Shrinking

Bri, can you hand me that packing tape?

I'm sorry to interrupt while you're standing there looking mad.

Hey, I'll grab y'all some waters.

- Thanks, Mom. - And isn't my baby girl sweet

for having me move in with her?

I am a benevolent queen.

- She takes after her mama! - That's right.

Can't believe you tricked me into coming here.

Bri, you look so pretty. You're glowing.

Of course I'm glowing.

I put on my glowy sunscreen because you said we were going to the beach.

Okay, well, we're in Long Beach, that counts.

You know having my mom move in with me is really hard, all right?

- I need some support from my broskies. - I know.

I know you're stressed out, but look at it this way,

at least you'll finally get good at having sex quietly.

I don't know how to take that.

- Here ya go. - Mrs. Evans,

- you're a churchgoing woman, right? - Yes.

If I tell you I'm a homosexual, may I be excused?

- Nice try, bitch. - Language.

Gabitha! I'm shocked.

And, baby, you gonna be in charge of my clothes.

All right.

Kind of a stereotype.

Son of a bitch.

What's with the shaky leg?

Or are you mocking me?

I'm just trying to get the courage to say something.

Sounds juicy.

Well, let me know when you're ready to stop being a chickenshit.

Okay.

You once said that I could either let my grief drown me,

or I could come out the other side.

Yeah.

And I'm not fully out yet, but I can see the light.

I think I'm done with therapy.

And I know what you're gonna say.

"No one is ever done with therapy."

Because, yes, you sound like Batman.

I do that on purpose. It's called gravitas.

I'm just thinking it's time for me to start doing this on my own,

at least for a little while.

Are you mad?

No.

In fact, I'm deeply proud.

And if you ever feel you need me, I'll be here for you.

I know.

And, Paul...

You're welcome.

What, you thought you were gonna get away with not paying for your last session?

Please.

The good stuff.

Shit.

Who died?

You don't get to make jokes like that around people of my age.

I'll never forget so many things about my husband.

And when Elliot loved you,

you just never had to doubt it, even for a second.

And that's how I'll remember him.

Thank you all for coming.

At least you two don't have to sneak around anymore.

I was trying to lighten the mood.

When you're gonna do that at a funeral, it should be funny.

I thought that was pretty solid material, Paul.

Thank you for coming with me.

Of course.

I wouldn't miss your boss's girlfriend's husband's funeral.

Can you believe how hot Julie looks in black?

- I want that white lady bad. - I'd watch that.

- Hey. - Jesus Christ.

At least those two don't have to sneak around anymore, right?

See that, Paul?

Paul. Funny.

- What's funny? - I don't know.

Okay.

Hope it's not weird, you know, us hanging out,

since I was the last guy who she was with.

No, it doesn't bother me.

It's okay if it does.

It doesn't, but thanks.

- Cool. - Cool.

- Cool, cool, cool. - Cool, c-cool, cool.

Really?

This is making me sad.

I get it.

- Hey, thanks for coming. You too, Brian. - Course.

Don't thank him. He skipped the service. He just came for the food.

- Jealous? - Yes.

Also, I wanna let you know since the house is already sold,

you can go ahead and put those funds into a trust

- for Elliot's daughter and grandkids. - Thank you.

I know that's what he would've wanted.

You sold the house? Where are you gonna live now?

She's gonna crash with me for a couple days until she figures something out.

Well, thanks again, pal.

- Yeah. - All right.

- Wow. - She's gonna crash with you

- for a few days? - A few days?

- That's some cold-ass shit, Paul. - I am shaken to my core.

- That was, like, so disturbing. - Haunting.

What we're doing right now is working.

Don't forget I haven't lived with another human being for 30...

What are you doing? ...thirty years. What is that?

It's a big flapping pussy 'cause that's what you're being right now.

Flap, flap, flap, flappity, flap, flap, Paul.

That's also haunting.

- I bet. Check this out. - Don't bring it over to me.

- I don't want that. I don't want... - Hey. Hey.

We're at a funeral.

When Alice turns 18, you will be an adult who has an adult.

How is this blowing your mind?

Your dad has an adult.

Holy shit.

You guys talking about my birthday? What are you getting me?

I'm baking you a cake.

Would you like chocolate or yellow?

Surprise me, but yellow.

I know what you should get me.

Come on, Dad. It's just a car.

"Just a car." I love white family dynamics.

Look, I'm sorry, kid. My insurance would go through the roof.

Okay.

Well, it was worth a shot.

- Would you give it one more think? - Nope.

What if I paid for gas?

With what?

- It's egregious to me, honestly. - No, it's horrible.

Get Alice a fucking car.

I know how much you make, cheapo.

You're a narc, Sean!

I'm fine with it.

All right, fembots, disengage.

I'm getting Alice a car.

I just told her no so I could surprise her.

That's sweet. Okay, I like you again.

I haven't decided yet.

Her last birthday sucked. That's on me.

Yeah, when you knocked on my door, drunk,

asking if you could borrow a birthday cake?

- I remember what I did, Liz. - Do you?

Well, not all of it.

It's probably healthy for me to have some secrets from myself.

Look, she's always been obsessed with the yellow MINI Cooper

her mom had in college, so I'm looking for one of those.

I'm back on your team.

But when's the party?

She has her own plans, Liz.

She doesn't wanna celebrate her 18th birthday with her dad and his friends.

- Who cares what she wants? She owes us. - That shit is...

- It is not for her. It's for us. - No. We're getting one.

- We're getting one. - Okay.

- We getting one for damn sure. - Yeah. For damn sure.

For damn sure.

Okay.

- We gotta plan this party. - All right.

- Derek. Derek coming through. - Derek!

- Hey, Jorge. - Hey. Yeah, what can I get ya?

Sorry. I'm Derek.

- I'll have the usual. - All right.

I'm just trying to decide if I want one or two.

Get two, babe. You're my big, hungry guy.

- Really? - Yeah.

You heard the lady.

Relax, I'll go bring it to you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hey, what the hell was that?

Not looking for input.

Hello. Not sure why he just got to cut the line.

Excuse me, chunky necklace.

Nobody asked you.

But thank you so much for policing the line.

You're doing such a great job.

Really. Really. A-plus.

Wow.

Whatever you want is on me.

All right, young lady. Let's get down to business.

Obviously, your upcoming birthday means a lot

- to both Liz and I-- - Liz and me.

We said we were gonna be on the same page today.

- Just say it properly. - All right.

Obviously, your upcoming birthday means a lot to Liz and me.

Thank you.

We just wanna start by saying that we love you.

- We're coming with an aggressive offer. - Yes we are.

Full sit-down dinner, cake and presents after, cocktail attire,

7:00 to 10:30.

I'm gonna counter with standing in the kitchen eating cake

in sweats,

no presents being opened,

4:30 to 4:35.

Well, that's bullshit.

- You calm down. - That's fucking bullshit.

I know it's bullshit. She playing right now.

We anticipated this.

I'm gonna hit you with a counteroffer.

One hour cake, smart casual, and you open Liz and my presents only.

Mention the pregaming.

We also want 20 minutes with you while you're getting ready.