Switching Channels

This is Christy Colleran for Satellite News Network here in downtown Chicago,

covering stories the world over 24 hours a day.

Here he comes.

Rolling.

State's Attorney Roy Ridnitz today announced that he would challenge Governor Holt

in the upcoming Democratic primary.

It's a matter of public record

that these two men haven't agreed on almost any issue.

The campaign promises to be a good old Chicago dogfight.

Yeah!

It's over, ma'am. We got him.

The captain just informed me

the police have finally captured the infamous Southside sniper.

We'll keep you informed.

Here you go, Christy.

It may look like rain to the rest of you,

but on Lake Shore Drive it's sunshine all the way.

Aah! That's right, Chicago!

Hit me! Beat me! I love it!

This is Christy Colleran, Satellite Network News.

Five, four, three, two, one. Hit it!

It's 4:00 a.m.,

and here are the fast-breaking stories from around the world.

Today is a red-letter day for the Chicago county jail.

Three hours after the State Supreme Court upheld the death sentence

of convicted cop killer Ike Roscoe,

the authorities started dusting off this old chair.

Chicago's first electrocution in 27 years

is scheduled for July 15th at midnight.

This man is soft on crime.

He's soft on the Soviets.

He's absolutely limp on a voluntary drug-testing system...

Limp? How can you be limp on that?

Governor, please.

Gentlemen!

We're out of time.

I hate the Russians as much as you.

Shit! Let's go.

So

that's what it's like to roll a car

at the Cicero stock car racetrack.

For SNN News, this is Christy...

Christy...

What the hell is my last name?

This just in.

At 12:00 noon today, 15,000 students from all 50 states

will be joined electronically

to play Darktown Strutters' Ball on the kazoo

for the President of the United States.

The President is a former kazoo player

and may wish to join in.

Hey, wait a minute!

We're doing a story about 15,000 kazoo players

and the President of the United States?

I can't believe...

I think my ex-wife is cracking up.

What do you mean, give her a vacation?

Ha ha ha!

Give her a vacation.

Ha-ha!

Miss.

Ah-choo!

Oh! It's the fresh air.

Thank you.

Christy Colleran.

Bienvenue, Madame Colleran.

Oh, no! That's Miss Colleran.

Mademoiselle Colleran.

We have a double bed. Is that okay?

I don't care what size... Oh!

Uh...

I'm--I'm very sorry.

No problem.

You were saying s-something?

We have lots of things here for you to do.

We have sailing.

Beautiful sailboats for one or two.

Oh!

Need a lift?

Hi. Yes, please.

Hang on.

Here you go. Grab my hand.

Aah!

Hi.

Canoes are kind of tricky, huh?

Yeah.

I'll get you a towel.

Oh!

There you go.

Um... Do you mind if I do my own hair?

Sure.

Well, uh, I guess I owe you one.

How about if I take you to dinner?

Just be sure you keep your credit card in your pocket.

So...

What do you do when you're not pulling women out of the lake?

I run a sporting goods company in New York.

We make tennis balls, gym equipment and...

Who cares?

God, your hair looks amazing in the moonlight.

So does yours.

Thank you.

Thanks, Henry. We'll just be a minute.

Yes, sir.

She's here, Sully.

Oh. I'm up.

Sully!

What?

They're taking him to the jail right now!

Hi, Abby.

Christy! Welcome back. How was your vacation?

Incredible.

I brought someone back. I'd like you to meet Mr. Bingham.

Hi.

Where's the ayatollah?

In the pit.

I'll just be 10 minutes, Blaine.

Anything I can do to help?

I think after eight years in a marriage, I should tell him myself.

I'll just be 10 minutes.

I can't handle being away from you for 10.

I'll make it five.

Uh, we haven't been apart for the last...482 hours.

Yes, sir.

Stand back!

Late show's broadcasting all week from the Summit in Belgium.

How many people are you sending?

One. One?

Nothing happens at summits.

No one knows where the hell Belgium is.

Right. Call on line two.

Ludlow!

Jesus, what an airhead!

Sully!

Yeah. Sully!

Christy, get downtown. They just moved Roscoe from the pen to the jail.

Three weeks in Canada, and this is my welcome?

No! Welcome back! Thank God you're back.

Get down to the jail.

I can't.

This is the story of the century!

I've got news of my own.

Get back!

The cameraman fell down!

We got a dog's point of view!

And so, with the clang of the cell doors,

and the hiss of 120,000 volts of Illinois power less than 12 hours away...

Nice image, Ludlow.

...now being led to his lonely, private vigil...

What a Twinkie!

...waiting, perhaps eagerly,

for his own personal death knell and deliverance.

For Satellite News Network, I'm Karen Ludlow.

Chicago county jail, Chicago.

Dear God!

Save me from reporters that have read a book.

Missed you. Nobody to fight with.

I've never been happier.

You romantics think divorce is a passport to happiness.

If you're unhappy, why didn't you contest the divorce?

Because you didn't ask for a dime,

and you accused me of having an affair with Margaret Thatcher.

You're lucky I didn't claim the war in Afghanistan.

We've had great stories, haven't we?

That's your problem.

Everything's a story to you.

There's never been a story more important to me than you.

On our first anniversary,

you sent me to cover the 10-second war in Grenada.

Is it my fault a volcano decided to erupt?

It's your fault we had to go cover it.

We're in the news business. You can't experience lava indoors.

I'm quitting the news business.

You're always quitting the news business.

Why is there a fire on channel four, and we don't have it?

What?

Breakfast, boss, and 24-hour ratings.

How are they?

They dropped two points, but Christy's back now.

Oh. Ludlow's not working out, huh?

Yes, she's working out.

It's not her fault the news is lousy.

Same healthy breakfast, I see.

Why don't you relieve Ludlow at the jail?

I told you I'm quitting. Yeah.

I'm tired of space shuttles and trips to Bhopal.

Sure.

I'd like a nice, normal, relaxed kind of life.

Oh. One other thing. I'm getting married.

I can't leave you alone for a minute.

Boss, I got a tape of that fire you wanted!

I thought you were happy with the divorce.

Who is he?

I met him on vacation.

He's not in the news business.

What are you going to talk about?

Who needs to talk? Yeah, right.

We're getting married the day after tomorrow in New York.

Jesus, why so soon?

I didn't feel like being engaged for four years and eight months again.