Dead Man on Campus

Golden years

gold

whop whop whop

don't let me hear you say

life's taking you nowhere

angel

come, get up, my baby

look at the sky, life's begun

the nights are warm, and the days are young

come, get up, my baby

there's my baby, lost, that's all

once I'm beggin' you

save her little soul

golden years

gold

whop whop whop

come, get up, my baby

last night, they loved you

opening doors and pulling some strings

angel

come, get up, my baby

in walked luck, and you looked in time

never look back

walk tall, act fine

come, get up, my baby

I'll stick with you, baby

for a thousand years

nothing's gonna touch you

in these golden years

golden years

gold

whop whop whop

come, get up, my baby

run for the shadows

run for the shadows

run for the shadows

in these golden years

some of these days, and it won't be long

gonna drive back down where you once belonged

in the back of a dream car, 20-foot long

don't cry, my sweet

don't break my heart

doin' all right, but you gotta get smart

wish upon wish upon day upon day

I believe, o lord

I believe all the way

look at my baby, lost, that's all

once I'm beggin' you

save her little soul

don't lose it.

Get up, my baby

run for the shadows

run for the shadows

run for the shadows

in these golden years

come, get up, my baby

your work study is in the housing office.

6-year medical program...

biology, organic chemistry...

full academic scholarship?

Yeah.

I want to keep focused on my career track.

OK, but this is a lot of credits.

Be sure you don't fall behind.

I think I can handle it.

I'll stick with you, baby

for a thousand years

nothing's gonna touch you

in these golden years

Boy: I don't know what to tell you.

Dudes.

It didn't go as far as I thought.

Stop!

Hi.

Hey.

Boy: Why are you going through my stuff?

Ma, why are you putting the flannel sheets on?

It's September. You want me to sweat my ass off?

What do you want?

You must be one of my roommates.

I'm Josh. The single's mine.

I called it.

That seems fair.

Oh, sorry.

Girl: So, anyway... God, I'm starving.

Girl: Me, too.

Girl: He lets you out early every class.

Girl: Really?

Mm-hmm.

Huh?

Hola.

What are you doing?

Oh. Hey, you must be Josh.

Listen, I'm sorry...

Are you guys getting stoned again?

Man!

That is classic!

Take these. We would've been here sooner,

but these guys kept stopping off for snacks.

Hey, Cooper,

you were the one who had the munchies.

Ha ha ha ha!

We should've never have gotten high in Boston!

Oh, man, that was great.

Man: Light up another one, man.

Ohh.

Yeah. Hmm.

Josh...

Where do you think we should put the bong?

In the closet?

No. This is a showcase bong.

Take a look at it, huh?

Hey, do you want a hit?

Uh...

No.

I just brushed my teeth.

Josh, you're not going to bed, are you?

Actually, yeah. I got to get up early tomorrow.

Shit. I just met these people downstairs,

and I told them to come up for a few drinks.

But you know what? They're right outside.

I'll get rid of them.

No, no, it's OK.

Really?

Are you sure? Because I can tell them to get lost.

No. It's cool. I...

let me put on some pants.

All right.

Hey, guys, come on in.

Hey, this is Josh. This is my new roommate.

Josh, say hello, huh?

What's going on, guys? How you doing? All right?

Good to see you again.

Who wants some drinks?

What's going on? Over there, guys.

Over there.

Yeah. This is a party.

Show me the muff.

Pass those out. There you go.

Boy: What the fuck?

Turn that shit off!

Hey, buddy.

You must be Kyle.

I'm Cooper.

I'm not your buddy...

Buddy.

OK.

Oh, look at that.

I see you like girls.

You must be the product of an all boys school.

Catholic all boys school.

Cath... holy Mary, mother of god.

You're so horny you've turned mean.

You keep that music off,

asshole,

or I'm going to bash your fucking head in!

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.

You're being an asshole.

Now, you go around bashing people's heads in,

girls aren't going to think you're cool.

They're going to think you're a steroid freak

with a pixie dick and an ass for a brain.

Really?

Heh heh.

Everybody, this is Kyle.

Give him a beer. Come on, let's start the music.

Let's go. Let's get this party started, huh?

Cooper: All right, where were we?

Martinis, huh?

All right. Incoming.

Hey.

Hey, I'm pickle.

I just thought you could use these things.

Oh, your name's pickle, huh?

What'd you do, knock off an appliance store?

I had some stuff shipped here.

It kind of reminds me of home, you know?

That blender reminds you of home?

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Martinis!

What is that?

That's a math award.

Looks like a dildo.

Hey, Zeke, look. It's a dildo.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

Hey...

Here's your dildo.

Thanks.

Ohh.

So, Josh...

Tell me about yourself.

I don't know. Uh...

I'm from Indiana,

and I'm in the 6-year medical program.

So you, like, studied in high school?

Wow, that's cool.

You know, I had a couple of friends who did that.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, she's nice.