Entourage

- I'm not calling her again. - I wouldn't.

What could I have possibly done wrong this time?

- You won't know unless you call. - So you think I should call?

- If you want to know what you did wrong. - All right, I'll call.

I'm not calling because I didn't do anything.

- Good for you, taking a stand. - A stand against what?

A stand against women who get mad at us when we haven't even done anything.

When have you had that, Turtle?

I've had everything you've had.

Jamie mad at you about something?

No, but she did get weird when I told her

about the sorority girls rolling around in my underwear.

What did she say? - Nothing much.

Just that she's driving me to school from now on.

- Ooh, that make you nervous? - No, why should it?

Maybe 'cause you're still thinking about that one girl.

- Thinking about her? - Yeah, like you want to bang her.

- Stop. I have a girlfriend. - Oh, so you don't want to bang her?

I don't even want to think about banging her 'cause I have a girlfriend.

Good for you, Turtle.

Why, you think I should bang her?

No no no no.

But it would be normal if you did think about it.

I am thinking about it. I feel very guilty.

Yo, Johnny. What's up?

- How was work? - Awful.

Stacy, can I get another one of these, please?

- Amstel. - I'll have one of those too.

- Okay, Turtle? - Driving.

- All right. - What happened?

Apparently the facial lacerations

that Coakley made them give me are infected and

- my character's got staph or something. - Whoa.

In tonight's scene, my speech was slurred

so they had to rush me to the hospital.

I think my character's heading for a coma.

- Jesus. - Yeah.

I can't take much more of this.

At least you're still getting a paycheck.

I didn't get into this business for a paycheck, Turtle.

I got into this business so that the world could see my talent.

Oh, Christ. This just ain't my night.

- What happened? - See the guy who walked in over there?

- Don't look! - You said, "See the guy over there?"

- Now I'm telling you don't look at him. - Who is he?

It's the producer that fired me from "Melrose Place."

God, don't see me.

Hold on a second. Johnny Chase!

- Johnny Chase. - Hey, Phil Yagoda.

- How the hell are you? - What's going on, man? I'm good.

- Been a long time. - Yeah yeah.

This is my brother Vince, Turtle and Eric.

- Hey, guys. Big fan. - Thanks.

So how're you doing? Show's doing great?

Yeah yeah. Loving it there.

It's just one of the great working experiences of my life.

- Beautiful. - No offense.

None taken, man. We had some good times back in the day.

Yeah, it did take me

to Crazy Girls after you canned me.

I didn't can you. Higher ups than me did.

- Yeah, well... - I can't believe you're sitting here, man.

I literally was just thinking about you.

Yeah? Why?

Well, we're gearing up to do "Melrose" 2009

and, um...

There's a part you're perfect for.

- Really? - Yeah.

You would work with me again?

Yeah, Johnny.

In a second, man, if you were available.

Hey, nice to see you, man.

- Take care, guys. - See you, man.

Can you imagine me back on "Melrose Place"?

Talk about a return-to-glory story.

You're not available so stop killing yourself about it.

Maybe I could get out of my "Five Towns" contract.

Coakley said he's gonna torture you for the rest of your life.

- You know that's never gonna happen. - Never say never.

Come on, let's have some positivity, people.

- Think it's possible, bro? - Anything's possible, Johnny.

- What should I do? - Call your agent.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

I didn't mean right this second.

Yeah, maybe I'll wait 30 minutes.

- Where are you going? - I'm going to Ashley's.

- I got to know what I did. - You've been drinking.

Yeah, okay, you're right. Turtle, you gonna drive me?

What happened to taking a stand?

- Come on, get up. I need a ride. - Good luck.

I can't wait any longer.

Well, you have no temperature.

Check it again. I know I'm dying.

You're not dying. Leaving Ari has you fearing for your life, maybe.

But this is going to be the best thing that's ever happened to you.

- Trust me. - (phone ringing)

- Is it Ari? - Nope, Johnny Chase.

