Sherlock

Why today?

Do you want to hear me say it?

Eighteen months since our last appointment.

You read the papers?

-Sometimes. -And you watch telly?

You know why I'm here.

I'm here because...

What happened, John?

She r..J

You need to get it out.

My best friend, Sherlock

is dead.

Falls of the Reichenbach.

Turner's masterpiece,

thankfully recovered owing to the prodigious talent

of Mr Sherlock Holmes.

A small token of our gratitude.

Diamond cufflinks. All my cuffs have buttons.

-He means "thank you". -Do I?

-just say it. -Thank you.

Ah...

Back together with my family,

after my terrifying ordeal.

And we have one person to thank for my deliverance,

Sherlock Holmes.

-Tie pin. I don't wear ties. -Shh.

Peter Ricoletti.

Number one on Interpol's most wanted list since 1982.

But we got him.

And there's one person we have to thank for giving us the decisive leads,

with all his customary diplomacy and tact.

-Sarcasm. -Yes.

We all chipped in.

-Oh! Put the hat on!

-(ALL CALLING our) -Yeah, Sherlock. Put it on.

"Boffin"? Boffin Sherlock Holmes.

-Everybody gets one. -One what?

Tabloid nickname.

SuBo, Nasty Nick.

Shouldn't worry. I'll probably get one soon.

Page five, column six, first sentence.

-Why is it always the hat photograph? -“ Bachelor John Watson."

-What kind of hat is it, anyway? -Bachelor?

What the hell are they implying?

-Is it a cap? Why has it got two fronts? -It's a deerstalker.

"...frequently seen in the company of bachelor John Watson."

How do you stalk a deer with a hat? What am I going to do, throw it?

-"Confirmed bachelor John Watson." -Is it like some sort of death Frisbee?

Okay, this is too much. We need to be more careful.

It's got flaps. Ear flaps, it's an ear hat, John.

What do you mean, more careful?

I mean, this isn't a deerstalker now. It's a Sherlock Holmes hat.

I mean that you're not exactly a private detective any more.

-You're this far from famous. -Oh, it'll pass.

It better pass. The press will turn, Sherlock. They always turn.

And they’ll turn on you

-It really bothers you. -What?

-What people say. -Yes.

About me. I don't understand. Why would it upset you?

Just try to keep a low profile.

Find yourself a little case this week.

Stay out of the news.

-That's your phone. -Mmm, keeps doing that.

So, did you just talk to him for a really longtime?

Oh. Henry Fishguard never committed suicide.

Bow Street Runners missed everything!

Pressing case, is it?

They're all pressing till they're solved.

Put your key in there, please.

-(ALARM BEEPING) Excuse me, sir.

Any metal objects? Keys, mobile phones?

-Go through. -Thank you.

-Fancy a cuppa, then, mate? -Yeah, why not?

Gilts at seven. Dutch Telecoms in free fall.

Thank you, Harvey.

What do you say? Refuse them all parole and bring back the rope?

Let's begin.

This is an emergency Please leave...

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

-Sir, there's been a break-in. -Not our division.

You'll want it.

The vault!

Hacked into the Tower of bloody London's security? How?

Tell them we're already on our way.

There's been another one. Another break-in.

Bank of England!

Sir, security's down, sir. It's failing.

-Where is it now? -Pentonville Prison.

Oh, no!

No rush.

I'll get it, shall I?

-Here. -Not now, I'm busy.

-Sherlock. -Not now.

He's back.

That glass is tougher than anything.

Not tougher than crystallised carbon.

He used a diamond.

-Ready? -Yes.

Let them through.

Thank you. I've got it.

-Remember... -Yes.

-Remember... -Yes.

Remember what they told you.

-Don't try to be clever... -No.

And please, just keep it simple and brief.

God forbid the star witness in the trial should come across as intelligent.

Intelligent, fine. Let's give smartarse a wide berth.

-I'll just be myself. -Are you listening to me?

-So today, standing outside... -Is this the trial of the century...

The trial of James Moriarty...

James Moriarty early today accused of attempting.. .

of attempting to steal the Crown jewels.

At the Old Bailey we have Reichenbach hero Sherlock Holmes...

Would you mind slipping your hand into my pocket?

Thanks.

(ON PA) Crown versus Moriarty please proceed to Court 76.

You're him.

Wrong toilet.

-I'm a big fan. -Evidently.

I read your cases. Follow them all.

Sign my shirt, would you?

-There are two types of fans. -Oh?

-Catch me before l kill again, type A. -Uh-huh.

-What's type B? -Your bedroom's just a taxi ride away.

Hmm.

Guess which one I am?

-Neither. -Really?

No, you're not a fan at all.

Those marks on your forearm. Edge of a desk.

You've been typing in a hurry, probably. Pressure on, facing a deadline.

-That all? -There's a smudge of ink on your wrist

and the bulge in your left jacket pocket.

Bit of a giveaway?

The smudge is deliberate. It's to see if I'm as good as they say I am.

Hmm. Oil-based. Used in newspaper print.

But drawn on with an index finger.

Your finger. journalist.

Unlikely you get your hands dirty at the press.

You put that there to test me.

-Wow! I'm liking you. -You mean I'd make a great feature.

"Sherlock Holmes, the man beneath the hat."

Kitty. Riley.

-Pleased to meet you. -No.

I'm just saving you the trouble of asking.

No, I won't give you an interview. No, I don't want the money.

You and John Watson. just platonic?

Can I put you down for a no there as well?

There's all sorts of gossip in the press about you.

Sooner or later, you're going to need someone on your side.

Someone to set the record straight.

You think you're the girl for that job, do you?

I'm smart. And you can trust me.

Totally.

Smart? Okay. Investigative journalist.

Good. Well, look at me and tell me what you see.

If you're that skilful, you don't need an interview,

you can just read what you need.

No? Okay, my turn.

I look at you and I see someone who's still waiting for their first big scoop

so that their editor will notice them.

You're wearing an expensive skin that has been re-hemmed twice.

The only posh skirt you've got.

And your nails, you can't afford to do them that often.

I see someone who's hungry. I don't see smart.

And I definitely don't see trustworthy,

but I'll give you a quote, if you like. Three little words.

You repel me.

A consulting criminal. Yes.

Your words. Can you expand on that answer?

James Moriarty is for hire.

-A tradesman? -Yes.

But not the sort who'd fix your heating?

No, the sort who'd plant a bomb or stage an assassination,

but I'm sure he'd make a pretty decent job of your boiler.

Would you describe him as...

-Leading. -What?

Can't do that. You're leading the witness.

He'll object and the judge will uphold.

Mr Holmes!

Ask me how. How would I describe him?

What opinion have I formed of him? Did they not teach you this?

Mr Holmes, we're fine without your help.

How would you describe this man, his character?

First mistake,

James Moriarty isn't a man at all.

He's a spider.

A spider at the centre of a web.

A criminal web with a thousand threads

and he knows precisely how each and every single one of them dances.

And how long...

No, no, don't... Don't do that. That's really not a good question.

-Mr Holmes! How long have I known him?

Not really your best line of enquiry.

We met twice, five minutes in total.

I pulled a gun. He tried to blow me up.

I felt we had a special something.

Miss Sorrel, are you seriously claiming this man is an expert?

After knowing the accused for just five minutes?