No worries.

It's okay, Carly. I got the situation under control.

I was just asking Jake here... -Come on in, Jake.

Look, I really don't think it's such a good idea

to be letting this guy in.

I mean, come on, he's just such a... -You're the best.

Yeah. Just keep kissing those frogs, Carly.

This prince can wait.

So, your older brother is actually shaped like that?

No, no. He has a head.

Hey, look. I found hot pink and orphan blue.

The saddest of all blues.

Yeah, Spencer, this is my friend Jake.

Jake, this is my brother, Spencer.

Hey, how's it... I probably shouldn't... -Yeah, don't.

I'm gonna take Jake upstairs

and show him where we shoot iCarly.

You two going up there alone? -Spencer.

Okay. But, remember,

I could pop up there at any moment, like a ninja.

Here, let me get you a rag.

And as far away from him as possible.

A ninja!

And the third floor. -Nice.

It's weird, this room looks so much bigger on the Internet.

Yeah. The Internet can distort room size.

Hey, Sam's remote.

Wow, you really do watch iCarly.

Yeah, this controls all the sound effects, right?

That's it. Do it, you know you want to.

Sweet. Hey, what was the name of that song?

Was it Brake Lights by Cuddlefish? -Impressive.

I didn't think anybody knew that song. -I do.

That was one of the first songs...

Sorry. What were you saying?

Just that that was one of the first songs

I taught myself to play.

You play guitar? -And sing a little.

Really? 'Cause Sam and I've been talking about

maybe having live music on the show.

Would you wanna do a song?

Definitely.

Wait, let's check and make sure your audience is into it.

Well, looks like I'm singing on iCarly.

It fell. -I like it better on the floor.

Hello? Carly? Is that you?

No, Carly's upstairs getting...

Ready for the show.

What are you doing?

Making a plaster cast of my head

to put on top of my body sculpture.

Of course you are. What are the tubes for?

Well, since I'm gonna be in here

for 12 hours while the plaster dries,

this tube is for breathing,

and this tube is for food and drink.

Nice.

Well, I'm gonna leave now.

Wait! Before you go,

would you mind pouring some coffee down my drink hole?

Sure, what are friends for?

Okay. That was my breathing tube.

So, you're tall, you're an athlete,

every girl in school thinks you're hot,

and now you're a musician, too.

I guess. -Can you fly?

Actually, my uncle's a pilot

and he's been giving me flying lessons.

Forget it! I'll be with my tripod.

Do you know how many kids came up to me at school today

freaking out that Jake's gonna play on the show?

I know, it's gonna be huge.

What?

Would you have ever believed that

Jake Krandle could be in love with you?

He's not in love with me. Yet.

Cinnamon buns. Cinnamon buns.

Cinnamon buns. Cinnamon buns. -Why do that?

I'm checking the microphone

and the acoustic resonance in the...

Whoops! Don't care.

So what time does the show start? -In about a half hour.

But, listen, since we've never done

live music on the show before,