Diana: In Her Own Words

Right...

Questions, here we are.

Yeah, has anything come up since the last meetings?

Any after thoughts?

Well, only about being accused very early on

of stopping him hunting and shooting.

Your first memory after being born?

Anything as a child?

I mean, it was a very unhappy childhood.

I remember seeing my father slap my mother across the face

and I was hiding behind a door.

And she was crying.

The press were being unbearable

following my every move.

He sat me down and he said, "Will you marry me?"

I thought the whole thing was hysterical, getting married.

It was so grown up.

And here was Diana, a kindergarten teacher.

I mean, the whole thing was ridiculous.

I once heard him on the telephone saying,

"Whatever happens, I'll always love you."

And I told him I'd listened at the door.

We had a filthy row.

And I realized I had taken on an enormous role

but I had no idea what I was going into.

But no idea.

I remember him coming to Althorp to stay.

He came with his labrador.

My sister was all over him like a bad rash.

I thought, "God, he must really hate that."

And I kept out the way.

I remember being a fat, podgy, non-makeup, unsmart lady

but I made a lot of noise and he liked that.

And he just came up to me after dinner, we had a big dance

and he said, "Will you show me the gallery?"

For a 16-year-old, for someone like that to show any attention was just so...

sort of amazed.

"Why would anyone like him be interested in me?"

Anyway, that was it for about two years.

Saw him off and on with Sarah.

Sarah got frightfully excited about the whole thing.

Then she saw something different happening...

which I hadn't twigged on to.

When he had his 30th birthday dance, I was asked too.

"Well, why is Diana coming as well?"

And I said, "Well, I don't know, but I'd like to come."

"Oh, all right."

And I had a very nice time at the dance.

Fascinating.

I was asked to stay with the de Passes in July by Philip de Pass.

"Would you like to come 'cause we've got Prince of Wales staying and..."

"...you're young blood, you might amuse him."

So I said, "Okay."

The first night, we sat down on a bale

and I said, you know, "You looked so sad..."

"...when you walked up the aisle at St. Paul's..."

...with Lord Mountbatten's funeral."

And I said, "My heart bled for you, I watched you."

"I thought, 'This is wrong, you are lonely.'"

You should be with somebody to look after you, etcetera."

And the next minute he leapt on me, practically.

And it was very strange because it was almost as if...

Like a... it wasn't a magnet effect.

I thought, "Well, this isn't very cool."

I thought men were supposed to not to be so obvious.

But I hadn't got anything to go by because I'd never had a boyfriend.

I'd always kept them away.

Thought they were all trouble and I couldn't handle it.

Emotionally, I was very screwed up, I thought.

And he said, "Oh, you must come to London with me tomorrow.

"I've got to go and work at Buckingham Palace."

I thought, "This is too much."

I said, "No, I can't, I'm sorry."

I thought, "How will I explain me presence..."

"...at Buckingham Palace when I'm supposed to be staying with Philip?"

And then it sort of built up from there.

Charles used to ring me up and say, "Would you like to come for a walk?"

"Would you like to come for barbecues?"

So I said, "Yes, please."

I thought this was all wonderful.

A lot of admiration for an episode on the riverbank at Balmoral

when you looked at the press through your mirror.

Did you know that was going to happen?

Have you ever had feedback

on who you first spoke to or what you first...

Your first memory after being born?

Anything as a child?

It's really the smell of the inside of my pram.

What did it smell of?

Children's parties...

How did you first learn about the divorce?

As a child, any ideas of futures or ambitions?

No.

Always felt very different from everyone else.

Very detached.

Had no idea where.

And said to my father when I was the age of 13,

"I know I'm going to marry someone in the public eye."

"I don't know which way."

-At 13? -Yes.

Thinking an ambassador's wife, actually.

Not the top one.

It was nice being in a flat with girls, you know, I loved that.

It was great, laughed my head off there.

DIANA'S KENSINGTON FLATMATES

My three girls were wonderful.

Star performers, loyalty beyond belief.

I kept myself to myself.

I wasn't interested in having a full diary.

By the time I got to the top of the school

all my friends had boyfriends.

But not me.

I knew somehow I had to keep myself very tidy

for whatever was coming my way.

Any chases involving the media in the car?

Oh, lots of them.

But I always made sure that I went through

just as the light was going to red.

So they were very stuck.

Sometimes I cycled, some days I didn't.

Did they chase you on the bike?

Oh, they chased me everywhere.

We're talking about thirty of them, we're not talking about two.

JANUARY 1981 KLOSTERS, SWITZERLAND

Charles rang me up from Klosters, saying, "I've got something to ask you."

Instinct in a female, you know what's coming.

Anyway, I sat up all night with my girls, saying,

"What do I do? What do I say?"

By that time I had realized there was somebody else around.

I'd been staying at Bolehyde with the Parker Bowleses an awful lot.

I couldn't understand why Camilla kept saying to me,

"Don't do this, don't do that."

She knew so much about what he was doing privately.

Eventually I worked it all out.

The next day I went to Windsor,

I arrived about sort of 5 o'clock.

He sat me down and he said, "Will you marry me?"

And I laughed.

I remember thinking, "This is a joke."

So I said, "Yeah, okay."

And he was deadly serious.

And he said, "You do realize that one day you will be Queen."

A voice said to me inside,

"You won't be Queen, but you'll have a tough role."

So I thought to myself, "Okay."

So I said, "Yes."

And I said, "I love you so much, I love you so much."

And he said, "Whatever love means."

Said it then.

So I thought that was great!

I thought he meant that.

How much thought did you really give the proposal?

A lot, actually.

In my immaturity, which was enormous

I thought he was very much in love with me

which he was, he sort of had the besotted look about him

looking back at it, but it wasn't the genuine sort.

You know, "Who is this girl who's so different?"

But he couldn't understand it

'cause his immaturity is quite good in that department.

And um...

It was like a call for duty, really.

Go and work with people.

Whenever he rang me up, he said, "Poor Camilla Parker Bowles."

"I've had her on the telephone tonight..."

"...and she says there's lots of press at Bolehyde."

"She's having a very rough time.

And I never complained about the press to him

because I didn't think it was my position to do so.

And I said, "How many press are out there?"

He said, "Oh, at least four."

And I thought, "My God, there's 34 out here."

But I never told him.

CLARENCE HOUSE ROYAL RESIDENCE

Do you remember what your first ever memory was?

You may recall a picture of me sobbing in a red coat

when he went off on his aeroplane.

That was nothing to do with him going.

The most awful thing had happened before he went.

I was in his study talking to him about his trip.

The telephone rang. It was Camilla.

Just before he was going for five weeks.

So I thought, "Shall I be nice or shall I just sit here?"

So I thought I'd be nice, so I left them to it.

And it just broke my heart, that.

So, I organized lunch.

We had lunch, and...

very tricky, very tricky indeed.

She said, "You're not going to hunt, are you?"

I said, "No."

"Oh, I just wanted to know that."

But as far as she was concerned that was her communication.

I was still too immature to understand all the messages coming my way.

And then someone in his office told me

that my husband has had a bracelet made for her.

I walked into this man's office one day

and I said, "Ooh, what's in that parcel?"

"Oh," he said, "you shouldn't look at that."

I said, "Well, I'm going to look at it."

So, I opened it and there was the bracelet.