House

Deep-fried shrimp. And lobster.

I never had lobster. What, do they boil them or grill them?

Which one's better? Just get them both.

And I know I need a strawberry malt.

And then there's those chocolate donuts, they come in a box.

We'll do our best to accommodate. Tomorrow you'll be moved to a holding cell.

That's where you'll get your last meal.

You also have a constitutional right to a spiritual advisor of your choice.

No, I don't need none of that.

One last thing to think about.

After I read the execution warrant,

you'll be given an opportunity to make a statement.

You might wanna take some time and think about what you wanna say

as your final words.

Yo, Clarence! You hear that?

A spiritual advisor of my choice.

Don't matter, you're going to hell anyway.

- You think I'll get another stay? - You should.

Supreme Court said it ain't right to kill retards.

Cut the chatter!

Exercise time.

Be back in an hour. Enjoy.

Huh? What?

Why did you hit me so many times, Clarence?

You know why!

- You could have stopped. - You stabbed me in the back, man.

- Look, I never... - You couldn't fight fair?

Like you did?

I had a wife and three kids.

You were a sick bastard! Open the door! Open the door!

Clarence!

What'd I ever do to you, man?

You better stay in this place.

I was just minding my own business.

You can't go in there.

Who are you? And why are you wearing a tie?

I'm Dr. Cuddy's new assistant. Can I tell her what it's regarding?

Yes. I would like to know why she gets a secretary and I don't.

I'm her assistant, not her secretary. I graduated from Rutgers.

I didn't know they had a secretarial school.

Well, I hope you took some classes in sexual harassment law.

Does the word "ka-ching" mean anything to you? I'm going in now.

Dr. House, we are in the middle of a meeting.

What's with hiring a male secretary? J-Date not working out?

He is cute, be careful.

She's not like you, she can't just walk into a bar

and pick up her soul mate in 20 minutes.

I met Mark at a fundraiser that happened to be held at a...

You met me at a strip club.

You were the worst $2 I've ever spent. We'll catch up later.

Stacy, it's House. I know you can handle it.

Nothing to handle. He obviously wants to talk to you alone.

If you have a problem working with Stacy,

you should have said so.

What was I supposed to do? Ask her to leave? That's just rude.

Death row guy. I want the case.

How do you even know about him?

You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe.

No, but Party-Pants does.

You stole my password?

Hardly counts as stealing, it's a pretty obvious choice.

Well, I have already assigned "death row guy" to Dr. Nolo.

Nolo? Well, I...

I don't wanna say anything bad about another doctor,

especially a useless drunk.

You are addicted to pain pills.

Yeah, but I'm not useless. Tell Nolo I'm taking over.

Dr. Nolo is a board-certified cardiologist.

Well, good. I'm sure he'll explore all the usual options

for why a guy's heart starts beating so fast it pumps out air instead of blood.

Wait a second. There are no usual options.

How badly do you want this?

I will give you two more clinic hours this week.

Don't bend over for the soap.

Just the heart, or the patient have any other complaints?

Patient's not talking to anybody.

Where are we going?

You are going to the clinic for two hours.

Me? Why?

Talk to Cuddy.

She's got me going to Mercer State Prison, Capital Sentences Unit.

Aren't there better ways to spend our time?

Good question. What makes a person deserving?

Is a man who cheats on his wife

more deserving than a man who kills his wife?

Yeah, actually, he is.

What about a child molester?

Certainly not a good guy, but he didn't kill anybody.

Maybe he can get antibiotics, but no MRls.

What about you?

What medical care should you be denied for being a car thief?

Tell you what. Three of you work on a list

of what medical treatments a person loses based on the crime they committed.

I'll review it when I get back.

Your patient shanked one inmate his first month here.

Broke another one's neck. Nearly decapitated one of my guards.

Relax. I got a great bedside manner.

Too dangerous to house him in the Infirmary.

You don't have to worry, we've taken every precaution.

I've had my men clear from the cell all pens, paper clips, and staplers.

