Suits

Previously, on "Suits..."

There's a whole life going on here

that you're not even a part of.

You think I don't know what I've missed?

I'm not just talking about birthdays, Harvey.

- I got sick again. - What?

Why didn't you tell me?

- Did you know? - Know what?

That Gavin Andrews was gonna ask me

- to launder money for him? - Help me get out of this.

Please, Samantha.

I should have listened to you, but I have a family.

I want to make a perfect baby with you.

- Are you sure? - Absolutely.

And I don't want to just be pulling the goalie.

I want to start trying, and I want to start trying right now.

I know you think we're in competition for the same thing,

- but we're not. - Robert Zane made me a promise:

the next name that goes up on the wall is mine.

Why are you telling me this?

Because we're never gonna trust each other

if you think I'm trying to get ahead of you.

I'm not, because I already am.

Sheila.

It's after 9:00. You're gonna be late.

Then I'll be late, because there's something

- I need to ask you. - Yeah, of course.

- You can ask me anything. - Louis, have you ever gotten

a woman pregnant before?

Okay, uh...

Where is this going?

I'm asking because you haven't gotten this woman

pregnant yet either.

Sheila, we just started trying,

and I think what I've been doing

is more than meeting the standards.

Louis, you are an A/A-plus lover.

- Everyone knows that. - There's a slash?

That's not the point. The point is,

have you ever considered the possibility

- that you're shooting blanks? - No more than I would consider

the possibility that I don't have a face.

I get that, Louis, and you probably have the sperm

of a thoroughbred, but I'd like you

- to get yourself checked. - Sheila, if you're asking

what I think you are, I don't want to go to a place

where people do...

that...

unless it's absolutely necessary.

I get that, too, but the fact is,

I'm not getting any younger and we don't have time

to waste, so I'm getting myself checked,

and I'm asking you to do the same.

So here's the address.

You have an appointment today.

Okay, Sheila, I'll get it done.

Thank you.

Harvey, do you have a second?

- Sure, Louis, what is it? - Did you ever have

to test your sperm?

- What? - Sheila wants me to,

but I don't think I can do it in one of those places.

Louis, I don't want to have this conversation.

It's bad enough that we share the same dentist.

Harvey, come on.

We're trying to have a baby, and I don't have anyone else

to talk to about this.

Okay, what... What's your problem?

Problem is, I've never had to do it under duress before.

I don't know how. Well, why don't you do it

like everyone else does?

Use pictures. I don't use pictures.

I only think of Sheila, and I can't do that

with a bunch of strangers there.

Well, what did you do before Sheila?

- I don't wanna talk about it. - Well, I don't want

- to talk about any of this. - Harvey, come on.

Ah! All right, look...

you can't use pictures; you don't want

to think about Sheila.

Well, then, you'll have to think of something

that turns you on that isn't Sheila.

You mean think about an inanimate object.

Yes, Louis, that's what I mean.

- Have you done that before? - Of course I have.

- What do you use? - No, I'm not telling you that.

Harvey, please.

All right. You want the truth?

Sometimes...

I think about...

tomatoes.

- Really? - Well, if you think about it,

- they're the most sensual fruit. - I thought they were a vegetable?

I am opening my soul

to you here; don't criticize me.

I'm sorry, you're right.

Thank you, Harvey.

Good luck in there, buddy.

Yeah. Tomatoes, holy shit.

Never thought of that.

You wanna tell me what that was all about?

No, because I'm guessing you listened

to the entire conversation, which means you know

- what it's about. - In that case,

what I really want to know is: is it true about the tomatoes?

I think we both know it's not.

Just like we both know it's really strawberries

and whipped cream.

What, too soon? No.

But this is an office, and someone could overhear

and misunderstand that that was 13 years ago.

Really? 'Cause it feels like

12 and 1/2 to me.

- You're an idiot. - No, Louis is an idiot.

Because he believed I think about tomatoes.

And if Sheila wants him to get his swimmers checked,

we shouldn't mock that he has to do that...

in a cup...

- thinking about tomatoes. - You're absolutely right.

We should take it very seriously.

- Tomatoes. - Okay, you know what?

As much as I would love to do this all day,

I came in here to tell you you need to call Marcus.

Marcus? About what?

I don't know, but he left me a message

that he wants you to call him. Well, if he wants me to call,

why would he be leaving a message for you?

Because when Marcus really needs you, he calls me.

He's only ever done that twice,

which means whatever it is he needs, it's important.

All right, Donna, I'll call him.

Today, Harvey.

Today.

Hey, Harvey.

I'm glad you called.

I take it Donna gave you my message?

She did. What's going on?

- I'm getting a divorce. - What?

I know.

And I know it is a big ask,

but I was hoping that you could represent me.

Marcus, hold on. When did this happen?

The last time I was up there everything seemed fine.

Yeah, well, it's not fine, and as much as I hate it,

- this is what she wants. - If you want me to help you,

I'm gonna need to know more than that.

What do you want me to tell you, Harvey?

That we grew apart?

- Well, we did. - Bullshit, I know you.

- It's not the full story. - You're right, it's not,

and I will tell you everything when you get up here.

I didn't say I was coming up there,

and I'm not going to unless you tell me

what's going on, right now.

I slept with someone, all right?

- You did what? - I was stupid,

and I had an affair, and I know you want

- to rip my head off right now... - You're damn right, I do!

'Cause you know better than anyone

- what that does to a family. - Right now, I don't care.

What the hell did you just say to me?

Harvey, you're always telling your clients

that your issues are your issues

and that you don't judge people for what they do.

So right now I don't need to hear how I screwed up.

What I need to hear is that you're on your way up here

to help make sure that I don't lose my kids.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about custody, Harvey,

because Katie hired a shark to represent her.

Which means even if you didn't want this

- to turn into a fight... - I can't risk

not treating it like one, and the best way I know

to avoid a fight is to show up with a howitzer...

And, Harvey...

the biggest howitzer I know is you.

All right, Marcus, I'll come up.

All right, you have your tea. Now let's get you set up

- in the library. - You mean the room

with the books I can literally see from here?

Joy, I don't need to have any attitude.

I can set myself up, Dad, thanks.

These associates get younger

- and angrier, don't they? - That's not an associate;

- that's my daughter. - And you think

I didn't know that?

I can spot a ninth-grade pushback

from a mile away.

Let me ask you something: how'd you manage your kids?

- What do you mean, manage 'em? - I mean, Joy got in trouble

at school, that's why she's here.

And she may be a pain in the ass,

but she finishes her homework in 18 seconds

and all I have today is paperwork.

I got it.

Your daughter won't listen and you don't want

- to talk to her, anyway. - No, I just don't know

what to say to her to get her to hear me.

That's because sometimes there is no way

to get them to hear you.