Impractical Jokers

Good evening and welcome to the first annual

Impractical jokers awards.

That's right. Tonight, we're awarding iconic moments

In silly categories that represent the very heart

Of what "jokers" has been for the past nine years.

And the winner of each category was voted on

By the hollywood foreign press.

Totally not true.

The winner of every category was voted on by our beloved crew.

Thank you.

The hollywood foreign press doesn't even know we're on air.

Hey, so let's find out who gets to take home

The most of these bad boys.

And remember, if you refuse, you lose.

No, not tonight.

No? Oh. Force of habit.

So what are we calling this? Like, the joker?

It doesn't have a ring to it, the impractical joker award.

No, I actually came up with something, boys.

You know how television has the emmys?

Yeah. We have the emmers, right, guys?

Named after beloved rob emmer.

Our friend who used to work on the show

That you've seen a million times.

Sal! I need my job!

Come on, sal, please!

Please, please give me my job back.

I got to be honest, I didn't care too much

If I won or lost until you named it the emmers.

Now I want to sweep every category.

Murr: It's the robert a. Emmer memorial award.

I'll tell you what I'm most excited about today --

The crew is actually the ones giving all the awards, right?

They're all dressed up, which you guys can't see.

But to us, it's stunning.

Yeah, you all look stunning.

Alright, well, let's bring out our first award, shall we?

Steven hopper and allison lane, everyone.

Hi. I'm alli lane, one of the show's execs

And overall keeper of the coin.

And I'm hopper, one of the big spenders of the coin.

And we're here today because we have the honor

Of presenting the award for best challenge.

We're starting off with best challenge?

That's the way the jokers awards goes, guys.

We start the top,

Just like our first season was our best

And we've been slowly going downhill.

It was really difficult to pick

Just five bits out of so many great ones.

So we selected a few of the best that we've done multiple times

And are guaranteed to split sides.

But they'll never split ends.

Yes! Well done.

The nominees for best challenge are...

Cranjis mcbasketball, aka the name game.

Gal ga-donut.

Count ravioli?

Count ravioli? No, stefan.

Oh, stefan, alright.

Beef mcwhatnow?

Oh, my god.

How about a cleo dookieslide?

Cleo?

I don't know what this list is. This is not the list.

Alli: Fly me to balloon.

Sal: Oh, it's on!

Murr: How doesn't she know this?

It's on her hair.

Sal: Ohhhh.

Don't call it a comeback!

She looks like pippi longstocking.

Bad reception.

Walnuts?

No, I'm good.

Two-way mirror, aka now you see me.

Yeah, the nets.

I am, yeah.

I got the nets, that you'd like to see them live.

Steven: And house sitters.

This is the bedroom.

This is -- I got to paint over it.

This is the old tenant. I mean, you know.

It's the girl from "the ring."

Some powerhouses. Powerhouses.

And the emmer goes to...

Oh, my god.

Both: Two-way mirror.

Joe: What an upset. I didn't see that.

That would not have been my choice.

Who accepts the award? Can I take it?

Yeah, yeah, except I'm gonna need it back

Because our budget only has two of those.

Okay.

I'm so excited to see the next award.

I really am. It's going to be exciting

To see who comes out and what they're wearing.

-What a power couple. -Superstars.

Hi, I'm mike damiani. I'm the technical director.

No, you're big mike.

It's true. Run it back.

Hi, I'm big mike, and I'm the technical director.

I'm danny hollis. I'm the audio supervisor.

-Whoo! -Danny!

And we're here to present the best kiss award.

-Best kiss?! -Ooh.

Now, a kiss is like being told by the jokers

That the audio sounds great.

Or the shots look awesome.

But we don't get kisses from the jokers.

We get knuckle sandwiches.

"why didn't you get the shot?"

"why is it so loud?"

"why is it taking so long?"

So before we get a knuckle sandwich right in the kisser,

Here are the nominees.

Murr in "murr marries sal's sister."

I'm gonna break out of this.

Danny: Sal in "abs kisser."

For one second, can I kiss your abs?

That ends the story of you and I.

Q in "find the mouth."

Kiss -- you know, just kiss a bunch of strangers.

You want to try it?

Danny: And joe in "bathrobe."

Sal: Just keep kissing her.

What was your name?

Alright, wow. Stiff competition all around.

And the emmer goes to...

Both: Murr in "murr marries sal's sister."

Murr: Yes! Yes!

That's what I would have voted for.

Really it's sal's victory there.

Joe: Just leave now. Just go. Just get out.

Get out of here. Take your stupid jacket.

Alright, guys, well, stay tuned

Because there's a lot more emmers to come.

Narrator: That's right, joe.

Coming up is the award for best contraption.

And stick around to see who wins the coveted

Best punishment trophy

When the impractical jokers awards continue.

I can't wait to see the next award, guys.

Alright, bring them out.

The art department.

Why does everybody who works on our show look better than us?

Doesn't get more hip than the art department.

That's right. It's insane. Look at these guys.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, should we get into it?

-Yes. -Please.

Alright. This is will thaxton, our production designer,

And this is lucy goldberg, our art director.

And we make a lot of crazy shit for this show.

you do.

We also make a lot of boring stuff

Like fake cabinets to hide cameras.

But this category is just about the cool stuff.

Because that other shit sucks.

it does. It does.

And the nominees for best contraption are...

-Ooh. -Ooh, contraption.

The chair in joe's "massage chair" punishment.

Murr: Joe, you're in a massage chair.

The car from hell

In q's "drive, drive, drive" punishment.

Choke on it!

I think I fixed the squeaking, guys.

The bathroom in sal's "bathroom of horrors" punishment.

And the spaceship in murr's "astro-not" punishment.

-Here we go. -Drink it.

Let's give a round of applause.

You're the real winners here, guys.

You're the real winners.

And the emmer goes to...

The car from hell in q's "drive, drive, drive" punishment.

No, oh, stop the song. We're losing him.

Anyone else as excited as me to see the next award?

let's make it happen.

Look at this!

Wow, stella and chá, everybody.

Well, hi, everybody. I'm stella psomias.

I'm the production manager.

And chá. you know me.

That's right, and we're here to present best stunt

Because we're always...

Both: Stunting on the jokers.