My only client.

What if he doesn't want to come with me?

Convey confidence and he will.

All right?

- Hi, Johnny. - Hey, Lloyd, I got some news.

I do as well. I've left Ari for greener pastures.

I'd like a commitment from you that you're coming with me.

- You left Ari? - I'm working with Adam Davies now.

- Jesus Christ, not today! - There's nothing to worry about.

Look, I think maybe I can get on the new "Melrose Place"

if I can get out of my "Five Towns" contract.

- Johnny... - Lloyd, I need you to find out if it's true.

If it is, see if you can get me out of that contract.

Are you gonna come with me?

Take care of what I just told you and we'll talk.

Later. I am so screwed.

Christ, I've got work to do.

Grab me a handful of Xanaxs, would you?

I'm okay, I'm in work mode. Go!

Stop stop stop.

You want me to wait?

No, I'm all good.

You are a confident drunk.

Jesus Christ, Eric. What are you doing?

- Let me in. - Go to the front.

- What time is it? - It's early.

- You didn't call me back. - I was going to.

I didn't feel like waiting.

- I don't want to get in a fight. - Me either.

But I know I'm in trouble. And since I know I didn't do anything

why don't you tell me what the problem is so I can clear this up?

- Are you drunk? - Not really.

What did I do?

Okay, who is Rupert Pupkin?

- What? - Yesterday morning when the phone rang

- you said it was Turtle. - It was.

- Then you said it was Drama. - It was.

Then the caller I.D. Said it was Rupert Pupkin.

Jesus.

Who is Rupert Pupkin?

It's, uh...

well, he's a guy I've been seeing on the side.

I'm kidding. It's Vince's alias.

- His alias? - Yeah, he can't be calling people

and Vincent Chase comes up. It's from "King of Comedy."

- Why don't you trust me? - I don't know.

You're gonna have to learn to or it's never gonna work.

This is why I didn't want to talk last night.

I don't want to be grilling you.

- Something about us is off. - We're not off.

I'm not like this.

Then what are you like? Tell me, please, I want to know.

Eric, it's like 7:00 A.M.

Good, that way we can sleep before I go to work.

Uh, sleep?

Yeah, trust me.

- Okay, fine. - Okay.

- Baby. - Yeah?

I woke up with wood.

And why is that my problem?

- Just take care of me. - How about you take care of me?

Come on, I have to work all day. I don't want to work now.

- Sorry. - Okay, fine.

- (phone ringing) - Jesus.

- Rupert Pupkin? - Vince.

- Hello? - Oh God.

Baby, I need at least a blowjob.

Blow yourself.

Yo, buddy.

Yo, Ari, sorry for calling so early.

- Everything okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- It's Johnny. - I'm freaking out, Ari.

What's the problem?

He heard Lloyd's going over to Adam Davies.

- Ari? - Adam Davies?

Yeah, I assumed you knew.

Of course I knew.

Good riddance. What's Drama worried about?

He's got a career crisis going on and he's not sure Lloyd can handle it.

- Of course he can't handle it. - I'm desperate for help, Ari.

Help is on the way. Just give me the details.

I'm sorry you feel that way, Ari.

You're sorry, Lloyd?!

You have no idea how sorry you're going to be.

I am going to destroy you.

I am going to erode

every fiber of your spirit.

You no longer exist.

You are dead to me.

And the town will know that anyone meeting with you,

speaking with you or even nodding to you

on the street will be dead as well.

So die, Lloyd. Die die die!

And when you're gagging on Davies' balls

I want you to bite down so he can die too.

Call Dan Coakley's office,

set up an emergency meeting ASAP.

Welcome, Lloyd.

- Glad to have you onboard. - Glad to be here, thank you.

Come on back. Gonna get an office ready for you after lunch.

But in the meantime, you can use the conference room

and Jeff here will help you with anything you need.

- Thank you so much. - Mm-hmm.