Any supplies that might be used as a weapon.

Open her up!

For your visit, we've got him cuffed and shackled.

And yet you're staying out there.

You're gonna have to give me that. Wouldn't want anybody to get hurt.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm Dr. Cameron. How you feeling?

Little cough, no big deal.

Okay, then what you doing here?

I just got a job at the university, they need a health clearance.

Apparently, I'm a little anemic, so they made me get some more tests.

Any family history of anemia?

Not that I know of. My mom died of cancer when I was a kid.

My dad's heart gave out a couple of years ago.

Brothers and sisters?

I'm afraid it's a short family history. That's it.

I had a husband once, but it didn't stick.

My tests should be back, probably in that file.

- Probably. - Yeah.

Is everything okay?

Did you redo the x-ray? - Twice.

Well, you don't need a consult.

You know the diagnosis.

All she has is a cough.

Bluish tinge to the fingernails. Lips.

- He's hypoxia. - What's that mean?

It means he's not getting enough oxygen.

You know how people say you can't live without love?

Well, oxygen's even more important.

He's got fluid in his lungs. Breathing rate of 50.

He needs to be intubated, put on a respirator.

Don't have a respirator.

Better get one in about an hour, or you're gonna lose him.

I'll make out a requisition. State's already sentenced this man to die.

I think the state was a tad more specific about how.

This is Dr. Gregory House.

I need an ambulance pick-up at Mercer State Prison.

Wasted call, my men will stop them at the gate.

No way a death row inmate leaves my prison.

At least, not through the front doors.

- You work fast. - So do you.

- Was that a shot? - Yeah.

It was easy, once I convinced the clerk to take it to Judge Markham.

She's a sucker for Eighth Amendment arguments.

Stop, I'm getting turned on.

House!

It was just a consult!

You expect us to shut down an entire floor for this guy?

Did you do something to your hair?

Stacy!

You said you cleared it with her!

Come on, you've known me how long?

And you still can't tell when I'm joshing you?

- Take him back to prison. Now. - No, can't.

See, ironically, I'm bound by this court order that your ace attorney got.

I have to make him all better before shipping him back for the state to kill him.

Is it just me, or is that weird?

Anyway, we're walking.

Somebody left this on my chair.

It's clever, 'cause it forces me to either deal with the file or never sit down again.

Cindy Kramer. I told her you'd see her.

Well, you shouldn't have told her that.

She's got metastatic squamous cell lung cancer. Six months tops.

Have you even looked at the x-ray?

No. Just guessing.

It's a new game. If I'm wrong, she wins a stuffed bear.

A spot on an x-ray doesn't necessarily mean that she's terlninal.

I love children. So filled with hope.

It could be pneumonia. It could be sarcoidosis.

Could be. If she didn't already have swollen hilar lymph nodes on the other lung.

Can we at least brainstorm for other ideas?

Thank you.

I still think pneumonia and sarcoidosis.

But, we should check for tuberculosis

and definitely rule out congestive heart failure.

Five stages of dying.

Exactly.

Personally, I think it's all just New Age crap,

but from your tear-filled, puppy dps eves,

I think I've made my point.

Now go tell Cindy whatever-her-name-is that she's dying.

Tachycardia. Pulmonary edema. Likely suspects?

The death row guy?

That's who you're working on instead of Cindy?

God, I've got to learn not to beat around the bush.

By "dying", I meant no matter what we do.

Very, very soon she is going to be dead. Is that still too subtle?

I took an oath to "do no harm".

Yeah, but it's not like they make you sign it or anything.

We cure your patient, he goes back to death row.

He goes back to death row, they kill him.

He stays here and we don't treat him, he dies.

And I still don't treat "Cindy Lou Who".

Can we get on with this?

Yeah, I knew I could count on your help for your homie.

Exactly. I'm black. I sympathize with guys who grew up in the inner city,

kept down by The Man.

- Makes sense to me. It's a bunch of crap!

You can't blame society for the fact that you chose to become a killer.

The guy's probably a heroin addict.