Step by Step

Hey, Dad. Is dinner ready?

Yeah it is, would you tell the other kids, please?

Sure.

Hey everybody, dinner's ready!

Yeah, get your butts down here!

I meant for you to go upstairs and tell them.

Why? They can hear me from here.

Sorry, things really got backed up in the beauty salon.

Well, Frank, thank you for making dinner.

Anytime.

JT, you better find out what everybody wants to drink.

Hey everybody, what do you guys want to drink?

Ginger ale!

Ice?

No! Diet pop!

- Ice? - Yes.

- Lemon? - No, just ice!

JT. One second, Dad.

Dana, Mark, what do you want to drink?

- Milk! - Water!

- What? - JT!

Dad, I'm right here. You don't have to scream.

All right, I'm so tired of this.

All you guys ever do around here is scream.

Yeah, I haven't heard this much screaming

since JT walked in on grandma in the shower.

Please, I don't like reliving that.

Okay. New rule.

From now on there is no screaming in this house. Got it?

Sure, Dad. Got it, Dad.

Good.

Hey, forget the ginger ale! I want root beer!

Shut up, Al! Didn't you just hear Dad?

We're not allowed to scream anymore!

Hey, Carol.

Can I ask you a question?

Hey dig it.

Is baloney still good, if it's like green and fuzzy?

No.

Dude, I'm gonna pay for that later.

Hey, Mark, are you taking Karate,

or did you get some of that bad baloney, too?

I signed up at the recreation center for Karate lessons.

Karate? Mark, that sounds kind of dangerous.

Wouldn't you like to take something safer like... Ceramics?

Mom, I think I've already taken enough activities

that require me to wear an apron.

The kids at school are calling me, "Nerd Boy-ar-dee".

It's true, Carol.

Mark doesn't get any respect.

Last week he was the victim of a drive by wedgie.

Well, I know you want to prove yourself,

but Karate just sounds so violent to me.

I really don't want you to do it.

Carol, just chill.

You know, I mean hey, Karate's not really violent.

The dude who taught me said

that Karate was about self defense and confidence.

Yeah please, Mom, there's a Karate tournament next month

and I want to enter it,

so I can get some respect from the kids at school.

Well... Okay, Mark,

but I am coming with you to tell the instructor

that my little baby bruises very easily.

Yeah, Carol, why don't you let the boy grow some hair, you know what I mean?

Hey. Girls.

Hey, you're just in time to see the new intercom work.

Now you'll be able to speak to anyone

in the house without screaming.

JT, go upstairs, let's test it.

All right.

Joy. Another way for me to talk to JT.

What a helpful link on the information super highway.

Well, I like intercoms.

It's something else for me to talk into, like the phone, or my mirror.

Okay.

Here we go.

JT. Test, one, two, three. Do you read me?

Loud and clear dad. This thing works great.

Use the intercom, stupid!

Sorry, Dad.

No problem.

Frank, what are all those buttons for?

You know, I'm glad you asked.

Because this is not just an intercom.

This is a music system for the entire house, look.

Boy. Country music. Yee-haw.

There's probably just a few bugs left in it here.

Attention all units, attention all units!

Burglary in progress at Eighth and Main. Any unit in the vicinity...

Hey, Frank. It picks up police calls.

That oughta make it much easier to keep track of your kids.

Has anybody seen my sunglasses?

Yeah, you left them in the bathroom.

You sure?

Yeah, go look.

Man, those voices are back.

At least this time they're in English.

Hi, Cody.

What's the matter, little dude?

I just got kicked out of Karate class for not being tough enough.

Well it's not your fault, Mark. That coach was a jerk.

He was one of those muscle-bound morons

that keeps encouraging the other kids to knock each other's heads off.

I'm glad you're not going back.

Well, that's easy for you to say, Mom.

But for me, this is just one more humiliating event in my pathetic little life.

Now I'm never going to be able to prove I'm a man.

Well sweetie, you will just always be my little man.

Hey yeah, Carol, why don't you let me handle this?

All right Mark, I'll fix your bubble bath for you.

You always like that, don't you.

Dude.

Tell me about it.

If it was up to her, I'd still be wearing that little sailor outfit.

I hear ya, little cuz, you know, my Mother didn't understand me either.

Neither did my Dad...

Or any of my teachers.

Matter of fact, my dog used to just stare at me and just shake his head.

Well at least you were a tough guy, so nobody picked on you.

Yeah, I wish. Man.

Hey, when I started Karate,

I was nothing but a skinny sack of bones just like you.

Sorry, dude.

Cody, I didn't want to impose on you before,

but I'm desperate now.

You're a black belt. Do you think you could teach me Karate?

You bet, little cuz.

But I gotta warn you, it's gonna be a lot of work.

I'm gonna to work you night and day to get you ready for that tournament.

Are you with me? I'm with you.

I can't hear you!

I'm with you. I still can't hear you!

I'm with you!

Let me see your war face!

Hi-yah!

Dude! Dude, dude...

I think I just pulled a groin muscle.

Yeah, right.

We're ready, Cody.

That was great!

Was that a professional Karate yell?

No, there's this big honking spider in my van.

Okay, Mark, first exercise we're going to do is the hand slap game.

Al, come here. Put your hands out palm up.

Now, Mark, put your hands on top of hers.

Now, the object of the game is to move your hands out of the way

before Al can slap 'em.

Piece of cake.

I wasn't ready yet.

You ready now?

Yes.

Hey, Mark, dig it man.

There is a myriad of sounds

that you can make in Karate,

but "ow" is not one of them. Okay, dude?

No problem. I was just getting warmed up.

Yeah.

Okay, Al, hit me with your best shot.

- Okay, Al... - Stop!

Okay, all right.

Cool.

Well at least now we know, Mark can take a beating.