iCarly

- 3, 2... - Okay.

Next, on icarly...

We want to show you guys

an awesome new product for sale.

- You've all seen that stupid commercial

for that crazy blanket

with the sleeves, right?

Well, we found something

even crazier and stupider.

And we don't mean Freddie.

Right up there. Look.

- How many times has this happened to you?

You're just sitting on your couch,

trying to Polish your bowling ball,

but your blanket

keeps flying off your body.

- My blanket keeps flying off my body.

Well, forget blankets,

'cause now there's... The sack.

The sack?

- With the sack, you'll stay warm and cozy

while doing all the fun things

you enjoy, like... Even enjoying

hot bowls of chowder.

Made of a super-soft, thick,

luxurious fabric of some sort,

the sack comes in rash red,

mucus green, pus yellow or blue.

Order now, and you'll also get

this photo of a 1996 penny.

Hey, nice sacks.

We know.

All right.

Now, lately at icarly,

we've been thinkin' about...

See, kids don't eat

enough vegetables these days.

- So we're gonna set a good example.

Watch this.

Ow.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Oh my god, you lost a tooth.

- See what you get for eatin' vegetables?

In 5, 4, 3, 2...

* I know, you see *

* somehow the world *

* will change for me *

* and be so wonderful *

* live life, breathe air *

* I know somehow *

* we're gonna get there *

* and feel so wonderful *

* it's all for real *

* I'm telling you *

* just how I feel *

* so wake up the members *

* of my nation *

* it's your time to be *

* there's no chance *

* unless you take one *

* and it's time to see *

* the brighter side *

* of every situation *

* some things are meant to be *

* so give your best *

* and leave the rest to me *

* leave it all to me *

* *

* leave it all to me *

* just leave it all to me *

- Ow, ow. Ah... - Stop that.

Come on, I'm hungry.

- But you just had a tooth fall out.

- You can't be eating corn on the cob.

Ah, what's the big shizz?

It's normal for teeth to fall out.

Yeah, when you're five.

Or ninety.

How long has it been

since you went to a dentist?

- I don't know, two... Twelve years.

What?

Years?

- You're supposed to go every six months.

- Yeah, I'll add that to my list of things

that'll never happen.

Ow.

- Hey, you guys, which one of these shirts

do you think I should wear tomorrow?

To where?

Prison.

Prison?

- Oh my god, what did you download?

Nothing.

Yeah, nothing.

That's not why I'm going to prison.

Then why?

To teach art.

I volunteered for this program

where people help prisoners

learn valuable skills so when they get out,

they won't have to go back

to a life of crime.

Sure.

Why would a dude rob a bank

when he can build a robot

out of soda bottles?

Hey, is she eating my corn?

That was the last piece of corn.

No, she's not.

But she is going to see a dentist.

- Hey, what's on this corn, barbecue sauce?

Sam's blood.

All right, Sam, just sit here

and let me adjust this for you.

- Whoa, whoa, what are you doin', lady?

- She's just gonna have you lie down.

Oh. Well I do like lyin' down.

- And I'll just put this around your neck.

What, are we having ribs?

- No. See, when the dentist starts drilling

into your teeth-- - drilling my teeth?

No. No. It's okay. It's okay.

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to do this.

Help me!

- Hey, hey, hey, girls, girls, girls.

Hi, doctor Wheeler.

This is my friend Sam.

She's a little nervous.

I'm way nervous.

- She hasn't been to a dentist since--

she hasn't been to a dentist.

- Sam, there's nothing to be nervous about.

There better not be.

- Why don't you go sit in the waiting room,

and I'll get Sam's teeth all fixed up.

Okay.

Stay blonde.

Stay brown.

Stop!

No.

Help us!

Thank you, officers.

I'll take it from here.

- You sure you don't want us to stay?

Nah.

If I'm gonna teach these guys about art,

I need to show them that I trust them.

Whatever you say.

If you need us, just yell.

No worries.

Hello, gentlemen.

My name is Spencer, and I'm gonna be

teaching you guys about sculpting.

Ah!

Specifically-- ah!

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Sorry.

We should've warned you about that guy.

He's always trying to kill somebody.

- Yeah, that would've been good to know.

Yeah.

- As I was saying, I'm gonna teach you guys

about sculpting, which, of course, is art.

Now, I think of art

as a physical expression of emotion.

So, let's start by talking about

the emotions you guys

are feeling right now.

Stabbing.

- Stabbing isn't really an emotion.

It's more of an activity

that I hope you don't do to me.

See, an emotion is more of a feeling.

Well, maybe, I feel stabby.

- So, sculpting-- why don't we come up

with an idea for a sculpture

we can all build together?

A knife.

No.

Let's think of something big

and not deadly.

How about a big pair of pants?

Okay, we all seem excited

about that, so great, sure.

Let's sculpt a big pair of pants.

Hey.

He wants to apologize

for trying to kill you.

All right.

Listen, I'm really sorry.

Ah!

Apology accepted!

Ooh, her teeth look good.

Yep.

I replaced the missing tooth

and filled three other cavities.

You hear that, Sam?