Proxy

So, how have you been feeling?

Okay, I guess.

Have you had any more contractions since your last visit?

A few, I think.

Uh, there we go.

- That's it? - That's it.

Heartbeat looks good.

Just need to get a few measurements here.

Now, you did not want to know the sex of the baby, correct?

- Mm, no. I'd rather not. - Okay.

I honestly don't blame you.

If I could do it over again, I wouldn't want to know, either.

We were told I was having a girl. Ended up a boy.

Had to redecorate the nursery, return all the shower gifts.

Such a pain.

Guess it's kind of ironic, though, considering what I do.

Wipe up for you.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

There you go.

So, how have you been feeling in general?

Okay, I guess. I just want to get it over with.

Just about everyone says the same thing at this point. It won't be long now, though.

Okay, well, if you don't have any more questions for me,

then the doctor will be going over all the results with you at your visit next week.

- Okay. - Okay.

Can you tell me your name? Can you open your eyes for me?

Get breath sounds, too, when you get that done.

We got the one I.V. We're gonna get another one... bilateral arm.

Got a mid-20-year-old female involved in an assault.

Obvious trauma to the head, vaginal bleeding, unresponsive.

- Got one 14-gauge I.V. On... - One, two, three.

We need to get a second I.V. Let's start some more I.V. fluids

and get two units of O-neg blood. We need to call O.B. Stat.

Ma'am, I'm Dr. Bales. Can you hear me?

Are you having any pain?

She's unresponsive.

Give me the O.B. B.P. Stat.

- Dr. Bales? - Yes.

They can't be here for at least 30 minutes. They're in surgery.

The baby's heart rate is really low. I need a blood pressure.

Blood pressure's 60.

We can't wait. We have to get the baby out now.

I need a scalpel.

Dr. Romero. Dr. Romero, please.

Come in.

- Esther Woodhouse? - Yes.

My name is detective Allen. Do you have a few minutes to talk?

Okay.

May I?

- How are you feeling? - Pretty sore.

Not great, I guess.

I'm very sorry about your baby.

I know this will sound strange, but you are actually quite lucky.

And how's that?

You lost a lot of blood. Most people don't come back from that.

You're right. That is a strange thing to say.

Nevertheless, that's what you should be focusing on right now.

How much worse things could have been. It'll help with the anger.

So...

Do you feel up to talk about what happened, what you remember?

I... don't really remember much of anything.

I left my O.B. Appointment.

And I was walking to the bus stop.

And then I woke up here.

Everything else is just pieces, fragments.

I couldn't tell you what was real or not.

We recovered your purse at the entrance to the alley where you were found.

We'll have you check it just to be sure, but... It looks like all that's missing is

- whatever money you would have had. - When can I have it back?

Um... soon. It's safe.

I know. I just want it back.

- I'd just like to have it back. - Okay, um, I'll see what I can do.

Is there anyone you can think of, Esther, anyone at all,

that may have held a grudge against you?

Can I think of anyone who might want to kill my baby? No.

What about the father?

Sperm bank.

Sperm...

- Why a sperm bank? - Doesn't matter now.

Co-workers, acquaintances?

No.

Why are you asking me all this?

This thing that happened to you, Esther... this type of assault

is almost always carried out by someone who knows the victim personally.

The time it took to do this, the risk,

The emotion involved to follow through with something so...

It's just not characteristic of a random mugging.

Well, I don't know who would want to do it.

What about someone on drugs or...

a misogynist...

or maybe just some crazy homeless person who lived in that alley?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, those...

those are all definite possibilities.

Looks like you have your next visitor.

I'll get out of here, and I'll let you two get acquainted.

Just, uh... give some thought to what I said.

Call me anytime. My cellphone's on there and everything.

- Okay. - I'll be in touch soon.

So sorry, again, for your loss.

Hi, Miss Woodhouse. I'm Mary Wilkens. I'm one of the social workers here at the hospital.

- Hi. - How are you feeling?

Going to get that question a lot around here, I guess.

Yeah. Well, I'll try and make it quick so we can let the next one come in.

- The next one? - The doctors, the nurses,

rehab, police, social workers, religious counsel...

all day and, I'm afraid, all night, until you leave here.

There's gonna be more people come through that door than you know what to do with.

You're gonna get sick of the attention.

So, who can I call to talk to about helping you transition back into life?

Uh, there really isn't anyone.

- I'm kind of on my own. - Family, co-workers?

I don't have any family.

Friends? Who are you close to?

My fish.

Sweetie, I need names. Give them up.

I'm sorry. There really isn't anyone... no one who would care.

You're gonna need a support system, people to help you through this.

Without it, it's going to be incredibly difficult.

Well, the Chaplain's been in and the police and you.

I'm talking about long-term support.

We're here to help you with the initial phase of recovery.

Have you ever had any formal therapy before?

No.

That lists therapists and counselors as well as several support groups

that specialize in victims of violent crimes and women who have lost a child.

Thank you.

- I'll take a look at it. - I hope you do.

Don't fall through the cracks. Too many people do. You have to reach out now.

You remember the people who I said who are going to come in to see you and help you?

That stops once you leave here.

We're here to help and support you,

but the second you walk out the front doors of the hospital, we disappear.

I go onto to the next person that needs help and then the next.

You understand?

Okay.

Sorry, buddy.

One new message.

Hey, it's me.

Just wondering if you're okay.

Okay. I'll just, uh, try you back later when I can.

Message deleted.

And he just kept laughing and laughing.

You know what really gets me, though,

is that he thought this was just a-a joke.

Thank you for sharing that, Audrey.

So, would anyone else like to share before we take a short break?

All right then.

For those of you who are new to our group, we have pastries and coffee,

so please feel free to help yourself.

So, let's take about, um, 10 minutes, okay?

This your first meeting?

- Yeah. - I thought so.

I'm Melanie.

- Esther. - So nice to meet you.

- You kind of had that look on your face. - What look?

Oh, like you're not quite sure what to make of this place.

Well, I've just never really done anything like this before.

I get it. The first time is always strange.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

Ooh, I love the shirt.

- Thanks. It wasn't expensive. - Even better.

It looks really good on you.

Most of these women... they've been through some really horrific things.

Do you think coming here helps?

I do.

I mean, there is something about hearing other people tell you

the terrible things that have happened to them that...

kind of makes you feel better about your own problems.

It's like you're not alone.

Is this how I look?

Honest?

Yes.

Hey, but don't worry. That's why you're here, right?

How come you don't?

I guess most of my damage is on the inside.

We're coming back now, so please feel free to join the group.

Great. Thank you.

- Ready? - Does everyone have to...

talk about what happened to them?

Oh, no, no. You don't have to do anything. You can...

Just sit. A lot of people just come, and they listen, they don't talk.

And then there's others... don't shut up.

Come on, you. Come sit with me.

My husband and son.

What happened to them?

They were coming to pick me up from work one night.

Drunk driver ran a light. That was it.

I'm sorry.

They say it gets better...

but it doesn't.

It never gets easy.

And everyone around you... they forget almost immediately.

I think that's probably one of the most unbearable parts.

They want you to forget, too, but...

That's why I go to the groups.

You can tell your story for as long as you need to,

and no one gets sick of you being in pain and...

no one gets tired of caring.

I lost my baby.