Bump

- (BIRD SQUAWKS) - (THUMP, THUDDING)

('SALSA NA' MA' BY LA EXCELENCIA PLAYS)

Mum.

Mum!

- Oh, my God! - Oh! Fuck.

Morning, darling.

We can still knock in this house, you know.

Can you please turn down the music, Angie?

Do you have to use my first name?

Perhaps I should use your stripper name.

I'm trying to finish my assignment!

OK!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12, 13.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12.

Yes!

I can't find Migaloo.

Oh. I'm sure it's around here somewhere.

It's really triggering when you dismiss my feelings, Mum.

I'm not. But...

Oh, come on, Ol. Come on, don't be weird about stuff.

I am not weird about stuff.

I'm just weird about this one thing.

Where's Dad?

- (MOBILE PHONE BUZZES AND RINGS) - (MAN SIGHS)

Dad, you're supposed to come so I can drive to school today.

Is that the time, is it?

Now I can't find Migaloo

and I've got my big history presentation.

Oly, you don't need a toy.

She's not a toy.

She's a transitional object.

That's psychobabble.

Listen, darling, you've done the work, alright?

We believe in the heirs and the values

of the Enlightenment in this family.

Yeah, I know, Dad.

Presume that's also why you're sleeping in your clothes

on the boat again?

- Are you coming home or what? - Is he driving you to school?

I have three dozen essays by borderline literate teenagers

to mark by noon today, Dom.

I'm working from home. You promised.

Yeah, I'm not...

I'm not gonna, um... not gonna make it in time.

Fuck's sake.

See you tonight, Dad?

Absolutely, darling. I love you.

This kid hasn't met a five-syllable adjective

he can't misuse.

Jorden Beecham. Right?

Oly, you know I can't discuss other students with you.

You given some more thought

to dropping one of your extra subjects this year?

- Maybe you've taken on too much. - I don't need your advice, Mum.

Especially coming from whatever midlife forest it is

that you and Dad are currently lost in.

Oh.

Quoting Dante now. Nice touch.

Glad you're listening in class. I just wondered if you...

Wanted your advice when I said I didn't?

Whoo! Wow, you are, like, off-the-scale moody, kiddo.

Is everything OK?

- (BRAKES SCREECH) - (CRASH, GLASS SHATTERS)

- You alright? - Yeah.

- You? - Yeah.

Great. Now I'm gonna be late for school.

Look, you go. Come on, hurry up. I'll deal with this.

Love you, Mum.

- Sorry. - Ah.

I didn't see ya. I just...

Ohh.

Babes. You're late.

- You OK? - Yeah.

Just Mum's gone psycho. Dad slept on the boat again.

Situation normal.

- Did you bring it? - Oh. Oh!

- Mmm. - I got you.

My mum swears by this stuff.

You can only get it on prescription.

Thanks, Oly.

Mum says it's 'cause I ate that meat pie.

I literally had no time to prep for the French orals this week.

Practise the oral on me.

Oh, it's funny. 'Cause you're a fat fuck and I'm hot?

And it's, like, never gonna happen?

God, I feel like I'm actually getting dumber

just being around this guy.

Yeah.

Lame stoner jocks.

I know. Totally.

Hey.

Ready for the big presentation?

Yeah! I'm a bit nervous.

Did you find Migaloo?

We can go over it at lunch if you want.

- Oh! - (BELL RINGS)

- See you in maths. - OK. 'Bye.

Oly?

I can't find my moon cup.

Oly?

Are you OK? Should I get someone?

Oh, I found it.

Oh... (GRUNTS)

Thank God.

Hello?

No, I'm... I'm kind of OK now.

Here, I'll get you some water.

- Arrgh! Ugh! - Babes, what's going on?

- Let me in. - Ohh!

- Ah! - Oly?

- Reems... - Are you OK?

- (GRUNTS) - What's going on?

I'm legit dying.

Morning.

Hey! Hey, everyone!

- (LAUGHTER) - Val, cheer up.

It's Friday. Come on.

Ah! Cool.

Los Rumberos.

Yeah.

Whoo!

It's gorgeous. Beautiful.

Hey, they're doing a gig in the next couple of weeks.

- You should come to that. - I'd love that. Yeah.

Definitely. Definitely.

- Rosa will be there. - Oh.

Yeah, great.

- Wepa! - (LAUGHS)

Um, Ms Davis?

It's Oly.

- (OLY COUGHS) Girls, out, please.

If you don't have to be here.

- What's happening? - She won't come out.

- Ol? (KNOCKS ON DOOR) - Mum, I think something's wrong.

- Can you open the door, please? - (GROANS)

Darling, can you open the door?

Reems, can you call an ambulance?

OK.

- Are you calling it? - Yeah, I'm calling them.

I'm here, darling.

Alright, guys, nothing else to see here.

Come on, back to class.

Oly, Oly, I'll get you to sip on that. Here.

It'll take the edge off. You can breathe in.

You can hold that yourself.

I'll get your blood pressure.

- (GROANS) - Here we go.

(INDISTINCT RADIO COMMUNICATION)

- (SIREN WAILS) - (GROANS)

- (GRUNTS AND RETCHES) - Hey. OK.

It's quite high. Is she epileptic?

- No. - Had your appendix out before?

No? Can I feel your tummy?

Is it possible she's pregnant?

- (GRUNTS) No.

No way. - Can I just have a quick feel?

I think you might be having a baby.

- No, she's not. - No. No way.

- No way. Fuck that. - Billy, we're in labour.

- (GASPS) - Mum, support her head.

- Support her head. - She's having a baby?

- (SCREAMS) Incoming...

Oly, I'll have to cut your underwear.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Sudden labour... - What the fuck?!

I'm sorry, sweetheart. Let's have a quick look.

- This baby is coming right now. - (COUGHS)

- Now?! - Now.