The Ages of Love (Manuale d'amore 3)

The ages of love

Love is an emotion that stirs everything.

Sometimes it's a traitor, changing our features

and flying away like a boomerang.

Leaving you standing in the wind,

smiling stupidly.

Well...

I am that wind.

That dizziness...

I'm that boomerang that suddenly comes back.

I'm cupid.

The driver of that taxi known as love.

It doesn't matter if it's young,

old, long or short.

What matters is that beating of the heart,

making pulses race and lips quiver.

It happens to me every time I shoot an arrow from this bow.

The first age of love youth

okay...

This corner's reserved for poker and the play station.

All that space?

Honey, I have to fit in a table, a chair,

the console and computer.

Well, if the gaming area's so big,

your mom's cabinet goes.

Are you nuts? You know mom,

she'll spoil the party if that cabinet's not here.

We'll put... the other table here.

Roby, my stomach hurts.

I've had this funny feeling for quite some time.

Are you sure...

Getting married is the right thing?

Honey, we don't have to get married,

only if we really want to.

I'll try to explain how much I want to.

Today, for example...

I left the house

and I saw a girl trying to park in a very small space.

A yapping dog.

A woman in a big skirt who rode her bike

through a red light without even noticing.

I dropped my keys and bent down to pick them up.

It all happened in an instant.

But...

Even in that instant,

I was thinking about you.

You and those dark, deep eyes of yours.

Tell me you just made that up to impress me.

Tell me, you fool!

Hi, Augusto! - Good evening.

Good evening, kids.

I'll miss this moment.

Why?

Only teenagers walk each other home.

And you still are one.

I'm Roberto de tommaso.

I want two things in life:

To become a top lawyer and to marry this woman.

Goodnight.

A tuscan farming couple, very stubborn.

They've been there 50 years.

They say they were born there and they'll die there too.

Your job is to convince them to leave.

- When does the contract expire? - In 3 years.

If they dig their heels in, we'll never get them out.

- What will it be used for? - A golf course clubhouse.

They're the last ones left, right in the middle of the development.

- What about compensation? - 30,000 Euros Max.

Okay.

Tell me when I have to start. For me, you already have!

This is it, my big chance.

I know it'd come. I won't disappoint you.

I have to get results, be ruthless and hard-hitting.

I was taught that results are the only things that count.

I have to be clear-headed ahd focused.

Good morning. Excuse me.

My GPS isn't working, don't know why.

It'll work in the next town, but the satellite skips this one.

Tell me where you're headed, the old-fashioned way.

I'm going to the michelacci farm. Know it?

It's easy: Take the highway for four kilometers.

On the right you'll see a dirt road that goes down and then up.

Then there's a curve by the bridge that claimed many victims.

You'll see all the crosses. The farm's right in front of it.

- Where are you sending him? - He asked for directions.

So give him the right ones.

You can't even joke around here anymore!

You've all become softies!

Can I help you?

- Isn't he a real traffic cop? - Yes, but he's a bit nutty.

I'm looking for the michelacci farm.

Take the dirt road that runs alongside the river

till you see a red house: You can't miss it, it's red.

When you see that, you're practically there.

It's easy. Okay, thanks for the information.

Hope it's right.

We should be attracting tourists here!

You're a public official!

- Have some coffee, attorney. - Thanks ma'am, you shouldn't have.

You see, ettore? It's a complicated situation.

I'm on your side, I know those guys.

They'll get the cops to evict you. What a disgrace!

- Shut up! - Shut up.

We're not moving, I'll die in this house.

I checked, they can't touch us: He's handicapped.

Have a heart, attorney.

It doesn't depend on me.

Dunno who it depends on...

The only thing I can do is try...

To get you... 15,000 Euros compensation.

How much is that in lira? 30 million.

I've sweat blood on this land for 40 years.

I tilled it, weeded it, turned it into a garden.

Luckily, the law of usucapion is in force here.

Yeah, usucapion!

Go tell those assholes.

They're not making holes for their balls here!

I'll tell you what we'll do: I'll go now,

you think it over and I'll come back tomorrow.

Then you can decide.

15,000 Euros is quite a sum.

Think it over.

15,000 is a lot of money, but I've got my dignity.

Go tell those ass-peddlers! Thank you. Goodbye.

Michelacci still wakes up with a hard-on!

Shut up, let me be! Don't be so rude!

Who'll do what's possible? You?

Who'll do what's possible? How should I know!

Very negative...

Negative!

Very negative!

Is it a nice place? What's the hotel like?

I can't figure it out.

The local traffic cop played a prank on me.

I found a ball and bucket in the wardrobe.

The cold and hot water is reversed.

No door on the bathroom, like in jail.

The wall clock isn't working.

Sounds like a fairy tale, but it's just a couple of nights.

Let's hope so, michelacci's tough, he won't give in.

- Have you eaten? - No, better go before they close.

Sure, call me tomorrow.

- Okay. - Bye.

Darling?

You even look hot on the computer. Idiot!

My mom's right

when she says me and my friends are downers.

No, you're just stupid!

My scooter runs out of gas,

I call you to pick me up and you run out of gas too.

It's lucky you're clairvoyant. I am a clairvoyant.

I'd foreseen it.

I like creating absurd situations, I like paradox.

Yeah, paradox my ass!

You don't know shit about paradox!

Micol, if you park there I'll give you a ticket.

But you'll rip it up after a couple of drinks.

So, pravda, you think it's quicker

to run round the town...

Than it is to drive the car round the...

Scenic route.

Listen, a guy who runs 500 meters...

Finishes before a guy who drives 2 km.

Pravda's right, it's quicker to run.

You always say he's right. Let the clairvoyant speak.

Tell us what you think... What can I say?

I'm not getting shit tonight.

There's no signal, reception's really lousy.

I'll bet 20 Euros on the car.

So it's time to place your bets.

Someone has to do the circuit on foot.

I've had a drink, I've eaten and I'm constipated.

I can't run.

- Someone has to run the circuit. - I can't.

- Someone has to go on foot. - He can...

- Don't look at me. - Who'll do it?

Mel

I'll run. Hey, it's the wayfarer!

- But I'll have to change my shoes. - If he runs, I'll drive.

Three, two...

One... go!

What am I doing?

Where am I going?

Why am I running round this town with my trousers rolled up?

I should have been in bed hours ago.

But instead...

I'm running and I don't know if I'm headed somewhere

or escaping from something.

How the fuck did you do it? I nearly got killed.

Got something to say? Spit it out!

And so, after a very long time

and after nearly busting my spleen,

finally,

I felt like a kid again.

My husband won't reason, but we've no choice, right?

I don't think so.

Will you give us the 15,000 right away?

No, I'm just here to negotiate.

Because if he sees it, maybe...

They're plotting together. I don't like it...