Watch the Sky

Shawny?

Wake up, my sweet boy.

Shawn, I have something really special I wanna show you.

We have to get going or we're gonna miss it, okay?

Mom?

Let's go.

Wake up.

- Where do you think you're going?

Going on an adventure.

- You never take me on any of your adventures.

Can I go?

Please?

Sorry, Stink, that's no.

Well, why?

Simple.

You smell.

You are so mean.

Hey!

Hey, geek face!

You know, I was actually thinking to myself

how excited I was to see you this morning.

Really?

Then I puked in my mouth

and the thought eventually subsided.

Subsided?

That's a big word for you, buddy.

You like that?

That was just for you.

Now get your gear in the rear

and let's get this show on the road.

All right.

Son.

- Hey, thanks for getting the supplies.

No problem, bro.

There's actually this really hot TA

in my bio class this year,

totally wants to do experiments on my bod, obviously.

So when you called asking for the stuff,

I said, "Hey, let the experimentation begin."

Gross.

Help me, father.

They're all insane.

Purify them or just take them away from my life.

Either way is fine with me.

Father,

please help us.

I can't do this on my own.

It's good to see you.

Good to see you, man.

What is that?

It's a map, smarty.

- You don't have a GPS, Mr. Techy?

Of course I do.

It's just...

The age of machines and all,

I feel like my generation depends on it way too much.

I mean,

the average teenager doesn't know

how to navigate a single block,

let along, know how to use a simple map.

And the day will come

when the sun decides to emit a large CME,

whipping out our power grids.

How're we gonna get around?

Complete chaos.

That's deep, bro.

You managed to impress and depress me at the same time.

Stop pushing me then.

- I just like my GPS because I like to listen

to the sexy British chick.

"Turn left here.

"Make a u-turn."

Figures.

All right.

Head up to Woodshire Fields,

take the 15 all the way north.

Woodshire?

That's where we went camping with Dad, right?

Yeah.

It's got a lot of land to conduct a successful launch.

All right.

Well that's a long haul.

I should probably go in and say hi to Dad then, right?

No, he's still asleep

with Shannon.

- Are you still being mean to her?

She's a good person, Shawn.

I don't understand why you're not being nice to her.

Give her a chance, you know?

- I hate that he's trying to replace mom.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Shawn,

it's been three years, buddy.

I know that doesn't seem like a long time

but Dad's gotta move on

and Shannon is helping him do that.

Look at me.

Nobody can replace mom.

Nobody.

Wherever she is,

she'd want Dad to be happy, right?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Of course I'm right.

Besides, Shannon comes with a really cool little sister.

Step sister.

She stinks.

Okay.

She's a really cool, smelly little sister.

- Well you don't have to live with her.

And give us life everlasting.

Amen.

- Where in the hell is that woman?

Goddamn it, woman.

50 years ago,

you used to be this hot little, spunky Italian thing.

Now you're ugly and slower than molasses.

And what the heck are you needing

to pray for a whole hour about anyway, huh?

- I was praying for your soul, dear.

And that the good Lord would take it soon.

- Well the sooner the better, girlfriend.

Now I hope you didn't hide my pill bottle from me this time.

- And why would I do that?

What?

- And why would I do that?!

Damn.

I swear, between my bad hearing

and you talking like you got a mouth full of oatmeal,

no wonder we don't communicate.

- Loving the tunes out here, bro.

What you reading, dork?

"Fire Fighter's Manual to Disaster Prevention."

You wanna be a fireman now?

Uncle Steve gave it to me.

He thought I'd like it

because of my interest in extraterrestrials.

Extraterrestrials?

It's a fireman's book.

What's it got to do with ET?

- Right now I'm reading chapter 16.

It's talking about the potential of UFO invasion, right?

And it says that fireman are

our first line of defense against aliens.

What?

- No way. - Yeah.

You're messing with me.

- Dude, it even gets into how radiation

is an alien's natural defense.

It's really detailed.

That's crazy.

- Why would a fire officer's book

have something about an alien invasion?

- It was written in 1992 by two veteran fire officers,

one of which witnessed the Los Angeles air raid of '42.

Los Angeles air raid?

What is that?

Oh, come on.

Are you kidding me?

No, nothing.

Oh god.

Sorry, space man.

- I can't believe you're my brother.

Hey, the feeling is mutual.

All right, well, it was 1942,

three months after the US declared

their part in World War II,

when the Los Angeles Air Defense Unit went into full affect

for the first time ever.

Army forts all across the coast line

fired thousands of shells into the night sky

and then they just stopped.

The event is still in question to this day.

That is insane.

Yeah, right?

Well, hey, maybe it was just,

you know, like a training exercise

masked as an alien invasion, right?

Scare the masses, mind control.

- Or it coulda been the aliens doing a little experiment.

Trying to test our military's defenses.

Speaking of experiment,

I think we're here.

Oh, this is gonna be awesome.

- I'm just saying, where did you put my pill?

- In the medicine cabinet.

- Yeah, even though I take them at the damn table.

What in Sam Hill?

Oh my.

Is it dead?

Oh, it looks really sick.

Maybe we should call a vet.

A vet?

What the heck's that look like to you, woman, huh?

A chihuahua?

Oh no.

I, no, I...

Call a vet.

Oughta have one take your butt out to pasture.

Oh my.

- I swear, if Roberto's been feeding