Animaniacs: Wakko's Wish

Hey, what do you want from us? We're freezing here.

Rosebud.

Over a century ago, in the foothills of the old river valley...

...there stood the village of Acme Falls.

It was a town filled with happy inhabitants.

-Including the butcher, the baker... -Oh. Hello.

-Hi. -...and the candlestick maker.

-Hi. And a mime.

Well, no place is perfect.

That's true, but Acme Falls was as close to perfect as possible...

-...except for the mime, that is. -Right.

Now, this village was part of a peace-loving picturesque little country...

...called Warnerstock, which was ruled by a benevolent king...

...Sir William the Good.

Everyone loved King William.

Peace and prosperity covered the land.

But then King William passed away...

...and there was a struggle for control of the kingdom.

And the struggle ended with Warnerstock being overthrown...

...in a hostile takeover by the nation of Tictockia.

Now, the new leader of Warnerstock was King Salazar the Pushy...

...a ruthless corporate raider who vowed to rule with a tight fist.

But the international community didn't support his regime...

...and the country's fortunes plummeted.

We're broke.

Salazar's treasury grew dangerously low.

So he sent out an edict for the country to start turning a profit...

...or perish.

To fill the royal coffers, all cities and towns were to be taxed...

...and this included Acme Falls.

There, the king sent his tax collector...

...Baron von Plotz, who was taxing to the extreme.

Uh, that's right, keep the line moving. Please give till it hurts.

Next.

-Well? -Forgive me, Baron von Plotz, sir...

...but I have nothing to pay my taxes with.

You've taken my livestock, my land, my home, and left me with nothing to eat.

Yes, yes, these are hard times. I can hardly keep the fire burning myself.

Yeow!

Next.

The baron squeezed the life out of Acme Falls...

-..until the once prosperous town was crushed.

And so our story begins in the miserable little village of Acme Falls...

...with its pathetic band of down-trodden and destitute townsfolk.

Oh, and a mime too.

And three orphans who live on the street, ever since the orphanage shut down...

...Yakko, Wakko and Dot.

Some folks say that life is cruel

At the orphanage, they fed us inedible gruel

We slept on beds with springs that hurt

The faucets had hot and cold running dirt

The windows were broken The roof was leaky

The walls were cracked The floors were creaky

They shut down the orphanage And now we know

Ah...

Those were the days, we miss it so

And ever since then

I've been feeling low

Another sub-zero morning

And still there's nothing to eat

My feet couldn't get much colder

Our breath is our main source of heat

We're so far below the poverty line We're off the graph

But don't fret, sibs Because things will get better in time

-Then you're gonna laugh -Ha!

Poverty and hunger abound here.

Yeah, it looks like a city dump

There's only one job to be found here

The town needs a new speed bump

Acme Falls was a paradise

Happiest place on Earth

But the tax collector's avarice

Took us for all we're worth

My coffers are overflowing

All of our shelves are bare

My profit margin is growing

We're broke, it seems so unfair

Life's so lousy we can no longer cope

You gotta cheer up And never ever give up hope

-All of the shops are closing -Things couldn't get much worse

Even my nuts are frozen

Be careful with that last verse

Hey, step up and try our elixir It's good for what hurts

-Whatever ails you it can fix, sir -And it's great on desserts

Drat, the temperature's falling

I love when the weather is cool

A new ice age is calling

Look, I can freeze my drool

I have hopes and dreams of ruling the Earth But here I sit

-Watching Pinky make ice sculptures -Out of spit, narf

This old tree is finished

Our acorn supply's gone too

So for dinner We're having creamed spinach

All I can say is spew

As a town, we're so down, so we mope

You gotta cheer up And never give up hope

We can't cope

You gotta cheer up And never give up hope

Are you a dope? -Nope

Just cheer up

And never ever give up hope Hope, hope, hope, hope

Yeah

And so the folks in Acme Falls hoped through the winter.

They hoped through the spring.

They hoped through the summer and they hoped through the fall.

But after a year of hoping...

...hope was running out for poor little Dot, who needed an operation.

And while Yakko stayed behind to look after his sister...

...Wakko went out into the world to seek his fortune.

And the town waited for Wakko's return.

They waited through the winter. They waited through the spring.

They waited through the summer and they waited through the fall.

And by the following winter, they were still waiting...

...when a young mouse's fancy turned to romance.

Oh, Pharfignewton. Pharfignewton.

Wherefore art thou, Pharfignewton?

Oh. Therefore you art.

And lookie. Narf.

I brought you a snacky-wacky.

Ha-ha-ha. Troz!

Feeding you is like taking a really smelly bath.

Pinky, I need you. -Pharfignewton.

- I didn't know you could talk. -Pinky, stop this foolishness.

You know, Pharfignewton, you sound a little like Brain.

Ooh. Ha-ha-ha.

And you bop like Brain too. Heh.

Brain, ha-ha. We were just talking about you.

I knew I'd find you out here wasting time with this horse. Come.

Pharfignewton and I have pledged our hearts to each other.

Pinky, that is a horse. You are a mouse.

Oh, Brain, don't be so intolerant.

Why can't the horses and the mice live together in harmony?

Along with the fairies and the wood sprites and the bean sprouts.

I stand corrected, Pinky.

-That is a horse. You are an imbecile. -Thank you.

-Now, come, we must prepare for tonight. -Why? What are we going to do tonight?

-Guess. -Try to take over the world?

-Bingo. -Egad! I love bingo. Narf.

It's so much more fun than trying to take over the--

Unh! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hm?

Hm? Huh?

Oh, the train bringing Wakko

Is a-rolling down the track

I'm sure that is the train my brother's on

Wakko went to see the world And now he's coming back

I've missed him every day That he's been gone

He went to seek his fortune

And now he's returned

Bringing back the treasures Of everything he's learned

Oh, the train with my brother Is a-coming closer

Bearing Wakko down the track-o

Back home

Chh-chh-chh-chh-chh.

Hi.

My friends of Acme Falls, I give you my fortune...

...a ha'penny.

Uh... Aah!

-A ha'penny? -It's real.

He has a whole ha'penny.

I've got a ha'penny today

He's got a ha'penny, hooray

- How did you do's it? -All work and no play

-He chopped wood -He chopped suey

- I pitched horseshoes and hay -He milked jokes and cows for his fee

It was more than I thought it would be

An entire full year's salary

And now [I've got a ha'penny

He's got a ha'penny today

He's got a ha'penny, hooray

All those days of hard work And here's your reward

Now there's nothing in this world That I can't afford

You can buy any toys you pick

And eat candy until you're sick

Plus a gourmet meal for monsieur

And still you'd never be poor

Because he's got a ha'penny today

He's got a ha'penny, hooray

Our water tower shanty We can finally repair

I can even buy my brother Some new underwear

It's like I won the lottery

Because he's got a ha'penny

I'll buy burgers at the butcher's And blintzes at the baker's

Groceries at the grocer's

Seasons tickets for the Lakers

-You can buy my new elixir -You can buy it by the bucket

-There's just one little problem -It's lousy, you should chuck it

It's so hard to believe It really happened to me

I'm going shopping with my ha'penny

He's going shopping with his ha'penny

Uh, newses from the village to report, sir.

What is it?

Uh, it seems that one of the townsfolk is happy.

What do you mean?

Wakkos Warners has come into the possession of a ha'penny.