Family Guy

Hey, welcome to Bonnie's 29th birthday party.

I ca... I can't keep this up.

She's 46.

Here, we brought you guys an orchid from Trader Joe's,

because we don't know

or care about any of your interests.

Well, I put together some videos

for Bonnie's party.

Here we are on our honeymoon.

Yeah, Cabo was great.

We even went back for our 10th anniversary.

Better wrap it up, honey, tide's coming in.

Well, let's break for presents,

but after that, I'll show you Susie's birth video,

and I'll tell you, she fell out of there

like an orange out of an old dress sock.

Ugh, I have to text Rupert what a train wreck this is.

Hey, I want real things.

Kind of weird they're keeping all our jackets in the tub.

Bonnie?

I told you, Joe,

when we're alone,

you can call me "Bonald."

No, i-it's me, Brian.

Is that your real name?

I mean, are you... are you okay?

Sorry, am I allowed on the bed?

I guess so.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I have something in my eye.

Yes, you do.

It looks like sadness.

Come on, you can tell me.

I'm your neighbor's dog.

I don't know.

It's just that when I was young,

I had so many things

I wanted to do with my life,

but now, I'm 46,

and all I've ever done is take care of Joe.

And now you feel like you never had a chance

to be your true self.

Yeah.

I know just how you feel.

I mean, I'm happy that Peter found me

and gave me a home, but

sometimes I wonder

if I'd be happier on my own.

Exactly.

It's like sometimes, I feel...

Trapped?

No, I was going to say, "like the von Trapps."

You know, unable to leave their home in Austria.

Oh. Well, that still is remarkably close.

Thanks for being so nice to me, Brian.

Why are you scratching behind my ear?

I... I don't... I don't know.

I thought it might make you feel better.

It does feel kind of nice.

You're a good girl.

You're going to be okay.

I'm... I'm sorry.

I did... I didn't... I didn't mean...

No, it's okay.

Um... I better go downstairs

before Joe realizes I'm gone.

And before Peter

gets into the stuff that's not for the party.

Aw, Halloween candy!

Peter, get out of the pantry.

Ah, I can't believe I just kissed my friend's wife.

I'm a bigger scumbag than Spock.

I heard that there was a Romulan ship

spotted in our sector, which means...

Hey, hey.

Kids, this morning, Principal Shepherd

wanted to say a few words.

Thank you, Mrs. Abbott.

Uh, before I start, are these the normal kids

or kind of the "dur, dur" ones?

It's a healthy mix.

Good morning, children.

It's that time of the year again

to fulfill your community service requirement

by signing up for volunteer work.

Do we get to choose our own jobs?

No, no, no, no.

The jobs will be assigned randomly

but the cooler and prettier students

have the better jobs.

For instance, blonde chick in the third row

will wash my car this afternoon

while, Little Miss Frumpkin with all the questions,

will work in an old folks' home.

Is "frumpkin" good?

No, no.

Brian, what are you doing up so late?

Ah, I'm having trouble sleeping.

I got to tell you something.

I kissed Bonnie last night.

What?!

I know! I know! It was a huge mistake.

So let's just do two or three high-fives

and then forget it ever happened.

Brian, if Joe finds out, he'll kill you.

Yeah, no kidding.

That's why you can't tell anybody.

Promise me.

Oh, don't worry. Don't worry.

I'm great at keeping secrets.

Well, except for that one time

you discovered my hidden shame.

Peter?

Brian.

I'm, uh, I'm sorry.

I'm one of these guys now.

I'm sorry, Brian, I'm sorry.

Mrs. Parkhurst?

I'm Meg, your new student volunteer.

Oh, you must be my new student volunteer.

Yeah, I just said that.

What's your name, dear?

It's Meg.

Can... can I get a new person?

Nonsense, come in,

and between you and me,

I hate my new student volunteer.

That ugly little Meg.

She says she's a girl,

but she certainly has a boy's body odor.

Oh, come on in.

Peter, Joe and Bonnie are here for game night.

Game night?

Yeah, I figured it was the least we could do,

since you pulled up a beheading video on your phone

at their party and showed it to everyone.

It was really more about how loud my phone can get.

Peter, we're doing this.

All right.

But the Operation game is out of batteries,

so I'll have to make the noise.

You hear that?

That's the sound of bad surgery.

All right, I'm awesome at charades.

Guys are going first.

Okay, go.

Uh, About a Boy.

Uh, Four... Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Uh, Nine Months.

Notting Hill.

Yes, it was Notting Hill.

I'm going to go get more wine.

Oh, hey.

Hi, Brian.

Um, listen, about the other night.

You haven't told anyone, have you?

No, no, of course not.

I was going to ask if you had.

Hey, Brian, can you bring me up a snack?

I'm supposed to be in bed.

Look, the other night was great,

but it was a mistake.

You're right.

Oh, man, what?

Yeah, I me... I mean, there's...

there's definitely some kind of connection between us, but...

I felt it, too,

but maybe in another life, huh?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

This could never work.

Like porn movies before sound.

Ooh.

Oh, there you are.

Come on, Bonnie, it's Joe's turn.

Okay, here we go, uh, uh, crippled guy...

uh, cheating wife...

uh, uh, cheating wife of a crippled guy...

Uh, dog... some... something with a dog... uh, dog kiss.

I-I-I, uh, I think that's, uh, time.

Your, your turn is over.

Oh, sounds like, uh, sounds like

dog kisses crippled guy's wife

at your party.

Wait, wait! I know it.

The other night at your party, Brian kissed Bonnie.

What?

Bonnie, is this true?

Oh, my God.

I know, making out with a dog?

Can you even imagine a woman who possibly does that for real?

Uh, hi, Joe.

Hi, Brian.

Look, I-I want to apologize for what happened.

I-I-I didn't mean to kiss Bonnie.

Everybody had a little too much to drink.

It-it just happened.

Uh, I hope we're still cool.

Hey, don't worry about it.

It was a crazy party.